He squeezes my hand. ‘Anyway, it doesn’t matter if he’s moved on or not moved on. I have. And I’ve found someone amazing that I want to be with. It feels like a miracle after all I’ve been through. But it remains to be seen whether or not she wants to be with me.’ His jaw works like he wants to expound on that statement, but he doesn’t.
My feelings right now are a massive jumble of tangled wool, and I can’t even begin to unravel them.
He said ‘if I’m in love with someone’. So does that mean he loves me? Reader, I’m too scared to ask.
‘Lizzy, are we going to be able to get through this?’ he asks quietly as I’m still mulling over his words and haven’t spoken.
‘I honestly don’t know. I need some time.’
‘Take all the time you need,’ Dain says resignedly. It sounds like he’s already given up hope.
‘I should go. Otherwise, I’m going to miss my train.’
He nods, releasing my hand, and smiles sadly at me. ‘Yes, you’d better.’
I head back to my room to grab my bags, phone, and charger. I’m glad I’m getting out of here today, even if Klint is waiting for me at the other end. I look at my empty wheelie case. Should I take all my stuff with me? In case I decide not to come back? I’m torn straight down the middle with belongings in two houses.
There’s a rustle by the door as a folded piece of paper is pushed underneath. I bend to pick it up. It says in curly Gothic script,
Lizzy,
I ask you to pass through life at my side—to be my second self, and best earthly companion.
Please come back to me.
Dain x
Tears spring to my eyes. It’s what Rochester said to Jane when he was proposing and she was convinced that he didn’t care about her. But Rochester was straight, not bi. And I can’t quite believe that I’m special enough that Dain would forsake all others, womenandmen. I grab a pen and scrawl underneath,
Don’t quote Jane Eyre. That’s not fair!
I fold it and shove it under the door. There’s scratching outside for a few minutes, and the note appears again.
It’s how I feel. I don’t want to lose you. This isn’t your fault—it’s mine. I should’ve told you. I’m so sorry. I hope you can forgive me. X
Time for more tough questions, ones that I don’t want the answers to. Before I can change my mind, I write,
Did you have threesomes with Gareth and Joelle? Is the Sophronia series based on Joelle?
There’s a silence outside the door after the note is received, ten agonising seconds of scratching, and the note is pushed back under.
Yes, but only a couple of times. It didn’t really work. And yes, it is, but there was a lot of artistic license.
I crumple the note in my fist, feeling sick. The truth hurts. Lizzy Doyle, you are a naive fucking idiot.
Chapter 25
You are not so bewitched, ma’am, are you,
as to remain with him of your own accord?
(Emily Brontë,Wuthering Heights)
To say I’m struggling to process Dain’s revelation is an understatement. I manage to ward it off with the hustle and bustle of getting to the station. But once I’m settled on the train, with nothing else to do but think, my mind is invaded withthe vision.
Sophronia (Joelle) clutching the bedpost and moaning, with a guy (Dain) underneath licking her out and the guy in front rubbing her breasts and clit (Gareth).Aarrrgh, the faceless lustful men that Tabitha Lavish was so good atnotdescribing now have faces!
It morphs into another worse vision: Dain having sex with Gareth at the hotel, maybe even in room 6 or 9.Urgh, having a sixty-nine!My mind balks—no wonder he didn’t want to come in for breakfast when delivering me to the door!
