“Olivi-uuuuuuhhhhhh,” an unfortunately familiar voice repeats, and I’m suddenly aware of the late autumn sun beating on my face. I blink back into my awareness, surprised to find Genevieve Dupont staring nervously at my face. My hand flies to my eyes, my brow, my chin, my cheek, but I feel nothing.
“What?” I snap, groggily, reaching for my laptop so that I can stuff it into my bag. I came out to the quad so that Iwouldn’tfall asleep as I researched in the library, but I guess the sleep deprivation finally won over.
I’ve laid in bed rather than answer any of Ian’s calls over the past week, but I haven’t been sleeping. I either replay my time with Ben, these years with Will, or the last few months with Lily over and over again. Because of this, deep, restful sleep has eluded me as of late. This spontaneous nap on the lawnwas definitely not planned, considering I can already feel a burn across the bridge of my nose due to my lack of sunscreen.
“Do you usually take naps on the lawn?” Gen quips, her delicate nose crinkled in tempered disgust. Her usual sneer is nowhere to be found, and I feel my brows furrow in confusion.
Clearing my throat I grab my bag and stand, squinting as the setting sun begins to invade my field of vision. My eyes focus on Gen, her lithe frame contorted in apprehension. Her arms are crossed across her chest, her mini skirt-clad legs crossed at the calves, cheeks sucked in— the air around us suddenly feels thick with unease.
“What do you want, Genevieve?” I ask disinterestedly, feeling my heart thud heavily in my chest.Did Ben ask her to talk to me? Did Will?I ask myself, willing my heart to stop clamoring. “Come to tell me something Idon’twant to know?” I ask, bitterness coating my throat.
Rolling her eyes Gen moves toward me, looping one willowy arm around mine. “No. I’ve come totalk. Let’s walk,” she commands, pulling me up and leading us toward the entrance of the campus gardens. I tug myself in the opposite direction, but she only continues toward the garden, me in tow. “Maybe if you didn’t treat me like an invasive species, we wouldn’t have to do this,” she murmurs, mostly to herself, but I hear her all the same.Maybe if she didn’t act like one, the treatment wouldn’t be necessary.
Taking in her profile, I consider, for only the second time, that Genevieve Dupont is beautiful. The usual harshness of her face, accentuated by the disdainful sneer she typically wears in my presence, is nowhere to be found. What is left is still the making of a queen, brilliant in the way a diamond might be. Fierce, deep brown curls frame her face in a way that seems to coax you into looking into her eyes, eyes that, I’m realizing, are ablaze. The soft brown twines with a melted gold whenthe sun hits her. There’s even some deep green flecked in. Her legs are long and her golden brown skin seems to accentuate her lithe frame. I blink rapidly, attempting to shake off this new perception. She’s still Gen, gorgeous or not. The girl who’s wedged herself between Will and I at every turn.Will. The trance wears off as soon as I remember why, most likely, we’re having a talk to begin with.
“Gen, I truly have no interest in speaking to you… ever. It’s strange you haven’t realized that yet,” I taunt, shaking her arm off me. We’ve reached a secluded part of the gardens, directly off the Botany Department’s small brick building. Ivy winds its way up the four arches that surround us. The massive magnolia trees have started to yellow, the leaves beginning to litter the floor beneath us. Gen moves to sit on a bench, shooting me a pointed look rather than responding to my barb. She takes a deep breath, looking to the sky before resting her gaze back on me.
“Olivia, please. Can we just get over whatever this is?”
“Whateverwhatis?” She gestures between us. “Oh, you mean the past few years where you’ve blatantly disrespected me and attempted to steal my boyfriend?” I cross my arms and Gen rolls her eyes dramatically, finally plopping down on the bench beside us.
“Well, look how well that's worked out for me.” She stretches out her arms looking around as if to ask if I see Will anywhere. “Look, I know we’ve had our… issues, but I really am trying to turn over a new leaf. Besides I think things have worked out rather well for you,” she says pointedly, eyeing me. I scrunch my brows together trying to gauge exactly how much she knows.
“Don’t look so surprised Liv,everyoneknows. It’s not like you and Ben were discreet.”
I finally give in, sitting next to her on the bench, leaving about a foot between us. “If this is about Will, I don’t want to hear it.”
“Yes, you do,” she says, turning to face me fully. “Because it’s also about Lily.”
My stomach lurches at the mention of her name, and I feel myself contort in confusion.
“I’ve been selectively dishonest with you, and I’m trying to fix that,” she says, almost begrudgingly.
“Why?” I squint in suspicion. I may not be a good person, but I suspect Gen is worse.
“Oh my god, Liv. Can’t you just let me atone?” she snaps, irritated, before cocking her head in surrender. “I know you saw me on Halloween and yet, you didn’t say anything.” She purses her lips, tilting her head as if thinking something over. “I want to be someone he deserves.” She looks at me and, for not the first time, I feel like I’m seeing another side of her, one I don’t think many even know exists.
I roll my lips together ultimately deciding to trust her. “Alright, tell me.”
“I want to tell you how I knew Lily… and Will.”
I blink, confused. Because I know how they all knew each other.
“I didn’t meet her at orientation. And Will didn’t meet her at that party…” she trails off, clearly second guessing her decision to tell me this by the way she avoids my eye contact. “Will and I met her in June. At a party… in the Hamptons.”
I shake my head, not comprehending. “We never met you guys at a party that summer.” My mind instantly goes to Ben and the secret he’s been keeping from me all this time. “I would’ve recognized you at school.”
“You weren’t at the party, Liv… it was just Lily,” she clarifies, nervously. Her usual sneer is still nowhere to be found, and I know she's not lying.
Still, this doesn’t make any sense to me. Lily and I spent the entire summer before college together, even forgoing our usual,separate, family vacations. We were inseparable, just like we always had been.
Except when we weren’t.
I bat the thought away. Lily was my best friend. Maybe she had been more aloof that summer, maybe she had snuck back into my room or hers at bizarre hours of the night… but we were growing up. It was time we had a little separateness as we grew out of teenage hood and into adulthood.
“My mom thinks it's good for us to spend some time apart every now and then. We can’t be attached like this at Astor… we’re maturing, Livy. Don’t be weird,”she’d assured me when I asked her if something was wrong.
It was the third time I’d caught her tiptoeing back into my room at 3 a.m.. I didn’t mention it when it happened the fourth time, or the fifth… I stopped keeping track. Because this was a normal part of growing up. We could both do our own thing every once in a while. I didn’t think she would have an entire secret relationship behind my back. My mind circles back to the memory of her saying she was going to a beach bonfire to dump someone. Was that someone Ben?
