“You arenotbad at this.” Lia scoffed, shaking her head. “I refuse to let you believe that.”
“And I refuse to let you believe that you were meant for rejection,” he said back as quickly as she had. “That letting people in wouldn’t make you happy.”
“Cal, I…” she hesitated. “Do you know how hard it is to ask things from people, and still feel like it’s not enough?”
“Yes.”
Her eyes widened in surprise like she’d completely forgotten what he did for a living. But yes, he understood perfectly well—to be loved but still want more. To keep things to yourself, but want someone else to understand. He knew it better than most.
“That being said,” he continued, clearing his throat, because he was lockedin.“I wanted to tell you about the mini album.”
“No.”
“What?”
“Don’t tell me. I don’t want spoilers!” Lia exclaimed, pressing her hands (which she’d tucked into the sleeves of her jacket like paws) against her ears and shaking her head. “Lalala.”
Cal grinned and tugged at the chain of her swing, pulling her close enough that he could use his free hand to pull her hand down.
“Baby, they aren’t spoilers when we’re living together.” He grinned, knowing what that sounded like, knowing why she’d gasped and why her eyes widened in shock. “Now listen.”
Oh. Shelikedthat. Even with the darkness that surrounded them, it was hard to miss the flash of heat in her eyes. “I’m…listening.”
“The new mini album’s theme,” he said, and why washebreathless? “Is ‘come back to me.’”
“I…I see,” she said, blinking rapidly. “Come back to who?”
“You,” he said. The words were easier to say now, mostly because there was nothing to hide from her now. “I wanted to write an album that would make you come back to me, and the band. I was thinking about you, the wayEchomade you feel. The way you never know how many layers to wear, the way you like your coffee with milk.”
“My stomach gets acidic otherwise,” she pointed out, albeit weakly.
“When you called me your ex, I wanted to do the thing I wasn’t willing to do when Bomseok left. I wanted to fight for what we had—or, what you had with me, and me with you.”
“I’ll lose.” She frowned. “If it’s a fight, I’ll lose. I’ve seen your muscles.”
“Not literally, silly,” he told her, although it did make him laugh. “I wanted the band to fight our way back to the fans we’ve missed. To make good on our promise to always be there for you. It’s new, but it’s still us. We’ve changed, but we like the band we’ve become and we want to share that with you again. One that’s ready to fight. I want us to fight to win you over.”
“That’s…” Lia blinked, and the truth seemed to sink in for her, finally. “I’m worth fighting for?”
“Yes.” Because it was that easy.
“You know I…” She seemed to have a hard time finding her words. She took her glasses off, and Cal wasn’t sure why until the tears in her eyes caught the light. She wiped them away with the pads of her fingers, and Cal resisted the urge to wipe them away for her.
“I quit liking the band because I thought I needed to outgrow it. I kept trying to live up to this expectation of who I should be, what I deserved, what kind of life, or friends I should have. And if I take anything away from this trip—” not including the skincare, the perfume, stationery bits and maybe a CoBOLT hoodie?—“it’s that I’m just a girl who is trying to live her life. Figure out what that’s going to look like. I can make it what I want to be.”
He said nothing and waited.
“I don’t need much,” she continued. “I don’t ask for much either. But I deserve more than what Megan gave me. You make me feel like I deserve more. That an idol who doesn’t know me, doesn’t know anything about me, cared enough to write songs for me is…very parasocial.”
“True.”
“But makes me feel seen, in a weird way.”
Her hair was blowing gently in her face, and out of consideration for her already cold fingers, Cal held a hand up until she nodded, letting him tuck the loose strands of her hair behind her ears.
“You know whatever happens with this,” she said. “This is good. Making a choice is good.”
“Whatever happens,” he agreed. “I want to know that I did everything I could to earn your love.”
