If he wasn’t an Elder, he just failed the first test. If you can’t be friendly with the Leaders or the Pastor, they’ll never let you be a Pillar. I learned as much during the time I spent here.
Thomas’ legs shifted, so I counted to one before following after him, only for Azrael to stop us just as I passed him. “And what is your name, fiancé?”
Thomas stopped, grabbed my arm, and moved me away from him, as if he were afraid the sea would sweep me away. “Scarlett Harris,” he answered before ushering me away. “You’re not to speak with him. You’re not to look at him. You’re not to think about him, is that clear?”
I nodded, his voice chilling my skin. Of course, I knew that. It was one of the first rules he beat into me.
“Good, now let’s get you changed, the Leaders are feeling pent up today.”
6
Scarlett
July 28th, 2019
Icould feel those eyes again. The warmth of the sun resting on the waves of the sea.
He was back.
He had been gone for so long, I thought maybe Pastor Masters had made him disappear like he made others disappear who weren’t worthy enough.
But I felt them lingering on the back of my neck, warming my skin. Curious, studious. He was looking for an answer I was sure he would never find. Not here, at least.
I wondered how long he was going to study us before he rendered his verdict. Whatever verdict that might be.
Maybe hewasan Elder and they were keeping stock of the Favorites, of how well the auction was going. I knew that there were a few Favorites mixed into the crowd. Selena, Vassy, Mariah, and some others, along with those who were bought at the auction who needed to be saved by God.
Maybe he was curious to know if the value was worth the price. Or maybe he was looking for an expansion. The auction was getting quite large, maybe they wanted more of them. More buildings, more churches.
I couldn’t imagine more.
Or maybe it was much simpler than that.
Maybe he just wanted someone special to go back with him. The Favorites of Elders were almost like royalty. Elders couldpick anyone to be their Favorite, even me, and being the Favorite of Pastor Masters’ son put me in direct line with them. Perhaps he was considering taking me.
A small part of me hoped he would. If I was the Favorite of an Elder, the Leaders here would never come near me again.
There was no other reason why he would stare at me for so long during service. He had to be an Elder, yet…that still didn’t feel right, and normally, when I had a feeling in my soul, it was right.
But maybe I was wrong this time. I could be wrong.
We were singing now. They were. I wasn’t allowed to sing, but I remembered how much I loved to do it when I sang quietly in my room.
I hadn’t said a word in so long though, I didn’t think I could sing anymore. I couldn’t even remember what my own voice sounded like, but I could hear the little me humming sometimes. She loved soft melodies. Melodies that held weight to them. Melodies that meant something.
They were singing the hymns found in the old hymnals placed somewhere on the pews. Songs from long before I was born, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was singing too. I wondered, if I tried hard enough, if I could eliminate enough of the voices I recognized to hear him among them.
If he picked me as his Favorite, I hoped he would sing to me before he began. Maybe then I could concentrate on something other than the panting and grunting of the old men as they stroked themselves.
Or maybe I wouldn’t mind. From what little I had heard of his voice he was younger than the Leaders. Maybe his grunting and panting wouldn’t be as terrible.
When the sermon was over, we waited a few minutes before we got up and joined Pastor Masters at his podium. A couple ofminutes passed before those familiar shoes came into view. The exact same as last time.
The scent washed over me like a breath of fresh air. I had never been to the ocean. We lived so close to Puget Sound and yet I had never seen the water in real life, not that I could remember, anyway, but then again, it wasn’t that hard to never see the outside world when one was shuttled to and from the church in a dark van to a house with black windows.
I’ve learned to like that darkness though. It wasn’t as terrifying as the lights that shined in the rooms in the Back Hall. It wasn’t as terrifying as the flashing lights from the cameras either.
“Welcome back,” Pastor Masters said. “I thought we had lost a member after only one service.”
