Besides, I wasn’t the only motherless misfit here in this group, or even the one with the most fucked up past out of all of them.
Check out Brighton, for example. If I were that kid I’d probably be on suicide watch. He just breezed on through life like a damn menace. And boy did I love him for it.
The kid was slowly becoming one of my favorite people ever. I didn’t even understand why, it wasn’t like he was the nicest kid in the universe. There was some little part of him that reminded me of myself. It would take a lot more than the Council or shitty parents to break that kid.
He absolutely joined Baxter in being one of the little brother’s I never knew I needed until I got them.
I expected resentment from my boys because I had semi stolen their baby brother. They didn’t care and showed me nothing but endless love and devotion.
“No Baxter today?” I asked as I sat down beside Isobel cross legged on the grass.
She spent as much time with that little guy as I did Brighton. Honestly, maybe even more. He was Rain’s adopted kid after all and he lived with them.
I didn’t know if she played out the role of his new mommy, all I knew was that Rain was very much fulfilling the role as his new daddy. And Baxter loved them both a whole lot.
I didn’t mind sharing. My dad had plenty of heart to go around and, if it weren’t for me, he’d probably have had a whole lot more biological children with my mother.
I would have thought my dad had all the children he needed already but I’d been wrong. So very wrong.
Frankly, I was looking forward to it. If anyone deserved to be happy it was my dad. And Dash’s dad. The jury was still out on Finn and likely always would be.
Isobel sat down on the grass beside me. She tucked her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “Bax went into the shop with Rain. Toby and Baylie are working tonight and I think my boy is hoping they adopt him into their small circle. Honestly, I’m hoping they accept him into their ranks because it’d mean a lot to me if all my boys were tight.”
I could completely understand that. I loved that all of my boys were tight. Even Trenton and Simon fit in somewhere with the rest of my crew.
It was odd how we all fit. Or maybe we all fit because we really were just meant to be. I could get behind that.
I plucked at a blade of grass. “Do you think it’ll ever get any easier? To just be without being haunted by the things that they’ve done?”
This was something that I’ve always struggled with. It wasn’t so easy for me to just snap my fingers and move on from something. I liked to overthink, and I sure ass hell liked to know the why behind everything. Especially when it came to something important.
Though, the Council was no longer an important topic to me. They were a very dead one.
But, my mother on the other hand? She was more important to me than I ever was willing to admit out loud.
If any of my guys ever found out how badly I felt when it came to all things my mother they would lose their fucking minds. I was one messed up girl and it had a lot to do with my aunt kidnapping me, taking me from my mother and father, and then raising me how she did.
I used to blame myself for her death but I knew now it hadn’t been my fault. If anything she deserved to be blamed for it.
I had serious mommy and daddy issues and I didn’t think I’d ever be lucky enough to grow out of them.
“Are you still afraid of being underwater?” I asked Isobel something I was so curious to know the answer to.
I’d still be afraid of being underwater if I hadn’t faced my fears head on and forced myself to be under the water again.
The Council had a way about them and they had liked to kidnap and torture female witches. I didn’t get it myself but sometimes men could be motherfuckers and there was really no excuse for it.
“I’ve never been afraid of the water,” she said while staring out at the river before us. “The water isn’t to blame for what happened to me. Men who were monsters were. The water was just a tool they used. As soon as I realized that the water lost all of it scare factor to me.”
Good. I was glad to hear it. She had enough on her plate to worry about, she didn’t need added trauma from the water on top of it.
She probably needed counseling. Like myself, I knew she’d reject such a notion. We worked through our own problems in our own time and on our own terms.
We were both hot messes.
“Hey Ariel,” Brighton called as he threw a rock into the water in an attempt to skip it. “Can we come here and go fishing one day?”
Um… no?
