“Are you?”
“Fine.”
No, I’m not. This was a terrible idea. I knew my heart was too involved and that being physical in any capacity would only make me want her more. The problem is, I don’t know if she wants me, and that is almost too much to bear.
“Grant . . .” Her finger slips from the ring and the reality of the boundary we just obliterated crashes over me.
“I’ll leave you to finish your bath. I need to get to the office anyway.”
Her defeated sigh follows me all the way to my room, where I jump in a cold shower and try to forget the need still pulsing through me.
It’s impossible.
By the time I pull up to Ivory’s house, my heart rate has almost returned to normal, and my cramps are manageable. This morning took a wild turn, and while I hate how Grant walked away, I can’t bring myself to regret it.
He’s been wearing our wedding band this entire time. When he was wearing it at Ivory and Preston’s wedding, I thought he brought it to make a point, but no, he wears it every damn day. Mine is in my safe in New York. What does that say about our dynamic that he never lets it out of his sight and I’ve locked mine away?
And holy shit, the tattoo. He tattooed his penis with a star to represent my nickname. And named all his business ventures for me too. It’s too much.
It’s the ultimate demonstration of pining. Isn’t this everything a girl should want? Why am I still hesitant?
Because you’re worried he’ll change his mind and decide it’s not worth it when he finds out the full truth about your endo diagnosis, that kids are not in your future.I can’t handle the disappointment.
The reminder has me jumping out of the car. I can’t think about this right now. I need to be present with my friends. The best part of this year has been reconnecting with them, attending cookouts, going to games.
Taking a deep breath, I walk up the steps and into the house. From the front door of Ivory’s house, I can see all the way to thebackyard with the way the living room flows seamlessly into the chef’s kitchen. Now that Ivory knows how to cook, she’s always in the kitchen and looking for a reason to host us all at their house.
“The party has arrived.” I shimmy my shoulders joining everyone huddled around the island like I’m not absolutely dying from menstrual pain and my husband coming all over me in the bath this morning.
“Think the party was already here this time,” Miller says from the kitchen, nodding toward Gabby and Chase.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” Hip-checking Gabby, I turn to the guys. “Out. We have things to discuss, and your presence is not allowed.” I point to the back door.
“Man, I always miss the fun stuff,” Miller whines, but lets Preston push him out of the kitchen and onto the back patio.
“Come on, Rook,” Preston calls behind him.
Chase presses a kiss to Gabby’s temple then follows the guys out.
I wait for the door to click shut before turning to my bestie. “It was the trench coat, wasn’t it?” I pop a grape into my mouth and smirk when Gabby turns the brightest shade of red.
“Spill.” Ivory waves a knife in her direction, still chopping up vegetables for a salad.
Gabby looks at Ivory, guiltily. “Chase and I had a one-night stand after your wedding.”
Ivory waves her off. “Pshh, old news.”
“You knew?”
“Please, I love Preston, but he sucks at keeping secrets from me. Remember how I already knew he was the silent investor in Serentia and let him think I didn’t know.”
She winks, and I smile at the memory of Preston thinking he could surprise Ivory by being a silent investor in her new production company a few years ago.
“Plus I kinda pieced it together with the way you seemed familiar with Chase when he was called up, and your reaction tohim getting arrested wasn’t exactly ‘I’m worried for the team.’ It was personal. Then there was the whole BDE commentary.” Ivory eyes me and I simply shrug.
“She said he had the goods, so I told our girl to get it because that man is fine as hell.”
“Yeah, he is,” Ivory agrees. “So, what’s the trench coat about?”
