“I couldn’t tell you about my family,” Luca says.He closes his eyes for a brief moment, clearly pained by what’s happening.“You know that’s not fair.”
“But here we are,” I say and gesture to the shower.
Luca sighs.“I only came back here to protect you.”
“Thanks for not running off when I rescued the little kid,” I mutter and pull back, trying to slip from his grasp.
He holds me tighter.
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
“Do I?”I ask.“Because I’m not sure what you mean.I’m not even sure who you are anymore.”I step out of the shower, glancing down as the dirt swirls around the tub floor.I’m not entirely clean, all I did was rinse off, but standing in the shower with Luca isn’t helping.
“I’m still me,” Luca says and rinses under the spray.He grabs the shampoo bottle while I reach for a towel, drying off and trying to warm up.Already, I’m cold, but I’m not sure it isn’t also his touch that I already miss.He closes part of the curtain, trying to keep the water off the bathroom floor, but I can still see his face, talk to him.
“I don’t know what that means.I don’t even know who you are,” I say.“We’ve just scratched the surface of a relationship between us, and now we’re talking about jumping headfirst into marriage.It’s insane.”
Luca rinses the soapsuds from his hair and then turns to face me.“Do you think I want to join my father after college?”he asks, staring straight into my soul.“This wasn’t my great idea to come here this weekend.I showed up to protect you, Harper, and that’s what I’m going to do.No matter what.”
I yank the shower curtain all the way closed.I don’t want to see him right now.
I know he’s trying to help, but he’s making it worse.
There has to be another way, another option; marriage isn’t the answer.It isn’t the answer—there’s so much he doesn’t know about me, about my life, and I can’t just marry him.It’s crazy.
Luca leaves the water running, but he steps out of the shower.He grabs a towel and begins to dry off while I grab my pajamas from my overnight bag.
I’m silent.I don’t know what to say, what to do.Maybe we can pretend that we’ll get married or fake a wedding and then find a way to escape his family.
We could transfer schools, move to another state, or even to another country.
But then there’s my family.I can’t just walk away from them.As it is, I usually call them on weekends, and they’re probably wondering why they haven’t heard from me.
It’s so fucking complicated, and he doesn’t even have the slightest idea how bad this could be, for all of us.
“Are you mad at me?”Luca asks.He slips into a pair of boxers and nothing else.
I try not to stare at his bare chest, but my body reacts even when I don’t want it to.He’s gorgeous, and he’s not a bad guy;his father is the monster.
But he’s going to become him if he joins the family business.
A muffled gunshot reverberates through the walls.My eyes widen in horror, and my hands tremble.I think I’m going to be sick.Did they just murder that innocent little boy or the man they wanted me to kill?
Tears burn my vision.“I can’t—I can’t do this.I can’t marry you and pretend everything is okay.”
Luca nods slowly and pulls me against him.“Then, you and I, we won’t pretend.We’ll be honest with each other.Always.Okay?”
The air leaves my lungs as I exhale a heavy sigh.
Honest.
He wasn’t honest with me about his father, his family, the mafia.
“We won’t pretend,” I repeat, because I can get onboard with being real with Luca.I’ve always been genuine around him.
“Not to each other,” he says, clarifying his meaning.“We might have to pretend in front of my parents and yours?—”
Another sigh, and this time I open the bathroom door.
