“Optimism is looking good on you, Hollywood.” I lean in and kiss her lips then her neck before burying my face in her shoulder. She smells like the soap and body scrub I bought for her spa day. I inhale the rainwater and coconut scent.
“What can I say? You’ve rubbed off on me.” Thoughts of rubbing on her go straight to my dick.
“Let’s hit the road.”
Ivory is quiet as we start down the Western Highway towards Caracol.
The playlist she created plays over the speakers in the jeep. She looks so beautiful perched in the passenger seat with her hair falling around her face from the wind and the white heart shaped sunglasses covering her eyes. She hums along softly to the radio but she’s closed off. Her arms are crossed over her body and she keeps looking out the window.
“Have you heard anything from Taylor?” There still isn’t word on a flight. The limbo is starting to wear on both of us.
“Not yet, but I’m supposed to talk to her when we get back tonight so hopefully she will have an update by then.” Ivory doesn’t look at me.
“Is that what’s wrong?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re being quiet. Has she given you trouble about your posts?” Ivory has been posting consistently this past week. Nothing of the two of us but enough to share more of herself and our adventures.
“No trouble. The comments have been mostly positive but everyone is wondering where I am and who I am with. There’s a lot of speculation and rumors but there aren’t any pictures of us so you don’t have to worry about being outed.”
Her response takes me off guard. That’s not what I was thinking at all. I don’t care about people knowing I’m with Ivory. My only concern is her safety from prying eyes and negative attention. I’ve never been more thankful for travel restrictions than I am with all this focus on finding Ivory. Luckily, no one here has recognized her and even if people did find out where she was, no one could get into the country to find her.
“I don’t give a damn about being outed with you. I already told you, I would shout it from all the rooftops if you’d let me.”
Ivory slowly lowers her feet from the dash and pulls her knees to her chest. I have no choice but to move my hand back into my lap as she hugs her knees. Something I said really struck a nerve. So much for pulling her out of a funk. But this is something we need to talk about. Turning the volume down, I glance at Ivory doing my best to keep eyes on the road and eyes on her.
“Talk to me, Hollywood. What’s going on?” I thought things were good last night, and even before we left this morning.
Ivory sighs but doesn’t say anything at first. She fidgets in her seat and pushes the hair out of her face where it’s fallen from her bun.
Sighing again, she says, “I don’t know, Pres. I don’t want you to think that I’m hiding you or hiding our relationship. Or that I’m not serious about what this is between us.” I sense a but coming. “But it makes me nervous. I’m only starting to figure out how to let them into my personal life in general. Bringing you into all of it scares me.”
Her anxiety is firing up, making her second guess everything around her again. I can’t help but wonder what triggered it. Was it me saying I was all in? Or was something said on one of her pictures?
“There’s no need to be scared. I can take it. If you’re worriedit’s going to scare me away, that's the furthest thing from the truth.” I try my best to soothe her with my words.
“How do you know that? You haven’t been around the media circus I have. You don’t know what to expect. The pressure that it puts on a relationship. The pressure that it puts on me and you as people. I mean, I can see the headlines now. Plus, you just mentioned how you are itching to get home because of baseball. Things are risky for you with all you have going on with the league as it is. You being out of the country and needing to get back in time. Trying not to lose your spot on the team. I don’t want you to get more pressure than you need, especially if it could affect your game. I don’t want to make it worse for you.”
“That’s nothing you need to worry about. Let me worry about my game. I have people to handle this kind of thing. It’s like I told you. We can’t control what other people say.” Reaching out, I grab her knee. I can’t not touch her during this conversation. “Are you really going to let yourself be unhappy? Because you’re worried about what the media is going to do and what the media is going to say.”
“Of course not!” I raise my eyebrow to call her on her bullshit. It has the intended effect because she backpedals. “Okay, so maybe I have adjusted how I act in public. And what I let people see about my personal life.”
Staring into those beautiful deep green depths, I lay it out for her. “Ivory, it’s not about the attention for me. It’s about you. I’d endure anything for you. I’m serious about you and I’m serious about us. We have to figure out how to navigate this because it doesn’t end for me when we get on a plane back to the States.”
Ivory’s eyes brim with unshed tears. Her throat bobs as she swallows a big gulp. Her lips part like she’s going to say something but the words don’t come out. I don’t press. I don’t pry.
“I’m not trying to pressure you, and if you want to keep this between us for a while longer, then I’m all for that.” Squeezing her knee, I continue bleeding sincerity into my words and hoping she can hear it. “I’m proud of you for opening up topeople and letting them see parts of you now. We don’t have to go blasting our relationship to the masses. Or to anyone. I’m not going anywhere. I’m just letting you know that if you’re worried about me, there’s nothing for you to be worried about. I’m here either way.”
Ivory finally gives in and lowers her legs. My hand slides back up her thigh. She reaches down and squeezes my hand where it rests. I can tell the wheels are spinning in her head before she finally says, “I can live with that. Baby steps, Preston. One day, I’ll tell everyone you’re mine, but for now it’s just us. I want to stay in our bubble a little bit longer.”
Lifting her hand to my lips, I press a kiss to the back of her hand. “I like our little bubble.”
The relief in her smile cuts a little. I hate that she’s always on the defensive. That she isn’t used to people listening to her wants and feelings.
“Can we talk about something else? This is a real downer on car karaoke time.” At least she’s joking now. My girl is strong. I have no doubt we will figure this out.
Laughing at her, I settle my palm back in her lap and turn the volume back up. We sing along to more songs as we continue down the Western Highway passing danger signs and dense forest around us.
