I kept fucking her for a few seconds long before I pulled my fingers out and sat back, removing myself completely, unsure if she would want me near her now that she was falling from her high.
She collapsed, breathing hard, her face red, her grip on my neck easing until she finally removed her legs and hand from me and closed her legs, her eyes falling.
I watched her, my heart dropping. “Don’t retreat in on yourself, Olivia,” I requested. “Please. You did so well, stay with me.”
But she wouldn’t even look me in the eyes. She pulled her legs up into the bed. “Can I please have a little bit?”
My brows pulled together, but I smoothed them out as quickly as I could. “Of course.” I pushed myself to a stand and took a few steps back, watching as she turned away from meand crawled further into the bed.
Fuck. “You’re going to be okay,” I told her quietly. “I promise.”
34
Olivia
November 9th, 2022
“Idon’t know where Merlin is,” Everett said when I finally walked out of the bedroom in a new pair of sweats.
He would never understand it because I didn’t completely understand it myself, but I think what he had done in there, the talking, the leaving the room when I asked, giving me space, I think it finally got me back on the path I needed to be on.
A path that would hopefully lead somewhere good.
I glanced around the room, He was right, he had to be. What happened in there had shifted something. The crying, the cuddling, the fingering. It was a step in the right direction, I was sure of it. I just had to keep pushing myself. I had to keep moving forward, no matter what fears I felt.
It was the only way we would make it out of this.
I whistled his little tune and waited as Everett stood from thetable and headed for the fridge.
A few seconds later, I saw him running out from under the couch. “He must have hidden away,” I said, crouching down and holding out my hand.
He ran right into it. I stroked his little head as I stood. Maybe it was time I bought him his own home so he wouldn’t get so lost all the time.
“Are you hungry?”
I nodded, taking my seat at the table.
When I didn’t respond out loud, he turned back to me, something flashing through his eyes.
Shit.
“Um…” I cleared my throat, setting Merlin on the table. “Yes, but,” I started as he turned back around.
His eyes found mine again, trusting, warm.
“Can we—can…Please no carrots.” I prayed he wouldn’t ask why. I prayed I wouldn’t have to talk about it at all.
He offered a small smile, his eyes flicking to my lips and back. “No carrots,” he agreed, and got to work on making us some food, and I watched him. Watched the way his body moved while he cut up the potatoes, tore up some lettuce. None of his motions were sharp or angry. There was no tension in his shoulders or a chill in the air.
Everything was fine.
Truly, actually fine.
When dinner was ready, he dished up both plates and walked them over, placing one in front of me before taking his seat adjacent to mine.
It smelled amazing, just like all his food. After a few minutes of eating, I finally worked up the courage to ask about the one person from that place I had hoped lived through it. “Is Phil…” but the words died on my lips. Did I want to know the answer? What if he had killed him? I couldn’t blame him, but Phil wasa good man. He tried to be a good man. They had mentioned his name once, but I couldn’t be sure if that meant he was still breathing.
“Alive,” Everett confirmed, relief flooding through me. “As far as I’m concerned, he did what he could given the circumstances. I wanted to kill him,” he confessed quietly. “Because he did take their money, he took the job, but if he had not been there…”
