Then we assemble the animals and scrape off the pancake batter splattered on the Aga. I expect him to make a joke about it, but he doesn’t.
We’ve just finished when the kitchen door opens, and Susie and Sasha wander in, dressed in matching pink PJs. Then they see the pancakes. Susie squeals, ‘I want the teddy bear!’ The commotion brings in the rest of the kids, and soon, there’s a pancake party going on at the table.
Then Jennifer appears in her purple dressing gown.
‘What’s happening?’ she asks.
‘Holly made animal pancakes for my birthday,’ says Bailey with a smile at me. ‘Dig in. There’s plenty.’
‘How lovely,’ she says, giving her son a hug. ‘Happy birthday, darling. Holly, there’s some maple syrup in the pantry if you want to grab it.’
I nod and head off to the pantry, but Bailey follows and corners me before I can escape.
‘Thanks for taking over,’ I say, lowering my eyes. ‘That went better in my head.’
‘No problem. So are you staying then?’
I shake my head. ‘I think this thing—whatever it is—has reached its natural conclusion.’
‘Oh.’ He looks mildly surprised, as if he thought our pancake making had somehow erased the previous conversation.
‘It’s for the best.’
Bailey gazes at me, expressionless. Is he angry? Sad? I can’t read him.
‘Sorry about the timing.’
He turns to leave. ‘Don’t worry about it. There’ll be other birthdays.’
And I take that to mean ‘without you’.
Chapter 23
The story that I’m telling everyone is that I stupidly booked my return ticket for today instead of tomorrow, and I can’t change it or cancel it to get a refund, which is partly true. I do have a return ticket for today. I bought it immediately after I booked the Inverness guest house on the train coming up here. But the rest is a flimsy excuse, and I’m not sure people are buying it. Kirk definitely isn’t now that he knows the whole sorry story.
‘But it’s Bailey’s birthday. You can’t go today.’ I take heart in Sarah being genuinely disappointed I’m leaving. She helps me bring my bag downstairs and out to the waiting car Allan has just brought around.
‘We’ll go out for dinner when he gets back to Edinburgh,’ I fib.
‘Oooh yes, so he doesn’t have to cook. And you’ll have to come to London and visit us soon too.’
I make a non-committal noise of agreement.
Bailey hasn’t been seen since our conversation in the pantry. I’m sure by now he’s come to the same conclusion I have—that there’s no point in taking this any further. Our backgrounds are too different. He’s probably regretting even starting anything with me since I’m a basket case.
I’m just about to get into the car when he comes dashing out at the last minute, clutching the green tinsel bow. He fastens it onto Crumpet’s collar, who’s jumped up at him, wagging his tail.
I narrow my eyes.Cute, very cute, but that can come off.The Christmas fairy tale is over, and I’m heading back to real life, where there aren’t any sparkles.
‘Just leave it on until you get home,’ he says, as if he knows what I’m thinking. ‘Might help you strike up a conversation on the train.’
Wow, he’s encouraging me to meet other guys already!
I shrug. ‘Fine.’
Bailey leans down and kisses me on the cheek. ‘Keep in touch,’ he mutters while I try not to flinch as his familiar spicy scent invades my nostrils and makes my head swim. Well, I guess he has to say something in front of Sarah, Jennifer, and Kirk—the McAdams family members who’ve come outside to see me off. Lewis, Moira, and Andrea are still in bed. Knowing that Bailey is going to be spending his birthday with Andrea, and they could feasibly get together, is a bitter pill to swallow. But logically, I can see she’s a better choice for him—less trouble all round.
I feign a smile. Friends it is. I guess that’s better than nothing. But I’m not sure even that will happen since he still hasn’t given me his number.
