“I should have told you first,” I start to apologize and backtrack, but he cuts me off.
“Why did you choose that one?” Leave it to Preston to ask the really tough questions. I hope my answer can do it justice.
“I don’t know.” Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath before opening them again. His eyes bore into mine. The same affection as before is reflected back at me but there is also compassion and an acceptance, a hope that I give him the most honest vulnerable answer.
“I was looking at our pictures from Caracol. We look so happy. I look so happy. So free. So unlike Ivory Crenshaw. I definitely didn’t want to share those pictures. They are just for us. But then I came across that picture I took while you were driving. Something about it spoke to me. There’s not much to it. Just the scenery around the car and a simple touch between two people, but to me it framed this trip. I can’t think of this trip without thinking of you now. I didn’t really think. It was a gut reaction. I posted it.” I start hyperventilating in panic as it all comes crashing around me.
“Hey, hey, hey.” Preston pulls my head towards him, leaning his forehead against mine. “Breathe,” he coaches. “In, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four.”
He breathes with me as he gently rubs my neck and my leg. The touch and the breathing exercises distract me enough that my breathing slows.
I don’t notice tears have collected until Preston swipes a stray one away.
“It’s a great picture. I love it. You have nothing to be sorry for. Do you hear me?” I nod but don’t speak. “Absolutely nothing. I don’t know who made you feel so out of control in your own life but that stops here. You are not responsible for what others do with what you put out there. The media is going to twist everything because you don’t fit into the mold they created for you. You can’t carry that weight. It will eat you alive. Italready has. I see it in how you just shut down. Those are things you cannot control, Serentia.”
I don’t know what that word means but it sounds nice. Tears are fully running down my face now. No one has ever spoken these words to me. I’ve always shouldered this weight alone. And for the first time, I don’t feel like I have to.
“We’re a team, right?” he asks, drying my tears as they continue to fall.
Nodding, I let that settle. I’ve never been part of a team before. I like the way it sounds. “A team. Yes.”
“Then we’re in this together. If it blows up, it blows up. If you want to make it official, we can make it official. If you never want to post anything again, then you don’t post again. None of it matters to me. Ivory Crenshaw doesn’t matter to me. The only person that matters to me is you. I care about Ives. I’ve fallen for the wild, free, adventurous, chef-in-training, passenger princess, sassy woman I ran into at a bar on vacation and ended up spending months with.” He kisses me as if to drive his point home. “Her.”Kiss.“Only.”Kiss.“Her.”Kiss.
I have no other words. Preston has stripped us both bare, with his words and my confession. I feel so exposed and raw that I don’t know what else to do or say. Instead, I continue kissing him. Quick closed mouth kisses turn into deeper open mouthed kisses but it goes no further. Eventually, Preston lays back down. I follow and curl up on his chest as he strokes my hair. He doesn’t try to make it sexual. We lay there with me draped over top of him. He doesn’t ask me to move. He doesn’t do anything except hold me close and lull me to sleep with his caress and softly spoken words.
“How are you feeling?” Preston’s arms slide around my waist as he steps up behind me in the shower. I lean back into his solid chest. The water is warm at my front though the pressure isn’tgreat. I woke fully encased in Preston’s arms. We shifted slightly during the night, rolling onto our sides, but Preston still held me close against him.
Preston peppers kisses against my neck and shoulder while he waits for me to get my thoughts together.
Between the long day of travel, the trip to Caracol and the big emotions shared yesterday morning after my social media post, I am exhausted.
“Drained, if I’m being honest.” I decide not to sugar coat it after our conversation yesterday.
“Understandable.” Preston rests his chin on my shoulder. Spinning in his arms, I press my head to his chest. His chin sits on top of my head.
“Did you mean it?” I ask after a few minutes. My heart knows he did but my head still needs the words.
Tugging on my hair, he tilts my chin up so he can see my face. The tenderness in his eyes speaks more than anything when he says, “I mean everything I say to you. But just so I’m clear what you’re asking, which part are you referring to exactly?” I open my mouth to respond, but the words get stuck in my throat. Sensing I need a rescue, Preston continues. “The part where I said that we’re a team?” I nod. “You’re the only team I want to be on.”
“And the other stuff?”
“Which stuff? The part where I said I don’t care what you posted?” Nodding again, he continues before I can say anything. “I give zero shits what you post or who you tell so don’t even second guess that. But what I really think you’re asking…” Preston pauses to kiss my forehead. “Is if I meant that I care about who you are beneath your image and that I’ve fallen for you.”
Swallowing, I close my eyes to center myself. I need to give him the words. He’s given them all to me, I need to be able to give them to him too. Clearing my throat, I open my eyes again and meet his icy blue depths. “Yes, that part. Is this real?”
Heat flares in Preston’s eyes as he takes two steps and backs me against the shower wall. His hands dive into my hair. They are rough and urgent as he manipulates my head to the right position.
“It’s as real as anything I’ve ever experienced in this life,” he rasps against my parted lips before he smashes his mouth against mine. He owns me in this kiss. It’s full of yearning and passion. Preston sears himself on my lips and my soul. I feel him to the tips of my toes and everywhere in between. This kiss can only be described as possessive. Preston takes and takes from my mouth until we are both starved for air.
A ringing phone interrupts before we can take things any further. My phone is still on Do Not Disturb so it must be Preston’s.
“You should probably get that,” I say when it immediately starts ringing again.
“I will. But not before you hear me.” Preston’s thumbs stroke my cheeks from where he still holds my head in his hands. “We are a team. This is real. And, I don’t say anything I don’t mean. Especially not to you. Not ever.” His hard gaze bores into mine. I can feel my heartbeat in my throat. Preston’s phone starts ringing again from the bedroom. He curses under his breath but still doesn’t move. Gripping his forearms, I pull myself onto my tiptoes.
“I hear you. This is real for me too.” I press a kiss to his lips. “I’m good. Go get your phone,” I say, releasing my hold on his arms to push him out of the shower.
Preston reluctantly lets go and jumps out of the shower to wrap a towel around his waist before finding his ringing phone.
