Maybe, somewhere along the way, I’ll figure out how to not be afraid of a legacy which would never be my choice to shoulder.
CHAPTER 7
FORD
I’m nervous while waiting for Arden in front of the movie theater. I’m not even sure what the movie we’re seeing is about. All I know is Arden agreed to go out with me. It only took asking her a few times. Honestly, I’m not sure why I didn’t give up after the first time in Falls Market.
When I stopped into the post office yesterday, I didn’t even pretend to be there to mail something. There wasn’t an envelope to be seen. All I had was the hat on my head and my keys and wallet in my pockets. Desperation was crawling at me, a feeling I couldn’t shake and eased the moment she finally said yes.
I’m not even sure why it’s something I can’t ignore, this need to see her, to track her down and soak up even a few minutes of contact. It doesn’t make any sense.
But it feels so good in the moment. Then I walk away from her and remember my Sunflower.
I’m all twisted up inside, but I’m hoping spending time with Arden will help me straighten things out. Can I really wait around for a nameless, faceless woman on the other side of letters I can’t return?
I remember the soft smile on Arden’s face as I stepped up to her desk at work yesterday. There was a teasing in her voice as she asked, “Already back to mail something else?”
“No,” the word was cracked as it left my lips and I cleared my throat before swallowing hard. “I’m not here to mail anything,” I explained.
Her head tilted to the side as she looked me over, as if it would give her the answers she was looking for. I’m not sure what she saw, but her navy eyes softened as she looked at me. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to make me brave.
“I don’t get much time off,” I started as if I was about to sell her stake in Sagebrush, “but I’d really like to take you to a movie. If I asked you to a matinee instead of one at night, would you say yes?”
The look on her face was pure bewilderment, “A matinee?”
I nodded slowly and licked my dry lips, hoping not to sound like some pre-teen asking a girl out for the first time. Even though she’s the first woman I have ever asked out. You’d think I would learn my lesson since she turned me down three times already; I’m not sure if the first one counts.
“Yeah,” I grunted and shrugged like my heart wasn’t in my throat. “I get up really early in the morning to get thing started on the ranch. I might be the boss, but I’m still out there withmy ranch hands putting in the work.” Her mouth kicked up in a small smile that felt like pure triumph. “Waking up early means going to bed early. A matinee would work better for me, if it’s okay with you.”
My eyebrows pulled together and I found myself staring at the small tear away calendar in her little post office cubicle. It reminded me just how close my birthday was, and my mind drifted to my Sunflower. Thinking of her made my gut churn, but I forced my feet in place instead of running away like part of me wanted to.
“What about we call it a friend date?”
My head snapped up so damn fast that I gave myself a crick in my neck. The smile on her face told me that she knew exactly what she just did to me—she surprised the hell out of me. And she found it amusing.
“If you want to call it a friend date,” I shrugged and stuffed my hands in my pockets, trying not to look as excited as I was feeling, “I don’t have a problem with it.”
She grinned and I found myself doing the same. There was something fragile between us. New. Maybe all it will be is friendship. I don’t really know. It’s all new to me.
But maybe it could be more.
What about Sunflower?
Yeah. That.
I wipe my hands on my jeans and turn when I hear footsteps behind me. Getting my first look at her steals my breath. She’s gorgeous.
Her hair is down today, framing her face in soft waves. It’s a mix of browns and blondes, like she spends time in the sun. All of her reminds me of sun kissed skin and lazy days at the creek. I don’t know what it is about her.
I find myself wanting to step closer to her the longer I’m around her. Like I need whatever she’ll let me bask in.
It’s kind of fucking with my head.
“Hi,” her voice is bright and she lifts up on her tiptoes slightly, the movement far more adorable than she’d probably like me to comment on.
Women don’t like that kind of thing. Right?
Fuck. I’m out of my depth.
