“Korean boys are not replacements for true love, Kira. Telly told me she saw you both looking nice and cozy together at the Star Tollway exit when you drove in.”
“Ala naman!” Kira exclaimed. “Spying on me, Ate Nessie? Really?”
“It would be spying if I deliberately looked for chismis, but the chismis comes to me willingly,” Ate Nessie explained, waving a hand around as if that fixed it. “But be careful with your heart, Kira. You give it away too willingly.”
“I don’t.”
“You do,” she said, shaking her head. “You gave your heart to the Laneways and now the Lai Mall is taking over the space across the street, and your cousins suddenly think it’s worth notice. You gave your heart to your chocolate, but now Uno wants to take it away. You gave your heart to couples who sought your advice, but once they’re together, it’s done, they don’t need you anymore!”
Kira wished she could argue back, she really did. But it was true. She hadn’t heard a peep from Alfred and Mikaela since that first chaperoned date, she just assumed that things were going well. She didn’t realize that her friends actually recognized her part in their love stories until she was asked to make the chocolate, but even that was her job. It was something she needed to do.
But it didn’t bother her, really. There were always more friends to make, more couples to match. If they didn’t need her anymore, it was a good thing.
Even if a tiny voice in the back of her mind said,but don’t you want something that lasts? Something that’s just yours?
“And now you’re ready to give your heart away to this Manila Boy.” Ate Nessie said the term in the least endearing way possible. Never mind that Santi wasn’t born in Manila. “The man could just be buying your chocolate to get into your panty!”
OH GOD.
Kira wanted to take a shovel, dig a hole and nap in it for at least two days. She could recognize when Ate Nessie had a point, but right now it was a full-on Monet; clear from a distance, blurry up close. She tried to speak, but the only sound that her mouth could make was, “wha—”
Yes, she was giving her heart away with every piece, but she was okay with that. Yes, the growth was slower than she anticipated, but it was at a pace that she set, a pace she was comfortable with.
And sure, Santi buying her chocolate would be amazing, but it changed nothing about how being able to make chocolate made her feel—proud that she was able to make something by herself, proud that she had learned to do this and do it well, and excited to keep making more. It was a way for her to connect to people in her community, a way to reconnect with people who might have fallen away from her life (only to come back). When she’d lost sight of what she wanted to do, she found out about chocolate, and the rich history Batangas shared with it. Chocolate became a legacy she’d stumbled upon, and Kira held it close to her heart.
I am exactly where I need to be,her yoga teacher said that morning as he took them through their morning flows.What would your life be like if you believed that affirmation?
Pretty much the same, really.
“Ate Nessie,” she finally managed to say. “If Santi wanted to get into my panties, all he has to do is ask. And I will probably say yes.”
Now it was Ate Nessie’s turn to be speechless, which made Kira smile. It was as much of a declaration as she was going to make about the subject. She was sure the entire neighborhood would know she was open to sex with Anton Santillan, but what was the point of arguing about the truth?
Admitting your desires seemed much more fun than pretending they didn’t exist. Oh my god, was she growing up? Was she a full adult now?
“Also, my heart is fine,” Kira insisted, pressing her hand to her chest as if checking. “A little bruised, but she can still handle it. I can handle this.” And because she couldn’t help herself, she was on a roll, she added, “And my Korean idols give me joy, let me enjoy them. And their music, obviously.”
Ate Nessie’s face turned from shock to slight embarrassment, until she finally snapped her fan open and pretended to be preoccupied with the heat. Kira wanted to apologize, immediately feeling guilty, but she couldn’t. Give Ate Nessie an inch, and she would take a mile, that was for sure.
“You don’t have to do this, you know,” Ate Nessie said, waving the fan around, indicating Gemini. “You can just run the Laneways and still have...everything you already have.”
“If anything, this whole Luz family meeting tells me that I can’t,” Kira insisted, putting a few ice cubes in two glasses before she poured tsokolate into them. Batangas tsokolate purists might scoff at the idea of their precious drink iced, but it was suddenly hot today. “Gemini is mine. It’s something I built, and something I’m running. If I have to fight my family on it, I will. I can keep doing it on my own.”
“Ah siya,” she finally said, accepting the glass. And Kira knew that this wasn’t going to be the last time they talked about this, but at least for now, she was heard. She didn’t need Ate Nessie’s approval. She didn’t need anyone’s approval, really, but it felt good to see her nod. To see her let it go, because she believed Kira.
But before she could say more, the shop bell rang to signal Mang Roldan walking in.
And Ate Nessie just blushed, and melted into a puddle on the floor. Which was understandable, because Mang Roldan was clearly trying to melt her with the heat of that intense gaze of his.
“Kira,” Mang Roldan said, that Keanu Reeves smile of his spreading slowly across his face. Ate Nessie was very vigorously fanning herself. “Rosanna.”
Hala siyaaaa,Kira almost said out loud, because nobody ever used Ate Nessie’s full name. And sure enough, Rosanna Soriano was blushing like blushing was a completely new concept to her. God this was adorable. Kira immediately shipped it. She felt like Tinker Bell getting all the applause she needed to live, whenever her kilig senses started to tingle. And if she could do this for Ate Nessie, one of her favorite people in the world? Well, it would be a small way to pay her back for all the love and kindness she’d given Kira.
“Hi, Mang Roldan!” Kira said brightly. “You should have an iced tsokolate. I just made some.”
“Oh, I couldn’t,” he said sheepishly, smiling politely at her. “Nakakahiya.”
“I insist!” Kira said brightly, shooting up from her seat, her tsokolate sloshing dangerously in her hand, but no harm was done to her floors. “I’ll make you a glass. I have to check on my tartufo anyway.”
