“Sorry, but if you won’t say it, I will. For something you’ve been fighting for, for literal years, you settled on mediocre. That’s not you. And not why you set out to do this project. It’s not the real transition you were wanting to make.”
I fall back onto the couch as I put my face in my hands. She’s right. My script was a female focused coming-of-age story, and I wanted a majority female cast and crew. Women did not get the representation or opportunities they rightly deserved in the film industry and I was determined to change that. Somewhere alongthe way, I let the politics of the industry sway my decision making but it wasn’t as bad as she is making it out to be. I was still getting the dream—my name on the credits as writer and director.
“Look, I know this setback is hard and it’s not what you want, but I think it is what you need. You need a break, some time away from work. Time to rediscover who Ivory Crenshaw is and what she really wants.”
“I’m not that lost, Taylor. Sure, I gave up on some things that I originally wanted but that’s the business. Everyone compromises at some point.”
“You’re so stubborn.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“In this case, it is. Take some time for yourself. Go on vacation. Get out of L.A. Do something just for you. When you get back, we can re-evaluate and hit the ground running.”
“You just said the studios are shutting down all projects because of this virus. Do you really think jetting off somewhere is a good idea?”
“I haven’t seen any travel advisories yet.”
Rolling my eyes, I start pacing again.
“I know you can’t see me but I am rolling my eyes at you. That is not reassuring.”
“You’ll be fine.”
“Still not inspiring. Where would I even go?”
“Look at the LAX departures and pick a place.” I can picture her shrugging her shoulders while saying that.
“You know how stressed that makes me. Absolutely not.” The media may call me pampered, but I’m used to structure and a set schedule. Spontaneity is not for me.
“What would not stress you out?” She laughs. My lips purse and eyes narrow at her jab. “What type of vacation would you actually enjoy? Where would you finally relax?”
“A quiet beach without opportunities for the paparazzi to find me would be good.”
“Okay, somewhere secluded. And since it’s still March, somewhere more tropical. The Maldives? St. Barts? St. John? Bahamas?”
“How long are you sending me away? Days, weeks, months?” I chuckle.
“However long it takes!”
“Tay, I love you but if I do this—I am not agreeing, but if I do this—it will be for a week or less, got it? And somewhere on this side of the world in case things go sideways. I want to get back reasonably fast.”
“Ugh, fine. No Maldives then. I’d rather go there with you anyways.”
“What about that resort one of your clients went to last year and raved about. Where was it?”
“Oh, right. Let me check her Insta.”
“I can’t believe I’m entertaining this.” Groaning, I rub the tension in my neck.
“Oh hush, it will be great!” Taylor yells into her phone as she searches Instagram to find the place. “Found it! It was an island in Belize. The property was all-inclusive, luxurious, and private. Let me see if I can find the name.”
A private resort on an island in Belize. It sounded appealing but can I really just drop everything and go on vacation now? All my plans have just fallen apart and Tay’s solution is to disappear and “find myself” again. My work is my identity. I am Hollywood’s sweetheart. The teen star turned series regular with the occasional blockbuster hit.
“There’s a flight that leaves tonight if you’re interested.” Taylor’s sing-song voice pulls me out of my internal debate.
“Seems a bit soon, don’t you think? I haven’t even decided I’m on board with your plan.”
“Well, you better get on board. This is a great plan!”
