1
Olivia
Two years ago
I force a smile as I look across the crowd of people clasping their red cups, and watch Lily. The air is warm and the music is slightly too loud, but there’s a buzz of excitement, particularly from the incoming freshmen. I can’t lie—I feel it too— and so do the other underclassmen trying to get my best friend's attention. I’ve always admired her patience when crowded by people wanting to absorb her magnitude, the way she radiates goodness and light, all golden curls and soft smiles. In our sixteen years of friendship, I’ve never seen Lillian Newhouse want for anything, whether it be boys or friends. Things always seem to work out for her. She’s poised like a first lady, if the first lady looked like a starlet with great taste. Her aura in general makes it easy for her to fit into the crowd at Astor Hill, the private liberal arts college known to the masses for its Division 1 basketball teamandthe elite, moneyed families who ship their adult children there every fall.
I feel a pang of jealousy as I observe Lily shifting her Chanel double flap over her jean jacket covered in patches of herfavorite things, from a random song lyric to the number thirty-two, which she declared was lucky this past summer. The feeling quickly dissolves when my friend finally seems to notice me. We have a way of communicating that’s so unspoken it feels like we’re reading each other’s minds. She slides her hand up the strap of her bag, tucking her hair behind her ear signaling that she needs an out.
I start to make my way over, immediately noticing William Chapman standing directly behind Lily, as if he’s protecting her from the mob of desperation. Again, a surge of jealousy rises in my stomach.They had to have met in the last fifteen minutes, I think in an attempt to satiate my need to be the prettiest, the smartest, the best. I don’t really know Will apart from the eavesdropping Lily and I did on a few upperclassmen girls in our dorm's bathroom the night before.
“Did you hear about the younger brother joining us this year, ladies?”
“You’re kidding, there’s a brother? How God has blessed us with another man from that family is beyond me.”
“I am forever and always team Ben.”
“You must not have seen Will yet.”
The jealousy dissolves as I remember Lily letting out a loud huff after the snickering girls departed. Lily is beautiful and fragile, the perfect girl for an alpha male to set his sights on, yet she claims she’s no longer interested in “popular jocks.”
“I want a man of substance,” she had said sprawled on the floor of my parent’s beach house, frustrated with the lack of summer conquests the year prior, “not just a boy who can throw a ball and open a beer.”
As I approach the inner circle of the crowd, I immediately feel self-conscious of my height. Even in flats, my 5’8” body towers over Lily’s petite 5’4” frame, her delicate features and porcelain skin even prettier up close.
“Oh… hey,” Will clears his throat, and I can’t tell if he’s nervous about meeting his new conquest’s best friend or upset by my interruption.
I choose to ignore him, as is my way when I feel nervous. My father, a big-shot lawyer, told me at age six, “If anyone ever intimidates you- make them feel small.” I like to think of that as my origin story.
“Look what the cat dragged in,” Genevieve, Lily’s new friend and the current bane of my existence, mutters. Lily apparently met the interloper at her orientation, which was scheduled the day before mine. Clearly, they got rather close because over the past week I’ve walked into countless hushed conversations that came to an abrupt stop the moment I was spotted, Gen fleeing the scene like I’m scum she can’t bear to talk to. The only way I can even think to describe Genevieve is pointy, from her personality to her lanky frame. She’s all bones and no feelings.
I send her my signature smirk— the one that says without saying, I’m sorry but, do I know you?
“Jessica, right?” I say, allowing my face to take on a friendly demeanor, wanting her to buy how unimportant I think she is.
“It’s Gen. We’ve met multiple times,” she says with a sneer, a blush spreading across her face. To be forgotten in front of Will Chapman must really have hurt her pride. I have never seen someone’s cheeks turn that particular shade of crimson.
I finally give myself a moment to take in the towering male to my right. He’s tall, probably 6’2”, which I guess is necessary considering he is a basketball player. His dirty blonde pushed-back waves look effortless, but too perfect to be accidental. With blistering green eyes, he smells like only a boy could: Tide, salt, and some drugstore deodorant I can’t quite remember the name of. He looks over my shoulder and I realize he’s making eye contact with someone. I turn around to check but whoever it was must’ve been on their way out.
“Livy, your cup is completely empty. Now that just won’t do.” Lily gives a tsk tsk, indicating this is apparently her escape plan.
“You’ll have to excuse us, we plan on enjoying our last night before classes begin,” I say, pointedly glaring at Gen.
“Mind if I tag along?” Will asks as he slides his long arms over Lily and I’s shoulders.
“Thanks, but I think we can handle this. Why don’t we catch up later?” Lily is nothing if not always polite, even though I can tell this Will guy is making her skin crawl. It’s hard to imagine why.
Simply put, Will is one of the most attractive men I have ever seen, much less spoken to. It dawns on me that Lily might be avoiding his advances for my benefit, thinking back to my college vision board, plastered with pictures of attractive men and homecoming crowns. Lily refused to partake, claiming it was childish to plan out your year via magazine cutouts.
“It’s cute— your quest to be the most popular girl in college. I thought college was the time to stop caring about that,”Lily had chided, picking at her cuticles that day.
“That’s easy for you to say. Weren’t you prom queen, homecoming queen, class president— shall I go on?”I’d teased.
“I’m excited to escape those titles Liv, not continue them.”She seemed to zone out after this, almost like she was lost in the memory of her high school self. I’d rolled my eyes and continued cutting out the abs of the Calvin Klein model.
Looping her arm through mine, she uses her entire tiny body to steer me around toward the makeshift frat house bar. If she wasn’t so graceful, it would look comical. I allow her to lead the way, which isn’t hard since the crowd parts like the Red Sea as soon as Lily makes her destination clear. She attempts to parade us to the back of the line, but I decide it’s time to use my obvious physical advantage to pull her to the front.
“Lily, please. We have never been and never will be line people.”
