“What do you mean?”
“You just seem so unbothered. You were told your next flight isn’t for three weeks, but the resort will only let you stay for two weeks. And you just wanted to know if you could still play in the water.” The absurdity of my summary makes me laugh.
Preston chuckles too but doesn’t say anything right away. Instead, he continues to walk taking in the view of the ocean to our right and the resort to our left. We pass more villas and a few land bungalows. Another pool and a dock sits in the distance. Eventually we reach a point on the island signaling the end.
Preston stops, finally looking at me. “It’s not that I’munbothered.” My question must show on my face. “I just—it’s not something I can control, you know?”
“What do you mean?” We turn and retrace our steps back to our side of the island, but I keep my focus on him.
“I mean…the flight is canceled, right?” I nod. “There is a new one scheduled and I’m on it. That’s all I can control.” He shrugs again.
“Yes, but we can only stay here for part of the time. What about that last week? There is nowhere to go!” The panic rises again. Taking a deep breath, I continue. “What about a place to stay?”
“Maybe we get lucky and the flight moves up or the resort can let us stay longer. Those are issues for another day. Today, I have a place to stay and time to figure the rest out.”
“I wish I could be like that.” An uneasy sigh leaves my lips. I feel so out of control.
Preston chuckles. “It wasn’t easy for me to let go of things at first.”
“It wasn’t?” Shocked, I look up at him. His eyes soften at whatever he sees reflected back in my eyes.
“Not at all. I like being in control. I thrive on it. Eventually, I had to learn there are always going to be things outside of my control. I can only control how I react to those things. That’s what matters. Everything else will work itself out.”
He raises his hand like he may reach out to me. My skin prickles in anticipation. Before he can touch me, Preston redirects his hand to his hair, raking his fingers through his blonde locks.
“I never thought of it like that.” I hadn’t, which is ironic. So much of my life and my work has been outside of my control. For longer than most know. It wasn’t my choice to become an actress. For so long, I struggled with being good at something but never feeling fulfilled by it. The media watched me like a hawk. The studio constantly threatened to replace me as ameans to keep me in line. My mother and the team she hired controlled everything else.
Every part of my life was always structured and scheduled, down to the minute sometimes. I never had the chance to stop and breathe. To wonder what to do next or where I had to be. Hell, most of the time I didn’t even have to worry about how to get there. It was a privileged life that I was starting to realize had left me severely unprepared for the real world.
“How did you learn to start letting go?” After college, I started trying to take my power back. I thought I was making progress by booking the primetime drama and convincing the studio to take a chance on my script. Maybe that was why the smallest shift in the plan felt like I had been thrown completely off my axis.
“I can’t really put a finger on it. One day things just felt so out of whack, and my coach told me to focus on what I could control. From then on, it became an exercise. I would ask myself what I could control in a stressful situation. Then I would take note and focus on those pieces. It took a long time for me to be able to let the rest fall to the wayside but once I did, it was very freeing. And oddly, I felt more in control of the things that actually mattered—the things that I could actually control. I don’t know if that makes sense or not. Doubt it helps.”
Reaching out, I grip his forearm. The muscles tense under my palm. His skin is warm to the touch. The familiar jolt pulses at the contact.
“No, it does. I get it.” I try to focus on my words instead of the skin to skin contact. Preston’s eyes drop to my hand. Quickly, I pull it back. My brain is too muddled to bring up the reference to his coach. That recognition from the first night is niggling in the background again.
“So what can you control?”
“Huh?” My head whips up to look at him as we step onto the pier leading to our villas.
“What can you control in this situation? Today?” We don’tknow each other. A walk with small talk is one thing, but digging into the hard stuff was unexpected.
“Um…” Tucking a stray hair behind my ear, I take a moment to think it over. “I can control rebooking a flight and making sure I have a place to stay tonight. I can control what to eat for dinner.” Tay would be in control of the flight but no need to highlight my incompetence again.
“Good.” Preston stops at his walkway, turning to me. “Thanks for the walk.”
“I should be the one thanking you. You helped me calm down.” A small part of me is disappointed this is how we’re leaving the conversation. It was nice talking to him again.
“I’m glad. Have a good night.” Preston smiles and butterflies take flight in my stomach. Preston waits at his door until I am inside my villa again. I can’t deny I like it, nor that I like spending time with him either.
My phone ringing on the bed beside me wakes me up. There are a string of missed texts and calls on the screen.Crap!Barely catching Taylor’s call before it rings out, I answer to an immediate barrage of questions.
“Where have you been? Are you okay? Did something happen? Why haven’t you been answering your phone?” Blowing out a breath, I sit up against the headboard.
“I’m fine. I went for a walk and then must have been more tired than I thought when I got back and fell asleep.” The clock tells me that was two hours ago.
“Geez. You almost gave me a heart attack. The last time we talked, you were working out extending your reservation. Then I couldn’t reach you. My mind was going crazy!”
