“There are always emotions tied to intimacy with you, Stella. You’re my North Star. In everything I do. Every move I’ve made in the last ten years has been to bring you back to me. I’ve been seeking and searching, making moves and countermoves in the background, all to get you back. Don’t you see that? I’m nothing without you. You’re everything to me.”
“Don’t say that.”
I’ve avoided falling for this man over and over since I saw him in St. John last year. I was stupid to think we could live under the same roof, that he could cook me dinner, spoil me with gifts, take care of me and fuck me into next week without emotions getting involved. But it was a delusion I was happy living in because no one has ever treated me as well as he has. No one has ever spoken to my soul like he has. That should’ve been the first indication we were doomed in this endeavor.
My personal devil wasn’t the devil after all—he was the angel sent to save me from the half-life I’d been living since I walked out on him ten years ago. He was the patient savior.
I may have told my brother I was done running from this thing with Grant, but everything in me at this moment is telling me to run. “You didn’t answer me. Why now?” I don’t know what answer I’m looking for that will change the restless feeling inside of me.
He sighs. “I’m tired of not knowing where I stand with you.Of waiting for the other shoe to drop and for you to decide you don’t want this anymore. For you to leave for New York or LA and not hear from you for another three years. And most of all, I don’t want to keep this a secret anymore, and honestly, this was all a means to an end.”
“A means to an end? That’s what I am to you?”
Of all the things he said, that’s the one I latch onto. It feels like a slap in the face. He just told me I was his North Star and now I’m a means to an end. My hackles rise.
“The end wasyou. I want my wife back.”
“You’re delusional. This is not a real marriage.” Even as the words leave my mouth, I want to erase them. To lock them back up and choose a different path, but they’re out and all they do is stoke the flames on an already blazing inferno.
Grant repeats the words he said the last time I tried to tell him we didn’t have a real marriage, when he cornered me in the hallway after Ivory and Preston’s wedding. “The marriage license in my safe says otherwise.”
“A piece of paper doesn’t a marriage make. Besides, that was supposed to be fixed a long time ago. If you would have signed the damn papers.” I’d had divorce papers drawn up two years after I moved out. It felt like time. Our short-lived marriage had run its course. There was no coming back from the brink of disaster.
“I take my vows seriously.” He moves then, taking one small step towards me.
Rolling my eyes, I say, “You don’t even remember them.”
“Taylor Baker.” He takes another step toward me. “Tay baby, my Stella, the one person I can count on. I fell in love with you the moment your eyes met mine. This may be fast, but I know I will love you forever—in this lifetime, in the last, and the next. Our souls are destined. Fate brought you to me and I will never let you go. I promise to love you, cherish you, worship you, and support you always. To never make you question how deep my commitment for you goes. I’ll laugh with you, cry with you,dance in the kitchen with you. Make sure to always feed you pasta and watch the latestMission Impossiblewith you.” He only stops when he’s standing directly in front of me.
“You’re never going to let it go, are you?”
“Let what go?” Grant towers over me. Exasperated anger all over his face as he scrutinizes me.
“That I left.”
“If that was your takeaway then you’re not hearing me. I knew that’s what you needed at the time. The past is the past. I don’t want to go back there. I want to build a future, but I need you to give mesomethingbecause right now, I feel like I’m in this alone. I can’t fight for this relationship alone anymore.”
Tears threaten to spill over in my eyes, but I fight them off. I cannot cry. I cannot back down. Nothing has changed. We may have really hot sex, but the realities are still the realities for a reason.
I thought I was ready to spill all my dark secrets. To let him in and fully commit to us, but now I’m spiraling. I can’t be here. I can’t hear these flowery words and the promise of a lifetime together knowing there’s still doubt in his mind. Knowing that he will always hold it against me that I was the one to throw in the towel. The one who ruined the happily ever after. There was a reason I left years ago, and it has nothing to do with how much I love my husband—except that it’s the very reason I left at all.
“I have to go.” I push him back and run to my room, closing the door behind me. Grant yells out a pained curse and then his door slams shut on the other end of the house. My body feels scratchy, like my skin is too tight and my heart is going to beat out of my chest.
All I can think is I need to get out of here.
Fuck.
After packing a bag and running from the penthouse, I got in my car and started driving. I could’ve stayed in another room at the hotel, but I didn’t feel right about being in the same building as Grant and not talking to him. I also just need my friend, which is how I find myself pulling into Gabby’s driveway. We haven’t talked since Chase and Miller got into a fight at the game the other night, so I hope she’s okay with me staying here.
Thankfully, the guys are on the road. Otherwise, I’d risk walking in on sexy times and I can’t stomach that right now, especially after my own attempt at seduction backfired so spectacularly.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” Gabby asks when she opens the door.
“Can’t a girl come visit her friend?” I attempt for lighthearted and fall somewhere near deflated.
She eyes me but doesn’t push. “Mmm, come on, I was about to order food.” Disappearing inside, I follow her to the kitchen where she has takeout menus spread out on the counter. I drop my bag by the stairs for later and join her in the open-concept kitchen.
“The fact that you don’t cook always surprises me,” I say.
