“That’s the thing, I’m not sure. I want to make a difference. I want a change. I just don’t know what that means yet.”
“You’ll figure it out. I have faith in you. If you’re interested, I’ve heard rumblings of actors pulling together to help crew members and others out of work because of the pandemic. There also may be some charitable organizations that you can get involved in. I can look into it.”
“That sounds amazing. Anything I can do, let me know. I’ll look up a few things on my end too.” My platform affords me a lot of luxuries but one of the greatest things it provides me is the opportunity to give back. I love reaching out and helping others, especially underprivileged youth and women. It’s important to me that my brand is used to make an impact and hopefully make a difference in someone’s life.
An idea starts forming. Stories need to be told and if no one else will tell them, maybe I can.
“Be safe, love you.”
“You too.” Dropping the phone on the lounger beside me, I take in the uninhibited beauty of the island. Everything about this place is peaceful, so why do I feel so restless?
April 3
The sun is setting on the third day on our quarantined island. Despite Tay’s pep talk, I stuck to myself all day yesterday and today. Preston cooked and we briefly interacted over meals, but I’ve been in my head on whether we should hang out all the time. To his credit, Preston hasn’t pried. He reads me better than most people I’ve known way longer. It’s refreshing to not feel like I have to defend the way I feel. Or put on any airs to make him feel better.
From the patio chair outside my bedroom, I see Prestonmessing around down by the fire pit. His t-shirt pulls across his back as he moves around chairs and pieces of wood.
I need to get over this weirdness. It’s creating unnecessary tension. Sitting by the fire to watch the sunset sounds nice. In the kitchen, I grab a couple bottles of beer and make my way to the fire pit.
“Good night for a fire.” I roll my eyes at my lame opening.
Preston turns in the Adirondack chair, curiosity in his eyes. Seeing the beers in my hand, he offers a small grin.
“I was hoping you would join me and not hide out in your room for the month.” I pass him a beer, ducking my head.
“Sorry about that. I was feeling a bit out of sorts.”
“I get it. There have been a lot of changes in a short time. I imagine you aren’t used to this sort of thing.”
“This sort of thing?” I raise a brow at him, sitting down in the chair beside him.
“I didn’t mean anything by it. I just meant this whole situation has to be out of your comfort zone.” My brows furrow. “Now I’m making it weird.”
“I think I get what you’re saying. Long Caye is a far cry from a film set.” Smiling, I let him know I don’t take offense.
“Yes, that.” Preston heaves a sigh, reclining back into the chair.
“It’s been an adjustment. That’s for sure. I was thinking about that when I was shopping. It’s been a long time since I actually bought my own clothes. Let alone stepped foot in a store without people crowding me.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. It has to be tough being put on a pedestal like that.”
“You get used to it.” I try to shrug it off but it feels disingenuous.
“It’s still not right. You’ve been under a magnifying glass.” Preston just gets it.
“At least there aren’t paparazzi here. I can finally breathe. Doesn’t stop them from speculating though.”
“What about?” He’s genuinely bewildered. It makes me laugh.
“Today I think it was that I went into hiding after a bender because the studio said I didn’t have what it takes to be a director.”
“That’s stupid. Of course you have what it takes.”
I’m taken aback by his confidence. “How would you know that?”
“You’re more capable than you realize, Ivory Crenshaw. I have no doubt that whatever you set your mind to can be accomplished.”
“I wish others thought that. It took so much effort and many concessions for the studio to green light the project. I didn’t realize it until this trip how much it didn’t feel like mine anymore. Maybe I was asking too much.”
