“She’s hot,” I say, forcing a smile. The song changes toWhat Are You Doing New Years?as the crowd starts to move onto the icy deck, willing to brave the cold breeze that floats off the harbor in hopes of a fresh start marked by an explosion that’ll obliterate everything they’d rather forget.
“Didn’t notice.”
“Come on,” I say, my breath stuttering as he lifts my chin with a gentle grasp.
“I told you you’re the only woman I’m seeing. I meantthat. I don’t see anyone else, Sloane.” The words burn across my skin, and I think if I could just get to the deck, I’d be able to think straight. “Ifyouwant to kiss someone else tonight, tell me right now and I’ll leave,” he says. I tilt my head, alarm widening my eyes, and I’m sure he’s being dramatic. “I mean it, Sloane. I wantyou.”
“Well, you’ve had me,” I force a chuckle. “Numerous times. Many venues.” The joke doesn’t crack anything in him; instead, his throat bobs, and vulnerability slashes across his face.
“I want more than that,” he says, shaking his head.
“You don’t mean it,” I insist, hearing the loud shouts from the deck.
Thirty, twenty nine, twenty eight…
“I do. Sloane, I…”twenty four, twenty two…“I can’t stop thinking about you. And I’ve tried. It’s no use.”
“You sound stupid,” I mutter, biting back the small smile that curves without my permission.Fifteen, fourteen, thirteen.
“I feel stupid. And I don’t really care. Just…tell me I’m not crazy for feeling like this.” His hand skates to the back of my head, tilting back and toward him like he’s done so often that now, I crave it. My feelings are lodged in my throat, struggling to make themselves lucid and decipherable, but I feel them nevertheless.
Ten, nine…
“I read that play.” It tumbles out of me, unlocked from the safe I’d placed it in when I decided it was something he never needed to know. That I read it and liked it and understood why he’d underlined and starred and creased the pages. That I read it and saw myself reflected in all that waiting. That I read it and wondered if that’s what he saw in it, too.
“Yeah? And?” he asks like the news is bigger than it is, his eyes softening with too much hope.
“I still don’t think this is all pointless. But maybe we can talk about it. Some time.”
Five, four, three…
His sigh of relief, the distance he closes between us, the slight grin that tugs at the corner of his all too perfect lips, send a wave of belonging through me.
“I’d love that,” he tells me.Two…one…“Happy New Year, Sloane,” he says as fire erupts in the sky in the distance, as bells clang and people cheer, as his lips brush against mine and I let him kiss me tenderly, letting the feeling seep into my bones.
30
Andy
January
Stacks of thick hardback books line every corner of Glenn’s office, forming a gradient so dark, the space can only be described as looming. Ian’s been sitting behind our dad’s computer for the past twenty minutes, trying to crack the password of a man who seems to hold no sentimentalities, especially when it comes to cyber security.
“Mother fucker,” Ian groans. A message pixelizes on the machine signaling we are locked out for ten minutes.
“Maybe we should look around. Maybe he wrote it down somewhere?” I try to be helpful but am met with that dead stare he’s given me more than once the past few weeks, wordlessly telling me I’m a moron anytime I open my mouth. It was my idea to go through the office and yet, Ian seems to think he thought of it himself. I considered that maybe we should look through the stark stacks of paperwork splayed on the shelves but Ian insisted that what we were looking for would be locked away, thus—we’re hacking Glenn’s password. “Why am I even here, Ian?” I huff out, raking my hand through my hair.
“Moral support?” he shrugs, absentmindedly playing with a Rubik's cube sitting near the computer.
“You ever solve one of those?” I nod toward the cube he’s spinning in a direction that will get him no closer to completing it.
“No. I didn’t realize that was something peopleactuallydo.” He lets out that sardonic laugh of his and I snatch the cube from his hands.
“You know—” I smirk, sliding the squares into their correct place, “you might have more friends if you weren’t so snobby.”
“Who needs friends when I have such an amazing half brother?” He smirks sarcastically back and relaxes into the rolling chair just as the final square locks into place. The cube shifts in my grasp and I realize the completion of the puzzle unlocked some part of it. He sees the cube shift, too, the top of it opening just slightly to reveal that it isn’t just a normal Rubik’s cube, but a box. Both our eyes widen simultaneously. “Looks like you and dear old dad have more in common than we thought.” He jumps to his feet. “Don’t just stare, Andy. Open it.”
I hold back a grimace, cracking the small box open, revealing a thumb drive and a small silver key that looks like it belongs to a?—
