Relief washes over me, and I can almost see my point of entry. “Thank?—”
“But I’m serious about Connie. Leave me out of it.”
And just like that, it closes.Hecloses up, just like I knew he would. Shoulders squared he shakes his head, frowning. He can’t even begin to see how much his grudge is eating at him. Some selfish part of me wants to just tell him about her cancer. Let his stubborn rationality try to metabolize that.
“One day she won’t be here. And that guilt will keep eatin’ you alive,” I tell him, instead, biting the inside of my cheek until that familiar metallic taste clouds my senses.
“I don’t feel guilty. That is just…not my life anymore, Sloane.” He plants his hands on the counter, glancing down distractedly. “If you’re gonna stay here, it’s on my terms.”
“And they are?” I cross my arms, trying to school my breath.
“One—you’ll drop the Connie shit.” It’s a non-starter, but this is going nowhere. I need to wear him down slowly, over time.
So I shrug one shoulder, rolling my eyes. “Sure,” I lie. “Two?”
“No parties in my house.”
I scoff. “Who do you think Iam?”
“My sister. Which is why I hate that thiseven has to be a rule, but three,” he pauses, raising his brows, “no sleeping with my teammates.”
My jaw drops from the sheer audacity. “How we’re related is sometimes beyond me. Who cares who I sleep with?”
“Me. I do. The team’s already been thrown through a loop with Ben comin’ back. The last thing they need is any of your chaos.”
I still, blinking furiously to staunch the tears that press behind my eyes.
“That’s it. I won’t tip off Beau or Evie, will let you crash in my spare room—just follow my rules. Please.”
I inhale deeply, exhaling as I let my eyes shut, knowing I don’t have any choice in the matter. “Your turf, your rules, I guess.”
“Great.” A genuine smile spreads across his face, and I wonder just how good the dopamine rush of control feels for him, and just how painful it feels when he loses it. How painful it will be, eventually. The thought twists like a dagger in my own heart because I love my brother, and I hate that he’s like this. I hate that I couldn’t just run here and share everything with him, that he’s so in denial about his own fragility that he’s created a bubble that he thinks will shield him forever.
But then I remember Gen, and the pain subsides.
“Is a certain ballerina off limits, though? Because I have a million ideas about?—”
His hand flies up, eyes shutting hard as a blush overcomes the face that so reminds me of my own. “I will let you know. If I need…advice. Or whatever.”
My own smile is sheepish as I try to catch his gaze. “Sure. Just know, I like her. A lot. She’ll be good for you.” His eyes tip back as he shakes his head, walking out the door. “I have a sense about these things!” I call after him with forced playfulness,tipping the pot into the reservoir and flicking the machine to life.
Coffee slowly drips into the pot, unhurried by my migraine or fatigue, and I wish I had all the time in the world, because then I’d do everything I needed and wanted to do. And everything I’d ever done wrong, I’d do right.
3
Andy
The palms of my hands burn as I grip the bar, pulling my chin just over it.
“Twenty,” I say, not letting my voice waver. I let myself drop to the floor, pulling down the towel hanging on one of the lower pull up bars, roughly using it to wipe the sweat off my face. My eyes catch on the glow of my phone screen, whereDADhas apparently texted me. I know what he wants to know: how Will’s handling Ben’s reappearance. He hasn’t explicitly told me Ben’s a problem, but it’s clear. And of course, he’ll use me to manage it. I ignore it, sniffing as I roll my neck, deciding he can wait.
The weight room is empty today, just Will, Josiah and Scott. Josiah’s over near the mirrors, taking more photos of himself lifting free weights than actually working out. Will and Scott, on the other hand, are by the bench press, where Will’s spotting him.
“Jesus, Scott. You really are just a bitch boy, huh?” Will grins as Scott struggles to lift the bar back on to the rack, his face red as his arms shake. I sigh, walking over for an assist,pulling the bar onto the rack for him, and Will rolls his eyes. “He had that man.”
Scott doesn’t look too pleased either. “Yeah, what the fuck? I had it,” he pants, wiping his own towel across the back of his neck.
“Right…is that why you looked like you were about to pop an artery?” I chuckle, snapping my towel at Scott’s arm. Will swats the back of his head.
