I started thinking back, trying to figure out what I had done wrong. What I had said or forgotten, but there was nothing. “I told you that I had a meeting today.”
“No, you absolutely didn’t.”
I closed my eyes, suddenly tired. “I did, Steven. I called you this morning and told you that I had a meeting at work. That I wasn’t sure how—”
“Okay, I don’t need to listen to your lies. I’m at your place right now, I wanted to take you to lunch.”
I stopped, causing someone to run into me. I mumbled an apology, my brows furrowing. “How did you get in?”
“The key you gave me. Are you okay? Did you sleep well last night?”
I straightened, turning towards the street. “I never gave you a key,” I told him, my heart pounding. How did he get a key? That was my one place of sanctuary, why would I ever give him a key?
“Yes, you did,” he said, enunciating each word as if I were too stupid to understand him. “You gave it to me last year. You need to lay off the caffeine, Liv.”
I didn’t….
Did I?
I chewed on my lip, questioning everything. Maybe I had given him a key. A year was a long time to remember something like that and I had already decided that caffeine had to be a factor in my forgetfulness.
“God, you would forget your own head if it wasn’t for me,” he confirmed. “Listen, forget lunch, you’re busy—”
“No, I’m done now, I can have lunch. I actually got some really exciting news,” I said, testing the waters.
“It’s fine, Liv, don’t worry about it. I’ll call you later. Get some rest, you need it.” Click.
Don’t worry about it.
I swallowed, the tears burning the back of my throat.
Don’t worry about it.
Worry about what? About not seeing the boyfriend that I hated more than I hated myself? About the fact that I had just signed another contract for five more books, which meant that I had to come up with five more ideas that might all fucking suck?
Don’t worry about mom pushing me to go to Denver.
Don’t worry about the fact that I had to give up coffee because it was causing this forgetfulness.
Don’t worry about losing your mind.
I wassureI told him about the meeting. I wassureI never gave him a key.
But I was also sure my parents were capable of love when they had been proving to me for 23 years that I was just a pretty face to put in front of their cameras.
I worked my jaw and swallowed the tears back. Forced the emotions down. I needed to get home. I had no idea what he had done to Lucy. She would have certainly attacked him had she been able to.
I walked up to the curb and called a cab. If he hurt my dog, I’d burn down this whole motherfucking world.
~~~
I unlocked my door and walked in, finding my place exactly how I had left it except for the milk left on the counter. “Lucy?” I called, shutting the door behind me.
I held my breath. My apartment wasn’t that big. I would have heard her, right? “Lucy!” I called desperately.
A muffled sound came from my bedroom.
I dropped my things to the floor and ran through my bedroom door. “Lus!”
