“And how’s that?” she says crossing her arms over her ample chest.
“Well you saw him today, didn’t you?” I look down at her, letting myself fully assess her body. I smile when she notices, her face flushing harder than before as she shifts uncomfortably.
“Obviously,” she hisses. Her anger grips at my heart in an unhealthy way, her tense face consuming me.
“If he hit me, you wouldn’t have.” For a second I see her anger dissipate, biting her lip and looking up at me like she’s assessing me for the first time. Luckily, before I start shifting uncomfortably underherentrancing gaze, I hear my name chanted across the hall.
“Cabot, Cabot, Cabot,” three of my fellow teammates approach behind me. One of them, Andrew Spellman, throws his arm around my neck jostling me a bit. My eyes don’t leave Olivia’s.
“Ben the Bogart,” Andrew croons, “I forgot to ask when you were in the locker room, but are you comin’ to the bonfiretonight? The whole team will be there, and now that you’re a Lion again you’re obliged.”
My eyes search Olivia’s for any hint of excitement. Instead, I’m met with impenetrable darkness.
“You’re back on the team?” Her eyebrows raise with interest.
“He’s back baby,” Andrew sings, patting me hard on the back. “Will better watch out because what Ben wants Ben gets. We don’t call him Bogart for nothing.” He gives a pointed wink to Olivia and I feel my jaw tense. I know Andy’s good natured but I don’t want Olivia to see the version of me he is referencing. The part left in the past.
I shake Andrew off, finally breaking my gaze from Olivia who seems to be studying me more intensely now. “Give me a minute, will you?” I grumble.
Andrew throws his hands up in defense. “Again, what Ben wants Ben gets,” he states, backing up and shooting yet another wink over my shoulder to the beautiful girl scouring me with her dark impenetrable gaze.
I turn to her, dropping my shoulders in an attempt to look relaxed… vulnerable. “Look, I haven’t told Will yet. Could you keep this between us, at least until I talk to him tonight?” Her eyes continue to scour mine but I see a smile form at the upper right peak of her mouth.
She clasps her manicured hand onto my shoulder looking directly into my eyes. “I guess I’ll give him my goodbyes.” I look back quizzically, raising an eyebrow. Giving me a playful exaggerated pout and then turning it into a demure grin, she pushes past me. “Well he’s definitely going to hit you now.” Again the brush against my shoulder makes my entire body tingle with need.
I turn watching her hips wrapped in that tiny tennis skirt swing. She walks a couple feet tossing her dark chestnut locks,and looks over her shoulder, the glint in her eye letting me know that she’s won the argument she set out for.
“Bye Ben, thebogart, was it?” she taunts, her voice electric.
The fire is huge by the time I arrive at the party and the air is filled with a thick smoke that fills my lungs. Instantly, I’m aware that the police will at some point arrive tonight as I make my way through the yard that is mostly dirt and sand, with small patches of grass scattered throughout.
I’ve been to a lot of parties but somehow these bonfires seem to get bigger every year. There have to be two hundred of my peers in attendance and again I’m shocked by how many recognize me. I was used to this when I was at Astor a few years ago but right now, it feels strange. Like I’m posing as someone I’m not. A school’s basketball star without a care in the world, yet in reality I go to therapy twice a week and have to count my breathing anytime something gives me even a twinge of anxiety.
I approach the team who are grouped around the fire with their various girlfriends and groupies. In the center of the crowd is Will and Olivia. Seeing them from afar, it’s clear why they would be together. Will, the classic golden boy, and Olivia… well Olivia would compliment anyone. It’s hard to think straight when looking at her and I feel myself shift my gaze. Immediately I feel intimidated, as if the crowd didn’t part for me like the red sea when I arrived. I used to run this school and even now I hear the giggling of a group of girls closely following.
I turn and meet the eyes of the redhead in my women’s lit class with a blonde and brunette clamoring at her side. In a past life I would’ve seen the three of them as a total score, but tonight I just feel tired, already knowing I’m going to kindly pass. It’s notthat she isn’t extremely attractive— she is; her freckles contrast with some of the fairest skin I’ve ever seen and her red hair is thick and long, glorious even. Her pink top is clinging to her tightly, exposing both her cleavage and her midriff. Some would consider her beautiful. Even so I feel my gaze go cold in their direction, although the three of them seem oblivious to what I hoped was clear rejection in my eyes.
The brunette shrieks, “Oh my god Sara, he’s looking right at you!”
I turn forward letting my eyes privately roll. When I refocus I’m met with an amused smirk that ties me in knots and a face that Sara’s doesn’t stand a chance against. Olivia’s.
As I approach, I hear Andrew call out to me.
“Hey Ben, don’t look now but the ultimate threesome is behind you!”
I furrow my brows in frustration. Olivia’s eyes cast an intense glower at the girls following, her interest piqued. I can almost hear Sara’s audible gulp. She must notice Olivia’s face too. The entire team turns toward me expectantly as I make my final stride into the inner circle. I can feel Olivia’s gaze on my skin, assessing me carelessly considering Will is at her side.
“Interesting you decided to show up considering this event is for the basketball team.” Will is seemingly trying to impress the girls surrounding him on both sides, and to his benefit Gen does seem impressed, her shoulders shaking in quiet laughter. Olivia on the other hand seems irritated.
“There’s over a hundred people here— it seems word got out babe.” She rolls her eyes. I feel my stomach twist, at the awareness that she’s defending me. Her eyes again wander to the girls hovering about twenty paces behind me and I witness her delicate hands curl into small fists at her side. Instantly, her jealousy turns me on as I watch her glower in frustration.
My interest is interrupted by Grant’s buoyant laughter.
“He knows it’s an event for the team Will, that’s why he’s here.” My stare snaps from Olivia to Will as her eyes move from Sara to me.
“And how the fuck does that make sense?” Will spits at Grant. His rage is clear as his entire frame tenses. I catch Grant realize his mistake as he looks between me and my brother. His voice goes small in a way that’s almost comical for such a giant specimen.
“I… I thought you knew Ben was back on the team, man.” Will huffs loudly as he realizes that the entire team is now staring at him due to his outburst. He takes a step toward me. His hot breath comes out in short spurts of anger as he tries to regain his composure.
