Just at the thought, more tears spilled. He was doing it for me. He was doing it because he knew I needed it, despite the fact that it was unfamiliar and uncomfortable for him.
His fingers lingered along the shell of my ear, something like fear in his eyes, hatred, anger, confusion, shame. I knew all of it. I felt all of it too. “Lie to me,” he told me carefully, his eyes taking in my entire face.
I swallowed, finding it harder and harder to breathe the longer he stared at me like that. “I’m fine,” I said through my teeth.
He nodded as if he knew. “Again.”
I inhaled, shaking my head, working my jaw. “I’mfine, Everett, I’m fine,” I whispered. “I’m okay.”
His throat bobbed and a muscle in his jaw feathered as hiseyes finally met mine. “I’m learning,” he told me softly. “You have to let me learn.”
I inhaled sharply again, tears blurring the world, a sob catching in my throat. I gasped and shook my head, the tears spilling down my face as the events of the evening swept over me in waves. Lucy could have died. She was hurt because of me. A man snuck into my house and could have killed me, and had I not had a gun, had he killed Lucy, I would have died too.
I dug my nails into my chest as I gripped my hand into a fist, my breathing labored. I took a few gasping breaths, trying one last time to control myself only for the flood gates to rupture.
I leaned over myself, gasping, the pain only pushing the tears and sobs to come faster as I covered my face with my hands.
I heard Lucy get up, felt her fur press against my leg a moment later, her warm tongue licking my thigh, and then I felt Everett’s arm wrap around me, hesitant but there. He pulled me into him slowly, until my head found his chest, his hands warm and sure as he held me against him.
I broke down in his arms, shaking and crying, the cracking sobs only causing the pain in my back to flare. Lucy could have died. I could have died. A man broke into my house, got into my room, and could have killed me with such ease. All because I had been distracted with that letter. So caught up in it, I hadn’t paid attention to anything. That couldn’t happen again. I wouldn’t allow it.
“He almost killed my dog,” I managed to get out when the choking sobs calmed down enough.
He carefully rubbed my back. “I would have helped you burn the world down if that had happened,” he said quietly.
I clutched into his tie, his shirt, letting the tears fall, letting him try and comfort me in the best way he knew how.
I wasn’t sure how long we sat there before my tears finally slowed, before the exhaustion settled in my bones, and I hadthoroughly doused him in tears and snot, but I finally, slowly, pushed myself up, wincing and hissing at the pain it caused, using his clothes as a crutch to pull myself up to a sit.
My hand found Lucy’s head as she rested it on my thigh, her fur still covered in blood that was now dried. I wiped my face, sniffing, searching her eyes. She was okay, she was safe. “She’s mine,” I finally said, my voice thick with tears. “I got her when I first moved here. The first thing that was ever solely mine. Not something mom could use against me or something Steven had gotten for me to manipulate my mind. Just mine, and all I did for all these years was force her to watch me suffer. I trained her to fight, and I made her suffer. She’s angry. I made her angry. I caused this to happen. I broke her.”
Everett was quiet for a long time before he finally spoke again, his voice almost raspy, as if he had been the one crying instead of me. “She’s angry because you didn’t let her save you.”
“I didn’t need saving,” I said, irritation sliding into my voice as my eyes found his. “I don’t need saving.”
His eyes fell to my lips, the shake of his head almost imperceptible. “No, you don’t…” his eyes lifted back to mine. “But she doesn’t know that. She runs on instinct, and you are her pack. Her only pack. Her pack was in danger, Olivia, and she fell back on the only thing she knew; protect the pack.”
I inhaled sharply at his words, new tears falling as my eyes found hers. Protect the pack.
She was covered in blood, her bright blue eyes watching me from beyond the gore, filled with light, her tongue hanging from her mouth, her ears perked.
Protect the pack.
He went quiet again, and after a few seconds, my eyes were drawn back to his, the light of the moon the only thing filling the dark room. “You read the letter,” he said as soon as my eyes found his.
I nodded, wiping my hand under my nose. “Every word.”
He cocked his head to the side softly, his eyes furrowing just a hair, as if he were trying to see if I was lying this time or not. As if he couldn’t quite believe I would do something like that. “You understand the rules then. What’s required of you going forward.”
I nodded, unintentionally rolling my eyes. “Yeah, and I expect the gun to the head very soon.”
His eyes flamed in anger, in rage, his hand finding my throat in less than a second only to loosen to a softer grip. “Already planning on betraying us, little writer?” he hummed, his normal demeanor back. Chilling and threatening. Angry.Hisinstinct. To protecthispack.
It was something I shouldn’t have said whether I meant it or not. A family like this, the loyalty in their blood. Even suggesting a betrayal wasn’t something to fuck with, and rationally, I knew that. But I was so tired. I didn’t have it in me to pretend, to bite back my words, to do anything but just…be.
My legs tightened, and my hand wrapped around his wrist involuntarily. “I suspect you didn’t expect me to be such a crybaby.”
He snarled softly, baring his teeth, his canines a little sharper than the rest of his teeth, his hand flexing around my throat again only to soften as if he were barely holding onto his control. “I knew what you were a long time ago, Olivia. As I said yesterday, I amveryaware of what I have done. I don’t regret my decisions, not unless you make me.”
