After I’m all cried out, Dain leans over and lights a kerosene lamp, and I wipe my eyes with a stray tissue I find in my jacket pocket. It comes away blackened. At first, I think it’s mascara. But there’s a lot of it, and it’s all over my cheek too. Ink seems to be leaking from his chest like black blood; the front of his shirt is covered in it.
‘Have you got a quill in your pocket or something?’
Dain looks down. ‘Damn.’ He takes out the now rather bedraggled drawing of Miss Lizzy that he drew for me. My tears have soaked through his pocket and made the ink run.
‘Oh no!’ My eyes water again.
‘Don’t worry about it. I’ll draw you another one,’ he says quickly, patting my arm. ‘I was feeling pretty rough after you left, so I had her in my pocket to keep me strong. Charlotte’s been looking after me too. She’s been on at me all day. “Don’t do anything silly, Dain. Lizzy will be back. Just wait. Write and keep busy.” So I waited, and I wrote like she said.’
I smile at him. ‘She talks to me too.’
‘She’s quite bossy, isn’t she?’
I laugh. ‘She is! But usually right ... about matters of the heart.’
Dain takes my hand and kisses it. He puts my palm on his inky chest, and I can feel the reassuring thump of his heartbeat. ‘I know you probably see the future with me as an unknown, and quite frankly, I can understand why you might be terrified after what you told me. I’m scared too, scared that you might decide you’re better off without me. But I’m willing to risk heartbreak because I can’t imagine life without you.’
I let go of the breath I’ve been holding. ‘I love you so much. There’s nothing I want more than to be with you.’
Dain grins. ‘You’ve just made Mr Rochester very happy,’ he says and kisses me with an intensity that takes my breath away. ‘I love you too—I have from the moment I first saw you there on the landing. I thought all my Christmases had come at once.’
Reader, I know it’s the truth. We’ve loved each other from the second our souls first met, even if it’s taken a while for us to get our shit together.
Chapter 27
My soul is awakened, my spirit is soaring
And carried aloft on the wings of the breeze;
For above and around me the wild wind is roaring,
Arousing to rapture the earth and the seas.
(Anne Brontë, ‘Lines Composed in a Wood on a Windy Day’)
A few days after we declare our love for each other, an article appears in my inbox without warning. Dain is at the parsonage at the time, and I’m at home working on my thesis. The article is titled ‘How to Date a Bisexual Person: 13 Steps (with Pictures)’.
Bemused, I read it, and it’s along the lines of what I know already: he’s attracted to both sexes, but he’s chosen to be with me, and I have nothing to worry about. Even though I trust him implicitly, I suppose it does ease my mind further that he’s not going to dump me for a hot guy.
I send him:Thanks for that, an interesting read!and getYou’re welcome!in return. We don’t talk about it when he gets home.
The next day, another one appears: ‘10 Things to Know before Dating Bisexual Men’. It pretty much repeats the other article but adds that I shouldn’t ask him if he’s secretly gay or for make-up tips. Noted. Now I’m more curious than bemused.
Me:Are you pleading your case with these articles? I appreciate you sending them, but not sure why you are. I thought we were OK?
Dain:We are. I just wanted to make sure you know it’s about the person. I’m attracted to both sexes, but it’s the person I love—ie. YOU.
Me:I love you too. And I trust you. I know you’re not going to run off with the first piece of juicy man arse that walks into town.
Dain:Well, if it’s a juicy man arse that reads Jane Eyre, who can say what I’ll do ... (that’s a joke btw, I wouldn’t even look twice at said man’s arse!)
Me:Haha, very funny. I don’t mind if you look, just not touch.
Dain:Good to know (winking face emoji). Anyway, why are we so focused on me? I’m sure you’ve had a little dabble.
Me:No, I haven’t. I’m strictly straight.
Dain:Oh. OK. Well, I’ll leave you to it. See you this afternoon. X
