This was what he’d kissed her for, yes? This was what Jay wanted for her.
As he remained a bystander in what was likely the first time someone asked Mara out to a date, a darker, quieter thought emerged.She can’t fall in love with him. I was falling for her first.
Jay refused to entertain the thought now. He didn’t want to let it fester and grow, or turn into something bitter and ugly. But he also knew that he didn’t want to hear her answer. Not even a little bit.
“I…think my sister needs me,” he lied, taking Mara’s empty glass and handing her his untouched drink. Then he took off before either Mara or Perry could say anything because he was, what, friends? Jealous? A coward? All of the above? Correct.
“I see you guys have met Perry,” Alex said, coming up to them with a sweating glass of iced tea in one hand and a Jamaican patty in the other. What a vibe. “You know Tori fell for him so hard she almost married him, but I asked her first.”
“What?”
“That was a joke, Jay. My wife’s a lesbian. Are you okay?” Alex actually looked concerned. “I thought you said yesterday that you and Mara weren’t dating.”
“We’re not,” he said, but then his stomach did that other weird thing it did whenever he lied. The one where it was like someone thrust a hand into it and squeezed. No wonder he’d never been known for being a good liar. “We’re not dating, we’re…”Learning how to fuck each other?“Not dating.”
“O-kay,” Alex said doubtfully. “So you don’t mind if Tori and I set them up? We were just talking about it last night, that they would actually be good together. I mean, they look cute diba, with the height difference and all.”
Jay made a funny sound from his throat, like a teeny, tiny frog had leaped out of it suddenly. This Perry guy was so tall he had to lean in to Mara to listen to her talk, but he didn’t seem to mind, and Jay wanted to stop them.
But he reminded himself that this was what Mara wanted, wasn’t it? To find someone, learn how to flirt, be better at asking for what she wanted. Which, he supposed, could lead to something like this, which was a good thing, right? One did not simply become a grade school valedictorian without being able to pick up on a lesson quick.
“He’s exactly the kind of guy she should get after a kiss from me,” Jay said, his gaze unfocused.
“You don’t mind?”
“Why would I mind?” he asked the currently spinning universe in general.
“Yeah. Why nga,” Alex repeated, and Jay knew his friend was trying to bait him. But his pride and…prejudice? No. Whatever, his inner self was only just a little bit Perry—goddamn it—petty, and refused to own up to what he was currently feeling.
He did, however, hear the hosts for the reception call the wedding party to the stage. It distracted him, but not enough that he missed Perry leaning in to kiss Mara—only for the display to be blocked from his sight because a group of, like, five people clustered together in front of them to take a selfie with the back camera of the phone! Youths!
“Huh,” Alex mused beside him. “I wonder where he kissed her. Sa lips? Sa cheek? Or sa neck?”
“Set them up! It’s fine,” he said to Alex, kissing her on the cheek, ignoring the way she was totally taken aback as he jogged up to where the wedding party was gathering.
“Jay!” Alex exclaimed, following after him again. “Jaysohn Montinola, donotmake me run in this dress!”
Jay stopped, hands in fists on his sides as he turned slowly to face Alex, who crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. She wasn’t wearing a dress at all, but instead had chosen a comfortable-looking halter neck top in white and soft, flowy pants. The flowers on her neck really were lovely.
“You’re wearing pants,” he said, coming out of his daze, and he kind of felt like he could see straight again. Ironic.
“Yeah, I am,” Alex said, looping an arm around his. “I just wanted to catch up to you and tell you that you’re being an idiot.”
“Well, by all accounts, I’m nevernotan idiot, so you’re going to have to be more specific.”
“Why are you threatened by Perry?” Alex asked, hands on her hips.
“I’m not threatened by him.” Jay shook his head. “He sees exactly what I see when I look at Mara. Someone creative and funny, someone who you want to be in your corner because she will make you feel like the best person in the world. Someone beautiful and gorgeous and shy, but wants to love you as much as you want to love them.” The words tumbled out of him. He’d been holding on to them for the longest time, and it felt like he was pulling out an extra limb for Alex’s examination.
“That’s…that’s beautiful.” Alex blinked at him in surprise. “But you make it sound like a bad thing.”
“I just…” Jay was pacing in front of his friend now, on her wedding day, making her focus on his problems. He hated it. He hated himself for making Alex confront him because he was being petty and jealous. “I kissed Mara the first day I met her. Because she wanted true love, and I told her I couldn’t give it to her.”
“Why not?” Alex asked, confused. “You’re the most loveable person I’ve ever met. You shine on everything you touch.”
“I… That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” Jay told her, his shoulders slumped, and Alex rolled her eyes.
“Please, Jay, I’m a married woman.” She scoffed, but it was clear that she found saying that out loud really nice, and Jay was happy for her, so much so that he started to ask her more about how it felt to be committed to Tori. But before he could, Alex already hit his arm with the back of her hand. “Focus. So you think Perry is Mara’s true love?”
