“Aw, you came out to me, Lia. That’s so nice.” Cal was being absolutely smug now, wriggling on the couch so he could bump his arm against her blanket lump and Lia pretended to be so annoyed she needed to roll her eyes.
“Hinde ah!” She argued. “Iusedto be a fan! You’re, you’re…you’re my ex!”
He looked like he was making a valiant effort to keep his idol face on, but failed miserably when he laughed again.
“Your ex,” he said when he finally calmed down, shaking his head. “I hate it so much.”
“Hey, second-chance romance is a thing,” Lia joked. “Malay mo.”
“Malay ko.” He repeated, and the words seemed to carry a completely different weight when he said it that way. It wasn’t until Lia’s laughter died down that she noticed that Cal was contemplating the view again, as if it was the first time he’d truly seen it.
“I’m glad you came to Seoul,” he said to her, looping an arm over her shoulder. Lia let herself lean into the touch, finding comfort in the warmth he provided. While it was the heart of Lia’s younger self that leapt, it was Lia of that moment that accepted the affection she was being given.
To: Mon ([email protected])
Subj: Your Offer
Hi Mon,
Thank you for your email. I’ve been a fan of SixJays since Dawn, I can’t believe it’s been fifteen years already! I would be thrilled to be the project manager of their launch event.
As Teddy might have already mentioned, I’m in Seoul right now. Can we schedule a call so we can talk through expectations and goals? Since the anniversary is in six months, I want us to coordinate on at least a high level.
Thanks!
Lia
SEVEN
LOVE YA! - HYUKOH
“Wouldyou like to meet again, see how you feel?” her therapist said through the video chat, peering closer at her screen as if reading something off the side. “Next month, the 18th, same time. Does that sound good?”
“Sounds good.” Lia nodded, already making a note on her planner, balanced on the lap that wasn’t occupied by her tablet. Yes, she took notes during therapy sessions. It helped to remember, and it was interesting to see what her brain had decided was important. “I kind of feel bad taking your time. And I’m really just a person who can afford therapy trying to deal with settling.”
“It’s my job, Lia. And it matters to you, so it matters. I wouldn’t say settle,” her therapist reminded her. “Life is always going to move and change. So are you. Part of living is being able to keep moving forward to new things, new experiences and people. There will always be tomorrow.”
“That’s…actually very reassuring,” Lia acknowledged.
After making sure they were both on the same page with the schedule and a few polite sign-offs, Lia turned off her tablet and took a deep inhale of the cool air of the autumn morning. Therewas a bite to it now, a hint of the winter to come, although that was still weeks away. For now, there was autumn in all her orange and yellow glory. She was sitting with her ankles crossed on a park bench, nothing to accompany her but the rustling leaves and the city still coming to life around her.
She walked to the bakery at the end of the street, up a surprisingly tall hill. It was a single-story place, all floor-to-ceiling windows and brick. She caught a glimpse of herself in the window. She saw her nose, red from the cold, eyes still wet from talking about her feelings. Something about her therapy sessions always made her weepy, but she’d stopped thinking it was a bad thing. There was a CoBOLT plushie attached to her tote bag with a chain, and she never would have chosen that before. She was bundled up in one of Cal’s coats, because—as it turned out—she didn’t actually own anything that could withstand a cold autumn morning in Seoul. She was carrying around a tote bag she’d bought the other day, with a notebook she’d also purchased as her Work Notebook.
Just three months ago, Lia thought the only joy life could bring came in the form of the coolest bars in the city, the newest restaurants. Joy came from accomplishing things and working hard.
It was almost like the person she thought she was only three months ago had completely vanished. Or had become a different person entirely. Because now, joy was having a morning coffee and listening to your favorite music, joy was having a plushie on your tote bag.
Joy was heading up to the mezzanine to go back to your friend who had waited patiently for your session to finish.
Cal was sitting at the very last table in the back of the room, the top of his head haloed in warm yellow lights from the industrial-style pendant lights. His legs were tucked into the plushy club chair in the most impossible angle. His hands werespread over the flat pages of a notebook, a pen firmly in his hand as he was fully bent over the table, writing furiously as he nodded along to whatever he was listening to.
There were some days that joy also felt like hope. Like maybe today was a day that she wouldn’t feel lonely.
Lia didn’t want to judge the warmth she felt in her chest. It wasn’t bad, it wasn’t good. But it was a feeling she allowed herself to have now. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Hey, Best Butt,” she said, waving a hand to catch his attention. Cal scowled at her as she giggled and reoccupied the seat across from him. Best Butt was a fandom joke she could now say out loud. “Here’s your coat back.”
“Dangerous words for someone who never would have found this bakery without me.”
