“Olivia, it was EPIC,” Andy interjects, his voice comically exaggerated. “We were literally tied when?—”
“Can we not talk about him?” Will cuts in, ever the commanding captain. Gen gives him a sympathetic smile and I roll my eyes for what feels like the tenth time this evening.
“You were tied when what?” I urge Andy to continue, ignoring Will.
“Ben steals the—” Andy tries to explain.
“Olivia, are you fucking deaf? I said drop it,” he snaps at me, his voice dripping with contempt.
“Hey, you really can’t just call people deaf anymore…” Scott speaks up as Grant abruptly slides out of the booth.
“I’m getting a drink. Gen— do you want to join me?” The whole table gets quiet, clearly confused at Grant’s invitation.
“I’m good?” She gives Will a pointed glance suggesting she’s just as confused as the rest of us. Grant clenches his jaw, his posture faltering as he makes his way to the bar without another word.
I grab the fresh gin and tonic sitting in front of me, downing it in one gulp, while the rest of the table awkwardly resumes the conversation, Will and Gen laughing at Grant’s expense quietly to my left. I grab my phone and scroll through my conversations until I find the one I’m looking for.
Fuck it.
Hi
I type, hitting send before my prefrontal cortex can chime in and click my screen off, placing it screen side down on the table. I know this is probably petty and definitely immature, but I’m doing it all the same. When I see the edges of my phone light up not ten seconds later, I quickly retrieve it.
Ben
Already have your thoughts together?
Lol no. Still baking.
Ben
Ah— so you miss me already?
A rush of adrenaline courses through me as I consider what to say, the gin definitely clouding my judgment. I take a steadying breath.
Not at all. I was just wondering where you got your sheets.
Gen’s, unfortunately, melodic laughter floats past me as Will lets out a chuckle.
“Okay, but youhaveto tell Andy about that time we went crab hunting and you literally piss—” Will cuts her off with the drunken wave of his hand, completely unaware that I’m even still here.
“Enough, enough! It’s bad enough you’ve seen me like that. I don’t need everyone here to have a mental picture of it.” His laugh is infectious and carefree, and I can’t help but think about how I rarely hear it like that.
“Okay, but Ben was definitely worse.” Her face speaks volumes. It says the time she’s recalling was a good one; that it involved Ben, and Will, and her, and it was happy; that she is privy to a time and space I probably never will be.
“Yeah,” Will says, distantly.
“It was good once. It could be like that again.” Her shrug seems noncommittal, but I’d know that scheming glance anywhere. “Maybe give him a chance to prove you wrong.”
“Not really looking to give him anything, Gen.” His smile goes taut before relaxing for her benefit. “But thanks.” He grabs my hand, kissing it gently in a way that isn’t directed at me but instead as a jab to Gen, probably for bringing up a subject she knows he’s uncomfortable with. Gen’s expression immediately changes, her eyes pained and her smile flattening into a shell of what it was just moments before, and I realize I feel sympathy for her and anger blooming inside me toward Will.
I mostly believe Will when he tells me there’s nothing going on with Gen, that they’ve just been friends for as long as he can remember, but when I have a front row seat to this— the fruits of an obviously deep rooted friendship— I can’t help but feel like I’ve been deprived of something special with Will. The more I sit in that feeling though, I realize that I’m not jealous of her… I’m jealous of them. Gen obviously wants something more, but I would kill to have a friendship like that again.
She sighs, shifting the conversation to Scott’s date who, apparently, is from California. Riveting. Grant finally slides back into the booth, a proverbial rain cloud over his head.
I release the breath I was unwittingly holding, checking my phone.
Ben
