“What I just told you. We were being careless and we got caught, so it’s better to end it now before we get in too deep.”
I reach for her hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. “Honey, you’re already in too deep and that man is in love with you.”
“He can’t possibly be. We don’t make sense together. He’s ten years younger than me and could have anyone he wants.” She pauses and takes a deep breath before looking at me. “You know what I noticed last weekend at the game? Before the fight and all that?”
“Can’t wait to hear this. Go on.”
“There were so many women in their twenties at the game. That’s a younger demographic than we’ve reached before and it’s all because of Chase. You should’ve seen their faces whenever he did anything. Literally all he has to do is exist for them to lust after him. Trust me, I get it. Clearly it worked on me, but he could have any of them. Someone without all these complications. Someone better than me.”
And yet, he only has eyes for her. Chase hasn’t so much as looked in another woman’s direction since the conference room. He had women throwing themselves all over him at the horse patrol meet and greet and he still refused to take numbers or give in to their advances. The same was true at Bark in the Park. Women followed him around like he was the puppy to be adopted and the only person he could see was Gabby.
I poke her knee. “First of all, there is no one better than you. Second, shouldn’t that be his choice? You’re making the decision for him when he’s made it perfectly clear that he’s in this with you.”
A lightbulb goes off in my head when I speak those words aloud.
“That’s the problem. He’s done nothing wrong, and I can’t get out of my own way.”
“So, you picked a fight because you were scared and hurt his feelings?” I sigh, knowing it’s exactly what I’ve done with Grant. “Look, I get it, but trust me, you don’t want to let a man like that go and then look back on this in a few years and wish you’d done things differently.”
I look back across the street, lost in my own mind. It’s as if all the dark clouds part and the sky clears. When I left Grant because of my endo diagnosis, when I didn’t tell him we likely wouldn’t be able to have kids, I took that choice away from him. He could’ve still chosen for us to go our separate ways. After all, that’s why I kept it to myself. I didn’t want to hurt him. It’s such an impossible choice.
But, it’s a choice he should’ve been given the opportunity to make for himself. The outcome could have been the same, or it could have been different.
How much time had I wasted with him because I was too selfish and too scared to give him the whole truth about the downfall of our marriage?
How broken did I leave him thinking I chose my career over him? Or that his family was the sole reason I left?
And yet, here he was, still fighting for me—for us. All of it crashes into me with sudden clarity.
I fucked up.
I need to fix it.
When the food arrives, I’ve finished my glass of wine and accepted what I have to do.
Not tonight. Tonight things are too fresh, and Gabby needs me as much as I need her. But tomorrow, I’ll go back home and have the true honest conversation we should’ve had before I moved back in with him. Before I let him think I was only here for the short term, or the fun time.
Grant Davenport has owned my heart for the entirety of my adult life. I think I’ve owned his too. If there’s any chance of us being together, of me not losing the best man I’ve ever known for a second time, I have to do everything in my power to make it work. Even if it means, exposing all the scars I’ve kept hidden for years.
Back inside, Gabby and I settle on the couch with our pizza to watch the game. Chase steps up to the plate and looks as if he’s just going through the motions. His shoulders are slumped,and he takes a half-ass swing at the ball, striking out. He hasn’t struck out in weeks.
The camera pans to his face and the solemn expression as he walks back to the dugout has Gabby asking, “I really fucked up, didn’t I?”
“You sure did, but you’ll fix it.”
“I don’t know how,” she confesses.
“You’ll figure it out.”
We both will.
I should’ve stopped her.
When she ran to her room, packed a bag, and left me here alone, I should have fucking stopped her.
All night, I’ve been miserable. Waiting on her to get back, wondering if she’s coming back, or if we’re done for good.
The lock disengages and my head jerks to the entryway from my spot at the kitchen counter. I’ve been sitting here for the last hour, sipping coffee and debating calling her to ask her to come home.
