I turned back to the rabbit and reached for the spade, pressing the button.
“Sometimes it burns so fucking hot that I can’t feel anything else.” A pause. “I just feel this…thisthinggrowing inside of me, burning, scratching, clawing to get out, and despite your feelings of him, you allowed me to explore that and become this. You all…hatehim. I can see it in your eyes, but you have never hated me. You love me, despite what they uncovered when they hurt me, and I will never be able to repay you for that.”
My brows furrowed and I turned back to Azrael for answers to a question I didn’t have the words for.
Her voice was a little higher than Emily’s. Friendly but fierce. I bet she had a beautiful laugh. A sing-songy one. I bet she could sing well too.
Maybe, if I ever found my voice again, we could sing together.
“Love, I’ve heard, can be a powerful emotion if utilized correctly,” he explained. “I don’t believe it, still to this day, but I’ve seen what the delusion can do to them.” He lifted his chin. “Those men in that compound widened a crack she had already had, shifting her into something more. Some have said she has a little me living within her, but I have yet to truly see it.”
But I could see it in his eyes. He had seen it, pieces of it. He saw the truth of what they had done to her, and he hated it.
I hated it too.
I turned back to the rabbit and pressed the diamond, feeling the anger hardening my features. I wanted Alascer to pay for what he had done to Olivia. I wanted all of them to pay for what they had done to Azrael’s family.
“That assignment was a difficult one,” Rae said, her voice clearly tired. There was a pause and then she started laughing. “Yes, I could keep going. She must have been a professional though, who even knows karate anymore?” Another pause. “We’re more than just people in masks, Jack, I think it’d doeveryone good to remember that.” Another pause. “Fuck that, I need a new dress and some new shoes, let’s go shopping!”
I gaped, shock running through me, my eyes finding Azrael’s. She had cursed, and now that I think about it, Olivia had too! Why would they do that? It was a horrible sin.
But Azrael only smiled, this one soft. “In our world, cursing is a part of the job description. Not my usual preference, but a few of them talk like sailors.”
My face must have twisted because he then said, “someone who rides aboard a ship. A pirate, if you’d like, but it’s a common saying. Cursing like a sailor.”
Cursing like a sailor. I turned back to the rabbit. I had only ever heard the men in the church curse, and only when they were putting their cock into my mouth.
I had never heard Azrael curse before though. I wondered what it would sound like coming from his mouth.
I studied the rabbit, so happy that I had a friend to live with me now, but a few seconds later, realization hit. I glanced up towards the camera in the kitchen and back down to the rabbit, worry filling me. They would make me get rid of it.
“You’re allowed to keep it,” Azrael explained easily. “The rules state you aren’t allowed any gifts except for one. A wedding gift from your betrothed.”
My brows furrowed and I immediately took a step away from the table. No. No, I thought this was from him. I thought this was fromhim. I didn’t want it if it was from Thomas. I didn’t want the perfume or the smelly soaps. I didn’t want anything that would make Thomas want me more. No, no, no.
My breathing started coming in short, shallow breathes, my heart racing. It had a camera in it too, didn’t it? The rabbit was a camera, something else for him to spy on me with. He was trying to trick me, trying to get into the closet with me. No, no, no, no—
The antlers wrapped around my jaw, forcing my chin up, my eyes closing out of habit.
“Look at me,” Azrael ordered.
I squeezed my eyes shut tightly before opening them to find his, seeing a chilling anger there, my hands flexing at my sides, my spine stiff.
“I’m disappointed in you, little sinner,” he hummed. “Assuming that I would allow the man you dream of killing to marry you is blasphemous in my world. Everything has a price, even false sacred laws written in a book bound in leather.”
I slowed, my mind spinning in confusion.
He angled his head, his eyes falling to my lips and flicking right back up to mine. “We are to be married in two weeks, Scarlett. The Sunday after next.”
I froze, my heart froze, my lungs froze. I couldn’t do anything but stare into his eyes for several seconds before it became too much and my eyes dropped to his lips. I was…I was betrothed to Azrael now? I was to behiswife? Not…not Thomas’?
I closed my eyes, my hands wrapping around the cane of their own accord. I’d been betrothed to Thomas my entire life. A lifetime of pleasing him, of lashings and punishments, of praises when I did good. I had come to terms with being shared among the Leaders, I had…
I had never wanted to be married. Ever. It was just expected of me. Marry, have his children, follow his rules for the rest of my life. The idea had always made my stomach twist and turn, made me want to retch, but I had come to terms with the sentence I was given.
I didn’t want to marry anyone, not even Azrael, but, I suppose, if I had to choose, I would always choose to carry out the sentence with Azrael.
I was to be Azrael’s wife.
