“I’ll sort it out,” Cal said. “We can’t have these issues when we’re making an album.”
“No offense, hyung, but when you say ‘sort it out,’ I can’t help but think you mean ‘compromise to make everyone happy.’”
“It would help if you had a vision for it,” Teddy pointed out. “If you knew what direction the album was going to take, we would have an explanation for getting someone you actually like.”
“That sounds like really good advice.” Siwan nodded in agreement. “Don’t be so stressed, hyung. I have work outside of this. So does Soobin. We’ll be fine if this doesn’t work.”
But what about Cal?Lia wanted to ask, but decided against it.
“Teddy, you just landed today. No work for you until you guys get a good night’s sleep.” Cal smiled, passing a cup of coffee in Lia’s direction. “Milk?”
“Please,” she said, not looking him in the eye. It just didn’t seem like he wanted her to see his face—the way it darkened, the way he was trying to tamp down the thing Siwan told him not to feel.
Lia might not have seen it, but she understood it better than most. She kept her eyes on her cup and politely gave him that privacy.
The next morningwas Lia’s first full day in Seoul, and the day of her therapy session. Just like yesterday at the airport and, as with all people who have had to bear the responsibility of managing other people’s lives and schedules (just her?), she woke up early. There was no point in sleeping in when you could be somewhere else, trying your hardest to feel a little less anxious about getting help.
The dark grey of the morning confused her because it was already 8 AM. She hadn’t closed her windows last night, and the sun was still nowhere to be found. It reminded her of waking up at 5:30 AM every day for school, having to go through the motions just so you didn’t get a demerit.
Lia moved through the motions now, but she was getting dressed for a new day in a new environment. She was a little lost on layers, which ones she would need for the day, but that was nothing a good jacket couldn’t handle. There was a drag to her usual morning motions, and it was hard to tell if the weight was emotional or if it was from her having 34-year old muscles.
She checked the time on her phone. Her call was scheduled for 10 AM KST, but she knew she needed time to find a nice, calm space to attend her therapy session. Taking it here at Cal’sapartment felt too weird and vulnerable, but neither did she want to be in the middle of a random cafe for it.
Was that something she could look up?
Lia quietly opened the door to the hallway. The house was seemingly still, the motion sensor lights hadn’t detected her yet. She could hear soft snores coming from Teddy’s room, and she padded to the living area in her socks, careful not to slip on the smooth floor.
She should have known something was up because the lights were all on. But Lia didn’t fully process that someone else was in the kitchen until she heard a voice singing “Silver Springs.” At eight in the morning. An all too familiar male voice singing about exes falling for someone else, even as you loved them hauntingly.
“’Tangina.” Lia sighed, her knees suddenly feeling weak as the Filipino urge to sing along threatened to overtake her. She took a few steps into the living area and almost slipped and fell on her donggu in surprise.
Cal was standing at his kitchen island, his back to her as he fiddled with his espresso machine.
He was also shirtless.
Which she knew was a minor detail, but tit—er—itwas a very important one. The boys used to joke about how they definitely weren’t beast idols, because they didn’t dance. And Lia ten years ago didn’t care. Who cares about abs, ngek.
But apparently not anymore, because Cal’s body today was one that had been given time and patience (and protein shakes) to. Most of his bulk was on his upper body. There was just something about the shape of his upper bicep that made her want to—nope. Nope, she wasn’t going to go there. It was just made abundantly clear to her that God had favorites. But whether it was Cal for his excellent body or Lia for having seenthat body and being allowed to let the image of it get burned in her brain was the part she was still fuzzy on.
He was still singing. Man, he was really giving heartbreak. What if she just?—?
“Lia!” Cal exclaimed, as if he could tell she was about to sing too, turning to her as he cradled his freshly made espresso in his hand. Espresso over ice. Wow. “I didn’t see you there.”
“And I cannot un-see you,” she said, and when Cal gave her a curious look in return, she only smiled like a loon. His upper body was very approachable, she realized. Like he would be the kind of guy who jogged at the same park every day, gave directions to lost ahjummas, rescued cats in trees. Like the kind of guy who smiled at everyone who passed, just because he genuinely liked jogging in this park.
“I was just making coffee,” he said, taking a sip of said coffee. “Do you?—“
“I wasn’t looking!” She really should stop lying, if only because she was someone’s ninang now, for god’s sake. “And I was just leaving, so…”
“Oh.” Was it her imagination, or did Cal look…disappointed? Like she’d just told him that pourovers weren’t her thing. They weren’t, but still. “Are you in a hurry? I can shower and get dressed in like, ten minutes and drive you?—”
The urge to repeat “drive me” in a high-pitched voice out of disbelief was so strong that she needed to press her lips firmly together to stop herself. What if someone saw them? What if it became a scandal?
Nope, not delusional,Lia reminded herself. Also, he probably had other things to do, like…make an album. She had therapy to be in, a job to find, perfume shops to peruse.
“Or…not.” Cal tilted his head.
“MaybeI’mdead,” Lia said to no one in particular, remembering that Teddy had said when Lia was talking aboutbodily fluids at the airport. “I should go. I was going to walk to Tartine, and it takes ten minutes to get out of the apartment complex.”
