He sent back a GIF of a squirrel sledding down a snowy hill. And if Mara had a hard time wiping the ridiculously kilig smile off of her face, well…nobody had to know. And no one was going to know, because no one else was there.
She paused, looking up from her laptop where she was in the middle of paying for Wildflower’s utility bills on one tab and partway through reviewing Alex’s contract with Tropikal Flower on another. On the table next to her was a planner with a to-do list written beside the words “Boracay break!”
It felt impossible to focus on anything today. Not with the crystal blue waters of the sea right in front of her, not with the sway of the palm trees beckoning her to drop everything and head out for a swim. Not with a plate of grilled ensaymada, parma ham and quezo de bola, a cup of coffeeanddalandan juice sweating off its coolness. Not when she was still thinking about last night, the sounds she made, the grip of his hands on her body, when she touched him. She was all distraction today, and maybe it was time to accept it.
So she called Marina. Her sister was really good at distracting her even more.
“—so I asked him,” Marina said a few stories later, “‘Honey, why is there a Gundam in the linen cabinet?’”
“Let me guess,” Mara said dryly, closing her tablet a few minutes later. Of course she wasn’t going to immediately tell Marina what was going on. Marina needed to sense that something was up and then wheedle her into telling. “He asked what the linens were doing in the Gundam cabinet.”
“Exactly!” Marina laughed, her voice coming crystal clear through the call. “He’s so funny.”
Mara was suddenly hit by a strong wave of missing her sister. It really wasn’t the same, not having Marina around. Even when she spent her weekdays in Makati and weekends in QC, at the very least they had a Sunday meal together.
But now she belonged to—sorry,with—David, and even being a call or a message away, Mara still felt the distance greatly. She and David had just declared themselves settled in a new condo in BGC, a gift from David’s parents. The place was tiny, and there was very little place to hide, but they were happy. And even better, they had parking.
“Ate,” Marina suddenly said, as if apropos to nothing, “just to clarify, no one in our family is hurt, dying or in trouble, right? Did Mom mistake turquoise for tortoise at the glasses store again?”
“No, everyone’s fine,” Mara assured her sister. The memory of their mother being absolutely perplexed in a sunglasses store always cheered her up. “What a random question.”
“Not really random. Youcalled.”
“You make it sound like we never talk on the phone,” Mara grumbled, nibbling at her triangle of queso de bola.
“Ate, Gen Zs never call,” Marina said, which made Mara roll her eyes. Mabel and Marinaalwaystried to lecture her on the ways of their generation, as if the three of them didn’t grow up in the same household with the same Wi-Fi password and VHS tape rewinder. “Everyone is fine. Which means whatever you want to say to me isn’t urgent enough to be an emergency, but urgent enough that you needed to call. So what’s up? Tell me everything.”
Mara leaned back against her seat, squirming so her thighs didn’t press up against the legs of the chair. She wasn’t sure how to explain herself, or even begin to tell her sister about what happened.
So she said it in point-blank terms instead. That she met Jay in Boracay. That they “did things” last night. Let Marina fill in the blanks whatever way was comfortable for her and react accordingly. Which, on her part, turned out to be a screech that was heard all over Boracay and the rest of the Visayas Islands.
“Anak ng kabayo, Marina,” Mara hissed. “Hala sige louder pa bes! I don’t think God heard you!”
“ATE, YOU SLUT!” Marina sounded absolutely delighted, cheering. “I am so happy! I freaking knew you and Jay would be good together. ItoldMabel—”
“Oi, oi, no, we’re not together,” Mara clarified. “We didn’t exactly put a label on it, but it’s not serious. We were just…”
“Not seriously carried away by passion. Mmm-mhm, mmm-hmm.” Mara decided not to correct her little sister, shaking her head instead while she couldn’t see. “Pero Ats, you sure with the casual relationship stuff? I always thought you were a true love kind of girl.”
“I mean, it’s fine for now.” It was what Jay was willing to offer, and at this point, Mara wanted to stop waiting around for things to happen and actually give…whatever this was a try. She didn’t regret it so far, which was a good sign. She was being cautiously optimistic. Saying this made Marina snort. Her sister didn’t believe her at all.
“Wait,” Marina said suddenly, “are you calling me to ask for my blessing or something, because that would be weird.”
“Weirder than you marrying my friend?” Mara asked wryly. It was the first time she’d hinted at being uncomfortable about the situation. They were finally at the point where she could joke about it and feel only happiness for them. Which she did. “No, I wasn’t asking for permission. I just feel a little overwhelmed.”
“Uh-huh.” Marina did not sound like she believed her sister one bit.
“Why didn’t you guys work out?” Mara asked. Not because she was a glutton for punishment or anything. She was just doing research. Continued research on matters of relationships and why they failed, on what she could do to avoid those pitfalls in the eventual moment that she met someone else. “You and Jay. Was it just because you wanted David more?”
“Well, there was that,” Marina mused. This was probably the first time Marina seriously considered her past with Jay. “But I had this feeling that Jay was waiting for me to cut him out. What’s the word for that? Like he was weighing and measuring the way I felt about him so he could run before I could.”
“Naninimbang,” Mara said, the word a sigh on her lips. That sounded about right. She felt it last night, when he was watching her, waiting. And it could be a good thing, in the current situation that they were trying to navigate. But would they always be like that?
She shook her head. It didn’t matter. Jay wasn’t willing to give her more than introductory lessons on the topic. Regardless of what his issues with relationships were, they weren’t in one. Mara wasn’t supposed to feel anything more for him than a fond gratitude.
“Yes, tumpak.” Marina pulled Mara from her thoughts. “He was holding back. And I didn’t get a chance to figure out why, or try to get him to let go.”
“Gets.” Mara sighed deeply. What her sister described was a mountain of emotional unpacking, and Mara had never been one for sports. Or hiking.
