The selfie he’d sent me on Tinder was shot facing downward, showing his rippling ab muscles and his pelvic lines that ducked down into his blue jeans. Before I knew what I was doing, I wasleaning back on my pillows and spreading my legs. I could still smell his scent in my nose, like he was in the room with me.
Smiling.
My clit was on fire, and by the time I lowered my fingers between my legs, I was already halfway to an orgasm. I stared at the photo, imagining exploring those muscles with my fingertips. Dipping them down into his jeans to wrap around what was inside, squeezing it while he groaned in my ear…
My release was swift and intense, jackhammering through me until I melted back into my pillows. I felt a brief moment of shame for masturbating to one of my students, but it didn’t last long.
He’s practically my age, I told myself.There’s nothing wrong with fantasizing. As long as I don’t act on it, I’m not breaking any rules.
The rationalization felt right, and I fell asleep easily now that I’d had some release.
The next morning, while eating breakfast, I pulled up Tinder. Not to look at our exchange, but to swipe right on as many suitable guys as I could find. I even lowered my standards a little to get as many matches as possible. That was the best way to move on from this: finding someone else to go out with.
It was a chilly morning in Tennessee, and I had to wait for my car windshield to defrost. By the time I walked into my Criminology 101 class, most of the students were seated already. I avoided searching for Jace in the auditorium seating, instead walking right up to my desk to unpack my laptop and other things.
There was a shiny red apple sitting on the desk. A hand-written note was folded in front of it, withLilawritten in blue ink. I lifted the edge to peek at the message.
Something for you to sink your teeth into.
-J
When I looked up, my eyes locked onto Jace like he had some sort of magnetic pull. He was smiling down at me from his seat in the middle of the room, in a row halfway up.
Don’t let yourself get rattled, I told myself.You’re the one in charge, Lila.
“Open your textbooks to chapter one,” I announced to the class. “Page thirty-three, the review questions. Let’s start with the first question…” I made a show of scanning my printed list of students. “…Mr. Strickland. What is the difference betweencrimeanddeviance?”
Jace looked shocked, which gave me a moment of intense satisfaction. But then he flipped a few pages from his notebook and said, in a deep, clear voice, “Crime refers to behavior that violates a formal law and is punishable by the state, whiledeviancerefers to behavior that violates social norms but may not necessarily be illegal.”
He added a little emphasis to the worddeviance, and smiled at me suggestively.
“Very good,” I said, hoping that my cheeks onlyfeltlike they were burning. It should be a crime for one of my students to be so freaking sexy.
“Question number two. What iscrime rate, and how is it typically calculated?” This time I actually scanned the student list to find someone random to call on, settling on the name right before Jace’s on the alphabetized list. “Mr. Radley?”
To my surprise, the student sitting next to Jace began speaking. “Crime rate is a measure used to compare the levelof crime across different populations or regions. It’s usually calculated by dividing…”
Soon I was able to put Jace’s sexy smile out of my mind and get into a groove with the lecture. By the time class ended, I felt a lot more like myself. In charge and unflappable.
But then Jace stopped by my desk on the way out.
“Hi, Professor Carrington,” Jace said, glancing over his shoulder at the other students filing out. “I had a question about tonight’s reading material.”
“The assignment seems pretty straightforward… Mr. Strickland, is it?”
“Please, call me Jace,” he said with that smile of his.
That sexy, infuriating,gorgeoussmile.
And his eyes scanned down my body briefly before locking onto my face again.
“Thanks for the apple, but I’m not a fan of them,” I said.
“Aw. They’re good for you.”
“So are healthy boundaries,” I said quietly.
Jace picked up the apple, tossed it into the air, and caught it nonchalantly. “Regarding the reading. Should we be ready to discuss the end-of-chapter questions again in class on Friday, like we did today?”
