God, I’m not sure why I said that. I must be delirious or drunk from the whisky in the hot toddy. But it’s out now.
‘I don’t believe that for a second,’ Dain replies softly.
Tears well up in my eyes before I can stop them.
‘It’s true, I’m not.’
‘Why on earth would you think that?’
‘I cheated on my boyfriend.’
Dain winds a ringlet of my hair around his finger. ‘When?’
‘Three months ago. It was at a faculty party ... with one of Klint’s friends, August Titmeyer.’
Dain snickers. ‘With a name like that, he was bound to be trouble. What happened? Don’t tell me—Titmeyer waited until you were tiddly, and Klint was out of the room. Then he pounced.’
He’s not far wrong, but I have to tell him the whole truth. ‘Yes, but it was more complicated than that. August and I had an unspoken “thing” between us. I tried to ignore it. But it was problematic because he was one of Klint’s closest friends, so he hung around at our flat a lot. But that night, it was mainly my fault. I drank too many cocktails.’
‘I see.’
I take a deep breath, trying not to picture August’s cornflower-blue eyes and his silky golden hair that fell perfectly into place, no matter how much he ran his hand through it. ‘Anyway, we always kind of flirted with each other, but jokingly. However, on this particular night ...’ I take a deep breath. ‘The flirting progressed tomore.’
‘So you slept with him?’ Dain says bluntly.
‘No!’ I say, shocked. ‘We were at Klint’s supervisor’s house!’
He shrugs. ‘Sorry, I assumed the worst. Go on.’
‘Klint and I were going through a ...’ I cough. ‘Dry spell. I guess I was feeling lonely, unloved, and unattractive.’
‘Mmmhmm,’ says Dain, his tone emotionless, like he’s heard this a thousand times before.
‘August had cornered me in the lounge, and we were chatting next to the window. I’m not sure where Klint was. I’d had a few margaritas by that stage. I remember there was this green crushed velvet curtain, and we were flirting as usual. Next thing I knew, I was being pressed back into the curtain up against the window. August was kissing me, and he had his hand up my top.’ I cringe in shame. ‘I pushed him away. But apparently, quite a few people saw it, including Klint’s supervisor. So I had to tell him. Since then, I’ve been in disgrace, and August was dropped as a friend. Luckily, Klint forgave me, but it’s made things shaky between us. I’m hoping we can get past it.’
I’m expecting Dain to say a number of things, but ‘Did you enjoy it?’ isn’t one of them.
‘What?’
‘Titmeyer kissing you and his hand squeezing your breast. Did you enjoy it?’
I swallow, feeling a trickle of hot desire run traitorously through my veins. I fantasised about it for weeks afterwards, wondering what would’ve happened if we’d been alone in the coatroom.
‘No,’ I say tersely. ‘I didn’t.’
‘Truthfully?’
I slump against him and moan. ‘I did. I did. That’s why I’m not a good person. I should’ve tried harder to keep away from him.’
‘Did Klint say that?’
‘Well, yes.’
‘What else did he say?’
‘That I needed to talk to his priest, and if I did, he could move on.’
Dain blows out his cheeks. ‘He made you go to confession?’
