“No, I think I’m hitting the nail on the head so hard you can’t take the truth,” she says. “Kaleb, it’s Raina’s life. It’s her body,her happiness. And right now, she’s dealing with something she wasn’t entirely prepared for and needs support, not lectures and misogynistic bullshit.”
Kaleb shoves his hands in his jeans pockets and looks at his boots.
“I need you,” I tell my brother. “I don’t need you to reprimand me or to drive across town to start another brawl with them. Right now, I need you to give me some space, some time to just think and figure this out.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t want you anywhere near them, Raina.”
“That’s going to be hard,” Vivian chuckles dryly. “One of them is the father. They have legal rights here, not to mention, that’s not what Raina wants, and it’s her decision, not yours.”
I point a finger at Kaleb again. “You have to make peace with them. We need to just cool our heels and talk about this like adults.”
Again, he shakes his head and walks out of the room, leaving me with a nervous shudder while Vivian steps closer to me in support.
I don’t know what to do with any of this. It’s all happening at once and at a speed that feels unmanageable. I’m pregnant, and I walked away from the men who made me feel like I was the queen of the world—the men who claimed me, wrecked me in the best way possible, then rebuilt me into the woman I am today.
“Raina, you’re going to pull through this one way or another,” Vivian says. “It has to be confusing and scary for you right now?—”
“It is,” I say, interrupting her and bursting into tears. “Because I don’t even know if I should tell them. How will they react? They didn’t ask for this. Neither did I. And I left, Vivian. I left just as they promised they’d be there for me, that they wanted to make this happen. All because I couldn’t bear disappointing my brother.”
She frowns slightly. “Kaleb isn’t the master of your destiny, though.”
“No, but our whole lives, we’ve had each other to rely on. I owe him so much.”
“You don’t owe him your happiness or the rest of your life. That’s yours to do with as you please, and I know you’re not the type to throw it all away on a whim,” she says. “I know I was hesitant about it at first, but I can tell that what you and the guys have is worth exploring, I think.”
I sigh. “I just don’t know if a baby will change any of that.”
“Then what are you going to do?”
“Right now? I’m just going to sit here and take a deep breath and wait for the doctor to come back so I can hear all my options and figure out a way forward.”
Vivian reaches forward and hugs me. I welcome the warmth of her embrace, the sweetness of her affection, and I rest my head on her shoulder for a moment.
“And I’ll go out there and smack some sense into your brother,” she says when she pulls back.
“Yes, please, stop him from doing something worse.” I almost laugh between my tears. “And please keep this between us for now. I don’t want anyone else to know.”
She nods and goes after Kaleb while I listen to the sound of her heels clicking until they become faint echoes somewhere in the distance. By the time it’s quiet again, an emptiness comes over me.
I know I have Vivian and that my brother will eventually come around. But I have never felt more alone.
And the uncertainty of it all scares me the most.
27
RAINA
Once I’m back at my place, things seem less dire.
Vivian managed to keep Kaleb from doing something worse, though she has yet to convince him to actually make amends with Alex, Max, and Vincent. In the meantime, I’m working to settle into a new routine, at least for another week or so—until I make decisions of my own.
My morning coffee is now decaf. I need to make sure I take my prenatal vitamins and drink enough water. And I need more whole foods in my diet—with that in mind, I text Alex to let him know I’ll be in touch next week regarding The Black Swan, if only to keep that door open while I figure things out. I make my way across the block to one of my favorite farmers’ markets.
“Hey, Prince,” I say, greeting my go-to guy for the best fruits and vegetables in the entire city. “How are the greenhouse fruits coming along?”
Before me, woven baskets display their early spring harvest.The first berries look beautiful—plump and radiating life in bright reds and blues.
“Miss Redford!” Prince turns around to face me after serving another customer. His watery blue eyes light up at the sight of me. “You’re looking fabulous,” he adds after careful consideration.
