I take a few tentative steps forward. Maybe she won’t notice me doing the Naked Glove Shuffle five feet from her. It’s not like she’s noticed me before. You know what? I’m pretty sure I could do a naked cartwheel in front of her, and she still wouldn’t notice me.
That’s part of the reason I like her—she doesn’t care.
The only important thing to her is finishing her next chapter.
I inch closer. She shifts but doesn't look up. I take a step onto the fountain, and I think I've gotten away with it.
“See you later, sucker!” Erik's shoulder slams into mine as he blows past.
No. No. No.
I try to recover, but it’s too late.
I stumble forward, lurch straight toward Laura, totally out of control.
There’s no stopping the momentum.
No recovering my dignity.
This is happening, and it will be one of those moments I’ll relive at 3 a.m. for the rest of my life.
Chapter 2
Penis!!!
That’s the only thought I have.
Just penis.
My life flashes before my eyes as the largest, most aggressively uninhibited dick I’ve ever seen whips toward my face like it’s auditioning to be the male lead in my next theater production. I don’t even have time to react.
Thwack!
Right across my cheek.
Yep. I just got bitch-slapped by a penis.
As the flaccid phallus moves away, the guy attached to it latches onto my shoulder for balance, catapulting both of us into the campus water fountain.
I have no recourse. No way of getting out of this.
Splash!
Before I know it, I'm in the slimy, green water, questioning what life choices brought me here.
Reading a book? Meeting a friend on campus? Neither of these things should have brought me to a potentially life-threatening fountain incident.
I push myself out of the water, sucking in air as the weight of my dress drags me down.
I take deep, panting breaths, all the while trying to avoid eye contact with the biggest dick I’ve ever seen that’s currently bobbing in the waves like a fish.
Who am I kidding? That thing is more like an eel. I mean, it’s got a curve. A presence. A personality.
This can’t be happening, can it?
“Shit,” the guy grunts beside me, and I hear splashing, frantic movement. Then more splashing.
More naked men come barreling toward me. Dozens of them. Men with gloves, hockey sticks, and skates—come charging toward the fountain.
