The boys took their spots, Siwan testing a few notes on his bass as Soobin twirled his sticks. Cal put his beloved Fender around his neck and tested a couple of notes, pressing down on one of the many pedals in front of him.
“Yaaaa Cal hyung, JALSENGYEOSOOOO!!”
Lia didn’t register the voices yelling beside her, she was too focused on what was happening on stage. Sound ripped through the brimming tension in the air, exploding in a way that made her heart leap in her chest. They were playingBolt of Blue. She knew the gritty, early 2000s opening as well as she knew the back of her hand. Soobin started the song, hitting a steady beat. Cal joined in on rhythm guitar, and a sessionist added layers to the lead. Siwan joined with the bass and much to the crowd’s delight, he took over Bomseok and opened the song.
Lying awake at night
I look at the sky lonely without you
Are you here? Is it true?
Or are you lost in a bolt of blue?
Cal sang the chorus, his voice filling the space.
When they were younger, the song sounded like it was full of youthful anger and regret. But now that they were older, Cal sang the song with a touch of longing. Regretful still, but there was a sadness to him that was more mature. He smiled down at the guitar, hitting a pedal with his feet and seamlessly took the guitar solo, not daring to look up at the crowd, which only pulled Lia deeper into the spell he was weaving with his hands.
CoBOLT’s recorded music didn’t do justice to how gorgeous and full Cal’s voice was live, his range from soft, intimate melodies to fully belting out his notes. There was a quality to it that a polished recording studio couldn’t capture. A raw magic that pulled her in and made her feel…alive.
“Holy fuck,” she said suddenly out loud.
“Damn they are good.” Teddy said beside her. The song reached its climax, and the vibration of Cal’s long-held note felt like it was happening in her chest. In body parts a little further down also, maybe.
He let the music hang in the air, cutting off at the last second. Lia was at the edge of her seat (metaphorically, as she was physically still standing), unsure where he was going to take it next, and the pregnant pause was cut through by an electric guitar so crunchy and wild it was like a hot knife cutting through a block of butter. She felt herself scream more than she actually heard it as the drums and bass came in.
“BOOOOLTS SOLIJILEEEE!!” Cal yelled. Lia knew she was yelling along, but she could barely hear herself over the excited screaming happening around her.
“Did you miss us?” Cal asked the audience in English, speaking closer to the mic so his voice was low and seductive, and the crowd grew ever wilder. Soobin was yelling something in Korean that Lia couldn’t catch, but he seemed thrilled.
It had been years since Lia saw CoBOLT perform live. But clearly that was a grave error on her part, because the band performed a solid three-hour set, keeping the audience hyped the whole time. And while in the past, Lia would have had to hold on to all these feelings and thoughts to herself, today she had the chance to tell Cal, the band, and anyone who would listen what it meant to her.
And she was sure that there was absolutely no way that Cal could see her. It would have been impossible, with all the lights focused on the band. But Lia pretended that he could anyway. Because what was a little delulu from a fan?
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Lia bookedherself a hair appointment the morning after the showcase. But it seemed unlikely that she would make that appointment, given it was 3 AM on the night of the showcase and she still couldn’t sleep. It was just socoldinside the house, like someone had forgotten to turn off the aircon. She’d put on socks and a jacket and waited for sleep to take her, to no avail. She checked her phone.
“The Korea Meteorological Administration announces the start of the winter season, with temperatures expected to dramatically drop in the following days…”
Well. That would do it. It also explained why the usual blanket of yellow out of her window had turned into sad brown slush, the leaves washed away by recent rainfall. The weather was changing, and she was cold in Cal’s house.
Lia had left Hongdae shortly after the show ended and walked around a little bit, thinking about her younger self wandering those same streets. She thought about the person she used to be, the person she was, and the person she wanted to be. How all of that was for her to choose. And to be fair, she was happy with the person she had become now—someone whocould still love, even if it hurt every time. Someone who still loved music and loved being a fan.
She’d come home to an empty house. Neither Cal nor Teddy was back, and a quick look in her location app told her Teddy was in Cheomdangdong, probably celebrating with the rest of the band.
