It was several moments before he responded. “I wasn’t.”
Her jaw dropped. It made no sense. “But…as far as I understand it, you’ll die from this thing if you don’t…if you don’t…” She knew the words but couldn’t say them.
“If I don’t claim my mate,” he finished for her.
“And I’m…” she looked at him, hesitating to say the word even though she already knew it was true. “I’m your mate.”
He nodded, then hung his head.
“Please,” she said quietly. “Please explain this to me.”
Drake stared off into the distance. “Zantharians mate for life. Because our females have only a single egg, evolution has forced the frenzy on us, to ensure that we will keep the population stable.”
“And the frenzy makes you need to mate or…you die?” It seemed so unfair to her, a biological imperative that risked lives. Then she remembered the lemmings on Earth who would fall into the ocean in droves, just based on instinct. Maybe this wasn’t so different.
“How does it happen? If you don’t mate…?”
Drake didn’t seem capable of meeting her gaze. “The seed we don’t release becomes toxic and kills us.”
Although she’d heard hints of his possible demise, the fact that he was admitting it to her now carried a weight she hadn’t felt before. She was his mate, the only one he’d ever have. And if she spurned him…
Still, she had questions. How did the mating process work? Why had she been selected? Was it because of who she was, or was there something else? Something purely chemical or biological? Was it chance that had chosen her for him?
But how could she ask these things when he was sitting there, a pained expression on his face. “Why me?” she said at last, her voice small.
Finally, he met her gaze, and his eyes were clear for once. “I’d had no luck getting into NASA myself. I knew of your existence thanks to your sister, and you were what I considered a contingency plan, one I hoped I wouldn’t have to use.”
A slow exhale gave him pause before he continued. “I sought you out when I could think of no other way of getting access to the secured area. I caught you coming out of your apartment one night. I remember the streetlight setting your hair aflame. I think it was then that I first fell.”
Jamie felt a jolt in her chest, every word he said building the sensation. “I started following you, at first telling myself that I was looking for a way to get access without actually bothering you. But I think I knew even then that interacting with you would be dangerous. I was obsessed, spending my days watching you, fantasizing about meeting you, about touching your skin, feeling your lips against mine.”
His dark eyes blazed into hers, the golden ring around the inky pools expanding. “That evening, when those assholes from the train followed you, I couldn’t stop myself from acting. I was filled with such rage, I could have easily killed them without regrets. But that night, when I saw you at the restaurant, it was purely by chance.”
“I thought afterwards that I could go back to following you around, but you made sure that wasn’t a possibility. Once you confronted me, I knew I was well and truly hooked. I debated that afternoon, before we met at the coffee shop, about just going away, giving up on trying to get into NASA through you.”
He leaned in close, and Jamie wanted to reach across the table and take his hand in hers. She hesitated, not wanting to break the spell. “The truth is, I couldn’t walk away from you. And that night, I watched you. I saw you open the door to your fiancé, a vision in white, and I burned with such jealousy that I couldn’t stand it. I waited until he left, and I came to you.”
Jamie’s cheeks heated with the memory of what had transpired. “After I tasted you, I knew I’d never get you out of mind.” Drake’s voice trembled. “And in Lakewood’s lab, after I entered you for the first time, I was lost. The frenzy began immediately.”
Her mind was reeling. It sounded like he was saying that it wasn’t just biology, not just some mix of pheromones and chemicals that had drawn him to her. Still, he hadn’t said the one word she’d been longing to hear.
Swallowing past the lump in her throat, Jamie spoke. “If I accept you as my mate, what happens then?”
A look of stunned disbelief marched over his face. “You would accept me?” He stopped for a moment, as if he couldn’t go on, then he shook his head. “You don’t know what you’re saying. As my mate, I would be chained to your side for the rest of our lives. A Zantharian male experiences physical pain when separated from his mate. I would rarely let you out of my sight.”
Jamie leaned back. The idea of an overprotective male at her side for all hours of the day was a heady thought. She’d never been attracted to that idea and in fact had always required her private time. Still, the thought of Drake being the one at her side made her feel differently for the first time.
“And then, there’s what might happen if you accept my seed.”
She stared into his eyes, catching his meaning. A child could result from their union. She’d seen the other couples in the conference room today. It was clear that human and Zantharian DNA were compatible.
“And so you see why having me as a mate might not be preferable.”
He’d listed his reasons, and she took a moment to consider. Although she’d been engaged to Lance, she admitted to herself now that she’d never really thought of him as a husband. She’d never considered what it would be like to spend her life with him.
She was still young, after all, with plenty of life left to live. Settling down now would mean that she no longer had the freedom to explore other options. And, as he’d pointed out, if she accepted a Zantharian male as a mate, there would be no other options.
Jamie had already seen Drake kill a man who’d touched her. She thought he’d do the same to any male she might seek out over him.
