Her eyes brim with tears. I can’t tell right away if I said something wrong, but the way she seems to be absorbing my words tells me she needed to hear that. I wipe the tears away from her cheek, brushing a kiss over her forehead so slightly that it barely resonates and let my body do what it needs to by embracing her.
“I’m sorry if that was the wrong thing to say,” my voice comes out, almost a whisper my head sitting on top of hers.
“That was the perfect thing to say,” she says into my chest.
I pull back peering into the dark orbs that haunt my dreams and give her the faintest hint of a smile. There's a gleam in her eyes, as if she’s daring me to make the next move. I move ever the slightest bit closer, the alcohol fueling my bravery. She tilts her head up slightly, almost an invitation. I’m just about to move in when I feel a massive hand on my back. I close my eyes, taking my hands off the girl of my dreams, the girl I was so close to finally kissing, and catch Grant’s head tilt and brows furrow as if to say“Are you insane?”
“Where have you two been?” Grant’s deep voice has some levity but in a way that says he’s not going to ask any questions and continue looking the blind eye.
I take a step backward realizing I'm still way too close to Olivia for Grant to even attempt to pretend he doesn’t know what’s going on. My mind is reeling, with what that could have turned into, what that would’ve meant for my relationship with Will and the truth I ultimately failed to expose. Olivia quickly tries to recover, rubbing at her flushed neck but I catch the look she gives me with a ghost of a smile.
“The real question is where have you been, Grant? I definitely would have seen you towering over this crowd,” Olivia says, cocking her head to the patrons scattered around the balcony. There are very few, none even looking our way, most being our more elderly donors.
“It’s a secret,” Grant says, almost giddy, smiling from ear to ear.
“A secret, huh…?” Olivia grins at Grant, poking his abs playfully. I’ve noticed she acts differently around him, more open, the way she’s been acting with me all night. I wish she let more people see her like this.
“Does someone have a secret girlfriend?” Olivia asks in a sing-song voice, one eyebrow raised.
Grant turns beet red for a minute. “A man can dream,” he says, his expression almost wistful. I clap my palm over his shoulder.
“Alright loverboy, who is it?” I scan the crowd.
“Like I said, it’s a secret,” Grant says again, a sly smile on his face now. “Besides, what are you two doing over here all alone?” He raises a knowing brow.
I pointedly look at Olivia, signifying the ball is in her court with this line of questioning and I notice her expression has changed, her lips in a tight line. Her eyes seem almost panickedbut it’s apparent she’s trying to reign it in. I’m just about to ask if she’s alright when I feel a presence approaching behind me.
“I should’ve known I’d find you over here withhim. Is this why you wanted a break?” I hear my brother slur, grabbing Olivia around her waist as he pushes past Grant and I, giving me a look of disgust. I instantly feel the guilt crash into my stomach. Olivia does too, apparently, as she won’t meet my gaze, but it’s mixed with something like fury, her jaw clenched and her posture rigid.
The environment shifts and I watch as Olivia’s walls slide back up, completely closing herself off to all of us and becoming that impenetrable fortress I was first met with. Her dainty hand grabs his fingers, pulling them off her waist and dropping them with disgust.
“Thisis not why I wanted a break,” she gestures to Grant and I in a hushed tone. “Thishowever,” her hands gesture at him and he pushes them away. “You are full of shit.”
His voice is all venom and I take a step forward, the blood flooding my ears.
“You thought you could end things with me and I wouldn’t move on?” he says through gritted teeth.
“Take it easy man. Don’t make a scene,” Grant puts a hand on Will's shoulder trying to pull him back from Olivia and Will shoves him off. His eyes are dark as he shoots Grant a glare.
“Touch me again and the scene I will make will ruin both of our careers.” My brother is serious and Grant and I both know it.
Olivia’s eyes meet mine full of emotion. My ears are ringing now and I feel my hands form fists, every muscle in my arms tensing.
“And you,” Will sneers, his drunk face morphing into someone I barely know and yet am all too familiar with, as his glare redirects to me.
“If you want to fuck her so bad, do it.” He nudges Olivia forward into my chest. “Take my sloppy seconds bro, please I’m begging you. Heads up though man, she’s a lousy liaranda lousy lay. That’s why I have to fuck cocktail waitresses in coat closets whenever I get the chance.”
Without thinking I move, my fist meeting Will’s face with such force it causes him to fall backward into a cocktail table, knocking it and himself over onto the floor. I move to hit him again when Olivia stops me. I feel her hands on my chest and she’s yelling something, but I can barely hear her, just see her eyes so full of tears waiting to fall. My stomach bottoms out and all I hear is the blood rushing through my veins until finally I hear her.
“BEN, STOP.”
20
Olivia
Will’s face is gushing blood as I push Ben away from him. I’ve seen Will angry before, but the fury that is Benjamin Cabot in this moment is not even comparable. All eyes are on us as other donors have filtered onto our balcony to see what is going on. My voice has gone hoarse with each shout. It’s like he can’t hear me, that or he doesn’t want to.
“BEN, STOP,” I scream, right into his face this time, and finally he sees me. His eyes meet mine and his gaze moves through emotions so quickly it’s hard to keep track of how he’s feeling. I feel the whispers of my peers like hail on my back.
