“My brother,” he answers for me, raising his eyebrows.
“Yeah man, I don’t know…her thing with Will?—”
“Was complicated,” he cuts me off, and I let out a sarcastic laugh.
“You could say that.”
“Keywordwas.She hasn’t really talked about it but from what I gather, she didn’t just end her decade-long crush. She ended their friendship,” Olivia chimes in from the backseat and I glance at Ben. I can tell that it bothers him, that Gen was, at one point, like a member of his family and that the worry for his brother is reminiscent of the year he left Astor. The year Lily died.
I pull into the first spot I see when we get to Vida’s, a heavy silence falling over the car until Ben finally meets my eyes, his expression frank. “Look man, I’m not going to tell you what to do. But it’s obvious that you both are in love with each other. Youcanfix it. And you should.”
“Here, here!” Olivia cheers from the back. “Now can we please get some food. I’m famished.”
34
Gen
The rhythmic jingle of bells sounds throughout the mall Jean begged us to stop at, and notes of butter and cinnamon invade our senses as we pass the pretzel shop. Liv’s still pouting, upset that her outdoor market didn’t win in rock, paper, scissors, despite the obscene amount of bags hanging off her arm.
“If the market’s closed by the time we get there,” she warns. “I’m going to find a way to curse you, Jean. Can I have my phone back, please?”
I quickly retrieve it from my crossbody bag, where I placed it after swiping it off the counter in the last store. I’m not really shopping anyway—my mother sends me links to the things she wants, and the only other person I usually shop for is Will, but I haven’t spoken to him since the night everything fell apart. I offer a small smile to the leggy brunette as I extend the phone to her, confused by the pitied expression on her face. “What?”
“Do you want arealbag for Christmas? I mean, what is this?” She waves her hand over my bag, her fingertipssounding against the lavender nylon. I take a step back, glancing down at the reliable, simple pouch with furrowed brows.
“It’s Lululemon?” I offer, eyeing the stiff bag hanging off her shoulder.
“Not everyone’s a luxury girl, Olivia,” Jean chimes in, smirking as he gives my bag an assessing glance.
“But what can you even fit in there?” Liv murmurs, taking a sudden, sharp turn into a candle shop. “You know what this is though, right?” She shoves a tiny version of the overpriced candles peppered throughout my mother’s home under my nose, and the scent makes my stomach churn.
“Yes, Olivia—I’ve been to a Bergdorf’s,” I tease and she laughs, wafting a woodsy scented one my way, and it reminds me of Grant.
“In recent history or…?” Jean spins around the candle display, sniffing a dark cylinder to obscure the coy grin on his lips.
“He’s funny,” Liv tells me earnestly, and Jean loops his arm through hers, tugging them both toward the perfumes. I was hesitant to go through with today after Sloane cancelled last night; I’d been hoping she would act as a buffer between Liv and Jean, especially since Liv’s only experiences with him have been through Ian, who she’snoton good terms with.
But as I watch them spritz too much fragrance on one tester strip after another, eyes wide as the other nods their agreement or cringes their disapproval, I’m not sure what I was so worried about.
I snag the candle Olivia had, intent on smelling the closest thing to the man I’ve been missing for just a moment longer and consider buying it before deciding it’s theopposite of what I should be doing right now—forgetting about him.
You can bring a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink—or however the stupid saying goes. Even if the horse is parched, even if you need the horse to drink the damn water so you can both finally find your way out of the dark wood, you can’t force the water down their throat.
I breathe in the candle one last time before setting it down, Liv and Jean rejoining me at the front with a new set of shopping bags in their hands.
“You guys need a literal trolley,” I tell him, uncertain how they aren’t losing circulation in their arms.
“What weneedis to go back to the car and to my market.” Olivia cuts Jean a playfully sinister glare. “I told Ben I would get him an advent calendar.”
“Wow—you guys are an elderly couple already. Brava.” Jean’s hands clap in a tiny, mocking motion. “At least one of us will be having asteamyholiday,” he adds, rolling his eyes at himself.
“So is it like…done, done this time?” I cautiously ask him. I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t be bothered if they got back together, but it’s his life, I guess.
“Uh…absofuckinglutely. Running that shit about someone he claimed was his friend,” he looks at Liv, “—unforgivable. Like, he just is a shitty person and I can’t ignore it anymore,” he insists, despite the sadness lingering behind his gaze. “You guys arerealpeople. He takes his whole “eat the rich” shit too far.”
Liv and I say nothing, even though we’ve all stopped walking and are leaning against a glossy, white wall.
“Besides,” he continues, standing up a little taller, “we’re both graduating soon. And if he’s making a careerout of this…I just kind of expected him to grow out of being agossipcolumnist.”
