He fixed the swing.
Too bad my heart is still broken.
Chapter 15
One Year Later
With my eyes closed, I hold the final note and let it pour out of me, filling every corner of the room. When the music cuts, so do I, lowering the microphone away from my lips. The stage lights are blinding, hiding the crowd completely, but I smile anyway and bow, waiting for the applause.
Only—there isn’t one. Or at least, not much of one.
Slow claps, a few whispers, and someone coughing in the back are the closest thing to applause I get in this dank, old bar close to campus. No one’s here for the music. Hell, half of them probably think I’m some drunk girl doing karaoke, but at least for a few seconds, when I’m on that stage and my eyes are closed, I can imagine I’m somewhere else.
On a bigger stage. One where people want to hear me.
Standing straight, I open my eyes and slot the microphone back into the stand before saying, “Thank you,” into it. Then I walk off stage, and signal to my boss that I’m going to take my ten-minute break before I go behind the bar.
It’s not the best gig. The princess party job paida lotbetter, but I got fired after I had to return Princess Blanca’s dress tattered and ruined. The new dresswas deducted from my final paycheck. Ironically, it took all the payment from Scotty’s party to pay for it.
Unfortunately, this is the best thing I could get that would work for my college hours and auditioning. It’s not too bad. Mike, the owner, lets me sing a few songs each shift, so at least I can get some practice in. Does it feel as good as when I sang to those five-year-olds? No. I miss singing to them. I miss seeing the hope and wonder in their eyes when they see their favorite character come to life. Now when I do see people’s faces, all I see are lost, soulless eyes who couldn’t give a shit about my singing.
I try not to think about it too much, since I’m not going to get that time back.
“Laura,” Danny, my scene mate in improv class, drawls out before sliding an arm around me and exhaling a sugary cloud of vape smoke that smells like synthetic peaches, “that was beautiful.”
“Thanks,” I say, pulling out of his hold and dusting off my black dress before taking a seat with the rest of my classmates, Lana, Curtis, and Jo.
They are the theater crowd I’ve been hanging with since…well, sincethe incident.They’re pretentious and I don’t really like them, but since moving out of English Lit 101, I had to fill my hours with more theater electives, which means I’m with them more often than I’d like to be.
It’s not that I don’t like them. It’s that I don’t feel great when I’m around them. They’re all…just so good at this, and at playing the game to get further in theater.
Lana toys with her dark hair before leaning into Curtis and giving him a long, slow kiss. It’s overly dramatic, like everything they do. Seriously, sometimes I think they break up just to have loud, theatrical makeup sex. Can’t judge. At least they’re getting some.
I’ve been on two dates in the last year. Both of them were disasters. Both times, I compared them to—I sigh, shaking my head. I don’t want to think about him. It only opens up wounds I’ve been trying to shut.
I can’t even look at a hockey player on campus without coming out in hives. Every time someone mentionsHendricks Unchecked, I change the subject.In fact, I’ve structured my entire life around avoiding Scotty Hendricks, and sometimes I worry that makes me think about him more, not less.
“When do rehearsals start forThe Glass Orchard?” Danny asks Jo.
I cough, using it as an excuse to cover my face with my hand and hide the disappointment that’s no doubt showing across my face.
Every single person at this table got a role in this semester’s main play. Every single person except me. Just like every semester, I’ve been passed over for a part again.
It’s definitely made me wonder if I should keep going. Will anyone really see my worth?
The thoughts have been whirring in my brain for so long, but then I remember that every actor says it takes just one thing to make you big, and that keeps me going…for now.
“Next week, I think,” Jo responds, her smile wide and beautiful. “I’m looking forward to playing opposite you.” She leans across the table, shoving her ample breasts in mine and Danny’s faces.
I think they’re fucking. I can’t be completely sure, but the way they look at each other. There’s also the fact that the leads in all the plays seem to end up together after the production is finished.
I should probably add that to the list of reasons why I can’t get laid.
Danny does what he always does, smile and wink. Then he starts talking to everyone aboutThe Glass Orchard, leaving me to sit quietly because I have nothing to add to the conversation. They all know it, and I get the occasional sympathetic glance from them, but I don’t acknowledge it. Instead, I toy with the ends of my hair, feeling how silky-soft the ends are. That new hair oil is clearly helping.
After another five minutes, I move onto my dress, picking a loose thread to pretend I’m doing something other than feeling horrendously sorry for myself.
Jo glances over at me, her smile softening. “Laura, have you heard of any good auditions coming up?”
