‘Sorry, you just mentioned that your dad liked Queen, and I guess it made me wonder,’ I babble, frantically trying to dig myself out of this hole.
‘It was a fairly normal childhood, nothing particular to report.’ Again I wait to see if he’s going to elaborate, but there’s nothing. Every time I ask about his background, he seems to clam up, which only makes me more curious. I know I should stop now, but the rum evidently has other ideas.
‘Is it just you and Raphael, or are there other siblings?’
‘There are six of us in total.’ He smiles. ‘But I’m not very interesting. Why don’t you tell me a bit more about you?’
‘What do you want to know?’ I ask him.
‘Let’s start with why you’re here.’
‘Why are any of us here?’ I reply, unable to resist the opportunity to get him back for being so secretive with a little bit of amateur existentialism. ‘Does God exist, or are we just meaningless ants hurtling round the universe on a random piece of rock?’
He smiles again. ‘I meant Jamaica. Why Jamaica and the Elixir? Why are you sharing a room with someone you’re not dating and seem very sure you never will?’
He listens carefully as I explain about my relationship with Lily, leaving out the pregnancy plan, how the implosion of Fliss and Robert’s relationship put the whole trip at risk, and the various disasters that have led to me being in the situation I am now.
‘He sounds unhappy,’ Gabriel says after I’ve described Robert to him.
‘He’s certainly making me unhappy.’
‘Maybe a trip to Raphael’s will cheer him up. I doubt the Blue Dolphin will.’
I take another appreciative sip of my drink. ‘I don’t see how it could fail,’ I tell him. ‘This is literally everything I hoped the Caribbean would be. Who thought a dry hotel was a good idea? I mean, I get the wellness concept, but it seems like the marketing people haven’t thought it through properly.’
‘Go on.’ He leans forward, resting his chin on the upturned palm of his hand.
‘Most of the clientèle are couples, from the little I’ve seen of the place so far,’ I begin.
‘Yes, that’s true. It’s adults only, so very couple orientated.’
‘OK. How many couples do you know where both partners are total wellness freaks?’
He smiles. ‘I don’t know any wellness freaks, apart from my sister.’
‘Aha!’ I tell him triumphantly.
‘What?’
‘You said you weren’t interesting, but you’ve just accidentally revealed something interesting about yourself. One of your siblings is a sister, and she’s into wellness.’
He laughs. ‘If you think that’s interesting, you need to set the bar higher. Lots of people have sisters, and there’s nothing unique about being a fitness freak, otherwise all the gyms would shut tomorrow. Anyway, we’re getting off the point, which is the marketing of the Elixir.’
‘Is she married?’
‘Who?’
‘Your sister, the wellness freak.’
‘Is it relevant?’
‘Very.’
‘She is, yes.’
‘Is her husband as into wellness as she is?’
‘No. I think I can say fairly definitely that he isn’t.’
