He released her, and Kira rolled onto her back, making a little humming sound as she nestled back into his pillow. Santi caged her in his arms, watching her emotions as they shifted from contentment, happiness, to peace. She blinked sleepily at him, and he wondered what was going on in her head.
He could tell her now. Could tell her that his grandfather had wanted the Laneways in exchange for Santi’s return to Manila. But it all seemed moot, now that he’d decided to stay. No need to tell her about things that didn’t matter anymore.
“I feel like that, too,” she finally said. “I’m glad you came home, Santi.”
They stayed in bed for most of the night, talking. She told him about her dreams for Gemini, of mastering the beans Sam found in the Tomas farm to make her own. They were both still naked and already had multiple drinks of water and trips to the bathroom to clean up. Kira could have stayed like this forever. Best New Year’s ever.
“Do you ever wonder if you should be somewhere else?” Santi asked, lying back against his couch, where they eventually retreated, as Kira’s head rest on his stomach while they both snacked on olive oil fried kesong puti. It was something Santi had just “whipped up” with what he had in his pantry, and when Kira dipped both in egg and breadcrumbs before frying? Ugh, perfect post-sex, so-past-midnight-that-it-was-closer-to-noon snack.
“Not really. I’m happy where my life is,” she told him. “Did I tell you I used to work for Serendipity Studios?”
“Really?” Santi asked, because of course he knew the coolest stationery company in the country.
“It was a dream job, and I for sure thought I could stay there forever,” Kira chuckled, because it had been so long ago, and it was funny to say it out loud. But of course it hadhurtback then. “But at the end of my six months they just...decided they didn’t need me. Something about how I was a team player but didn’t take initiative, when it was literally my first job, and they were in the middle of a crisis, half the time my supervisors weren’t even there.”
Not that she was saying she’d been a perfect employee, but it gut her to the core, to have that dream taken away from her. She still carried that scar with her, and it was years later.
Which was why it only hurt more that Gemini could just...disappear. Because she hadn’t done enough? She wasn’t going to take that.
“You know what my Tito Nicos said, when he sent me that email about taking over the Laneways? He said, ‘walang personalan, ha.’ What doesthateven mean? How can business not be personal, especially in this country, when it’s run by families, by friends, when it’s supported by communities? If it wasn’t so personal, the Laneways wouldn’t be what it is today. It was literally built around personal relationships, around a community of people.”
Santi remained silent, but she knew it was because he was listening. She liked that he was listening, even if half these things were just things she said off of the top of her head. Things she just needed to say out loud. When they first met again, she’d said that all she needed was someone to believe in her. And how nice of the universe to respond with Anton Santillan.
“I’m good at making chocolate. I’msogood at it, actually,” she continued, and it should be okay for her to say that. Because she wasn’t lying, wasn’t making up a story. “How could a retail chocolate shop still be up and running if it wasn’t any good? But it’s not translating! When I’m in that meeting it’s like everyone’s speaking a foreign language that I should know. That I do know, but I can’t access as easily.”
She seemed to be holding her breath, waiting for Santi’s response, or maybe hoping to take back how much of her insecurities she’d revealed. His fingers paused.
“I think,” he said slowly, as if he was trying to come up with the right words. “That’s bullshit.”
“Hey!” she said, sitting up, turning to him and frowning. “That’s not nice.”
“Wait, wait,” he said, kissing her cheeks to reassure her that he was going to say the right thing, wait lang. “I’m sorry. I meant to say, you’re Kira Luz. You love everything with all your heart, and people are drawn to that. To you and your chocolate. It can’t be wrong.”
“But Anton,” she told him. “It could be gone in a month. I don’t know if I can keep it running forever.”
“Nobody thinks they can run something forever, only for as long as they can. That’s why the best businesses have exit plans.”
“Everyone’s telling me to take that exit plan right now. My parents, my siblings, my uncle, this cousin I haven’t spoken to since I was a kid when I would only answer to ‘Princess Jasmine.’”
“Princess Jasmine,” Santi repeated, tucking a bit of her hair behind her ear, and the action was so tender and sweet that it made Kira lean into his touch, just a little. She pretended to bite his hand as if in retaliation, but Santi only chuckled.
She really liked it when she made him smile.
“You have to face it head-on.” The words were said firmly, but in a way that didn’t make Kira feel like she was being lectured. Supported, yes. “Your chocolate, the business, your problems. You owe it to yourself to face it all with the confidence of someone who knows their shit. Because you do. That other language they’re speaking, you understand that. It’s just a little lost in translation.”
Then he kissed, her, his lips pressing against her forehead, and the action was so suddenly tender that it made Kira want to sink into his arms and listen to him encourage her for at least another year. “You know everything you need. If there are things you need to sort out, I can help. I can do math.”
“Oh good, because I am terrible at it,” Kira laughed. “Santi, I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you.”
“Trust me, you’re not,” Santi assured her with a little kiss to her temple. “I can help you with this. Let me help you with this. Because it makes you really happy. If you were faking it, then the universe wouldn’t have sent you a sad sack like me. Then we would have both been miserable.”
Kira wrapped her arms around him tightly. “You’re not unhappy,” she said, burying her face in his neck like she was still just a bit embarrassed. “You just feel guilty about being happy. And you’re not alone, Santi. I’m with you. Just like you’re with me.”
Chapter Eleven
January 5
Haraya Subdivision
