“Thanks, pal,” Z said, ruffling the fur on the fox’s head before taking the items. He scribbled something on the card, then handed it back to the robot. “That goes for either of you. If you need something, call me. I’ll come as soon as I can.”
Dawn nodded, not sure what to say. Ladee rolled her way, holding the card up to her. She took it with shaking hands. The letter Z was scrawled across it, then a series of numbers. She recognized the prefix as belonging to one of the galaxy’s most secure communication servers.
“Be seeing you,” he said, strapping on his breathing apparatus and hitting the button to open the door. He walked into the dim Pallas night. The door closed behind him, and when it did, Dawn felt like a door was closing on her own future.
“It was a long trip inside Sleep’s dream,” she told Ladee. “I need a shower.”
Then she fled to her living quarters. Instead of the shower, she collapsed on her bed. The tears flowed freely, and she was unable to stop them.
Z was gone.
Her fling with a Vartik king had ended. Not with a bang but a “be seeing you.”
It was only now, in his absence, that she could admit how hopelessly in love with him she was. She’d refused to allow herself to even think of the possibility when she wasn’t sure of his identity or his motives. But now, realizing that he was a decent man fighting for the safety of his people, she understood. His lies had been out of necessity. Just as hers had been. Things between them were even, with enough blame and enough justification to go around.
But realizing this fact now didn’t make things any easier. He was still gone.
“There’s no room in your life for a relationship, remember? You have too much to do, and being infatuated with the handsome hunk would just distract you from your work.” Even if she knew what she told herself was true, it didn’t make the pain in her chest go away.
He doesn’t want me.He left without so much as a peck on the cheek. He’s a king for fuck’s sake. Way out of my league. There was never anything there to begin with, at least on his side. He was playing a part, nothing more, nothing less.
It was those thoughts that finally caused her tears to taper off. Dawn sat up, took a deep breath, and climbed off her bed. She discarded her clothing and padded into the hot shower.
He was never for you.
Put him out of your mind.
Focus on work, like always.
She soaped herself and worked to blank her mind. Then she turned it to the project that had just fallen apart at the mention of gods and demons and the apocalypse.Maybe something can be salvaged. I need to analyze the data. At least I know my modifications to the neural cap worked. A link between unconscious minds is possible. The potential applications were numerous, from therapeutic interventions to shared dreaming.
Stepping out of the shower, she toweled off and shoved her unruly hair into a bun. Wiping the steam off the mirror, she stared at her own reflection.I look tired.
More like heartbroken.
It was interesting to see her face without the glasses she’d worn for so many years. And to see her eyes return from ghostly white to a blue so dark it bordered on violet. Still, the absence of glasses was jarring.Maybe I’ll pop the lenses outor get some with plain glass. Just to feel the weight of them again.
Smiling wryly, she made her way into the bedroom to dress.It’s just like me to stick with what’s familiar than to risk taking a chance on something new.
The familiar felt safe. It was what she knew.
Besides, something new was likely halfway across the galaxy by now and getting farther away every second. Something new had turned out to just be the old disappointment masquerading as novelty.
She didn’t need something new. She had her work, her carefully ordered life.
It didn’t matter that her chest felt empty and she had no enthusiasm for science at the moment. Focusing on her work would push those feelings away eventually.
Wouldn’t it?
