Oh, how awful! The letter fell from my fingers and fluttered to the floor as tears burned my eyes. Feeling faint thinking of Dorian’s terrible injury and his impending death, I reached out blindly for the bed.
Seeing I was distressed, Mr Hart hastily helped me ontothe edge of it and put his arm around my shoulders to comfort me. I buried my head into the crook of his neck and sobbed. All the months of anxiety caused by that man and the letter he had written to mestillprofessing his love (which I had burned!) and the trepidation I had felt about raising his child (which I was going to do!)—now he was hurt and dying! It all came flowing out of me in a rush of hot tears.
‘After all that Dorian has done, you must think me weak to cry about him,’ I said in a short while, wiping my eyes with my sleeve. ‘He is the reason we are here at Godmersham, and he doesn’t even know that we are furtively running around making plans to cover up his mess!’
‘Not at all. You are kind, and it is very sad news,’ said Mr Hart gently, rubbing my arm. ‘I wept myself just now in my chamber. Heismy brother, and to think of him in pain and near to ... Well, it is horrible.’
‘Do you ... do you think he is being punished?’
Mr Hart shrugged. ‘I think he made an error of judgement, and this time, he could not talk his way out of it. But there is a certain inevitability, I must admit. When someone lives fast and furious like Dorian, there is a price to pay at somepoint.’
‘Will you go to him?’
‘Yes, of course, first thing tomorrow morning. How can I not after reading a letter like that? I would have to be cruel and heartless to ignore it. So yes, I will visit him and hear what he has to say. I only pray I am not too late. I would go tonight. But it is dark, and the roads are icy, and I do not want to have a similar fate befall me. And I have Lucy to think about.’
I nodded and drew back from him, wiping my eyes with my hand.
‘Mrs Fitzroy, I came to show you the letter ... but also to ask if you want to come with me.’
I sucked in a breath. Go to London and see Dorian again? To stand by his bedside as he took his last breaths all the while hiding the knowledge of his child from him?
‘I … I am not sure it is a good idea.’
‘I understand. Of course, it is too difficult,’ said Mr Hart. ‘Do not worry yourself. Maurice has probably already told him that you will not come.’
Upon hearing that, I felt awful and imagined how he would feel to know it, especially as he had been mumbling for me! Mr Hart was going straightaway and without any recrimination. So should I go too? But what would Maxthink if he found out about it? Would he think I was betraying him?Even though Dorian is dying?
‘Perhaps I will come with you,’ I said slowly, trying the words on like a gown to see how they fit. To my surprise, they fitted me better than I thought they would.
PART THREE
An Act of Kindness
Chapter 10
The carriage skittered sideways in a patch of ice, and I slid across the seat towards the window with a loud gasp. Harry, sitting opposite, clutched my flailing hands and helped me back into the middle.
‘Thank you.’ I let out a breath and adjusted my corset, which was askew, then tugged down my skirt, which had bunched around my calves.
‘Luckily, the window wasn’t open, Fliss. Or you would have flown right out,’ he joked.
I grimaced at him. ‘I know we need to make haste, but is it necessary for your driver to go quite so faaaast?’ I gripped the seat as the carriage wheels skidded again. My bones were so rattled after two days of travel that if I were with child, I probably would have given birth by now.
I thanked my lucky stars yet again that I was not, nor ever would be, pregnant. However, even on our journey to London, I still had to wear the wool padding. It was annoying and itchy, and I was growing increasingly hot and cross. But London was one of those places where you could bump into people you knew without warning, and we were so close to the ‘happy conclusion’ thatto fail now would be calamitous. So I had to keep up the pretence for the sake of everyone back at Godmersham.
Harry had done his best to keep me in good spirits. But he was not Max, and we did not know each other that well, even though we had shifted our acquaintance to a first-nickname basis.
He threw me a sympathetic look. ‘It is necessary, but it should not be for much longer. We are on the outskirts of the city, so we should reach my lodgings in an hour or two, depending on how busy it is.’
I glanced out the window and saw the scenery had changed. The swathes of frozen fields and bare-branched trees had given way to neat hedgerows and cottages. It was hard to believe that soon I would be in the heart of bustling London, when, a few days ago, I was happily writing a letter to Max in the parlour at Godmersham while a fire blazed in the hearth.
Harry had called another emergency meeting in Edward’s study the morning after he showed me the letter. He conveyed the news about Dorian and said that he was asking to see us. Maurice’s letter was handed around as proof. Harry had not asked for any opinion or approval (which I thought showed his strength of character) but quietly stated, ‘Mrs Fitzroy and I will be leaving for London immediately. I pray to God we are not too late.’
As expected, everyone was shocked and horrified. Elizabeth appeared overcome to the point of fainting but quickly rallied as she was the pragmatic type.
‘But of course you must go. How dreadful! Your poor brother, Mr Hart. I will ask Cook to prepare some food for your journey and have our coachman ready your carriage this instant.’ She whisked off in a flurry of rustling skirts to arrange things.
Edward too murmured his condolences. No matter what he really thought about Dorian, he was a polite and compassionate man and did not like to see anyone suffer under such circumstances.
