I shrugged, finding his eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay. “Because I didn’t get to say my piece,” I whispered. “I never had the guts to do something about it. Tell him that I hated the way he treated me, that I hated him. I didn’t get the chance to find my bravery. I’m a coward,” I inhaled sharply, covering my lips with my fingers and quickly looking away, forcing the tears down before they managed to fall. I never wanted to willingly bleed for anyone again, that’s what I had decided the day he died, yet what did I do? Lay in my bed for days before Everett showed up and forced me out of it?
It was pathetic.
After a few seconds, I cleared my throat and forced my hand down, taking a drink of wine to settle myself. “I’m sorry,” I apologized, shaking my head.
Mr. Kingsmen sat forward, his eyes so intense, so captivating, it was hard not to fall into them. “Never apologize for feeling, my dear. I told that to my second oldest once. Rose, there is something that you need to understand about bravery, okay? Something I was only ever able to teach a few of my children.”
“And what is that?” I asked, praying he had some fix. Praying that he would say exactly the right thing and it would make all ofthis… this…turmoil disappear.
“Sometimes bravery means walking away. All of my children, from the ones I first adopted to the ones they have or will marry, they are all brave in their very own ways. Just because you don’t pull the trigger doesn’t mean you are any less brave than the person that did. Bravery looks different to everyone, yes, but so long as you’re doing something you are afraid to do it is no less brave than anything else.”
I searched his eyes, my brows furrowing.
He lifted his chin, his gaze unwavering. “Looking down the barrel of a gun and laughing is just as brave as standing up for what you believe in, even when you’re standing alone. He died before you said your piece, but perhaps there is another way you can show him that what he did to you did not destroy you.”
~~~
I waited on the sidewalk for a cab, not taking the chance that I had the last time I was here. At this point, I was sure Everett had just been making an excuse to get me into the alley, but honestly, I was too tired to do anything else but hail a cab and get home.
Crying in front of a banker was not on my bucket list, but God, did it make me feel better, even if it was just a little, it was something.
I pulled my jacket closer, glancing up and down the street. I should have stayed inside until it got here, it was chilly tonight.
“Rose? What are you still doing here?”
I glanced back, Mr. Kingsmen joining me, his own coat and hat on. He looked so different wearing that old fedora and long trench. Like a man straight out of an old crime novel. “Just waiting for a cab. I thought you had another meeting.”
“They cancelled. Not something I appreciate last minute, but I’ll handle that.” He glanced up and down the street. “You already called them?”
I nodded, shivering. “Yes, they must be busy tonight.”
“Well, in that case, mind if I wait with you? I doubt our cabs will be too far apart.”
I took him in. Standing out here with him? It seemed different than in the restaurant. More personal. “Sure,” I nodded, shoving my hands into my pockets. I turned back to the street. Why was it this cold in May? It should have been warming up.
“Do you have any plans this evening?”
I shrugged, looking down the street again, my motions slowing when I saw that black van again, parked a few cars down across the street. “Just bed, maybe a movie.”
“Oh? What kind? I’ve recently been getting into romance movies myself. Something about the process of falling in love just warms my soul.”
My brows pulled together as I stared at that van. Tonight wasn’t the first time I had seen it since that day in the park. I saw it on my way to Steven’s too, and just the day before that when I had gone on my run. Maybe they were a new delivery service that had yet to get their logo plastered on their doors.
Maybe I was just being paranoid.
“What do you see?”
“Hmm?” I glanced in his direction before turning back to the van. “Oh, nothing, just tired,” I decided, shaking my head. I was just being paranoid. Something that came with being attacked, I guess.
He looked past me in the direction of the van. “Do you recognize it?”
I shrugged, picking up my search for my cab again. “I’ve seen it a few times. A delivery service, I guess.”
“A few times, you say?”
I nodded. “It’s not a big deal.” I straightened at the sight of a cab with its light off. “Oh, I think this is me.”
Sure enough, it pulled up in front of me, causing a breathof relief to fall from my lips. Thank goodness. “Thank you for standing out here with me.”
