She looks at me, something unreadable in her expression. "Was that a compliment?"
"It was an observation."
"From you, that's practically a declaration of love."
Neither of us moves.
"I'm going to start dinner," I say finally.
"Deck."
"It's getting late. You should rest."
"Deck." She steps closer. "We've been dancing around this for days. The looks. The touches during training. The way you find excuses to avoid being in the same room with me."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Yes, you do." Another step. She's close enough now that I can smell her shampoo, see the flecks of gold in her dark eyes. "I'm not imagining it. Whatever's happening between us."
"Nothing's happening between us."
"Then why did you just look at my mouth?"
Fuck. I did. I do it again, involuntarily, my eyes dropping to her lips before I can stop them.
"Because I'm human." The words come out rough. "Because you're beautiful and you're right there and I haven't touched a woman in years. It doesn't mean anything."
"It doesn't?"
"It can't."
"Why not?"
"Because you're my responsibility. Because I'm supposed to protect you, not—" I cut myself off, jaw tight.
"Not what?"
"Not want you."
The admission costs me. My walls are crumbling, the careful distance I've maintained dissolving under the weight of her presence, her questions, her relentless push against my defenses.
"What if I want you too?"
"Then we're both in trouble."
"Maybe I'm okay with trouble." She reaches out and touches my chest, right over my heart. "Maybe I'm tired of being careful. Of holding back. Of pretending I don't feel things because feeling things is dangerous."
"Feeling things is dangerous. Especially in our situation."
"Our situation is already dangerous. At least this kind of danger comes with benefits."
I should step back. Should put distance between us. Should remember all the reasons this is a terrible idea.
I cover her hand with mine instead.
"If we do this," I say slowly, "there's no going back. I don't do casual fucks. I don't do temporary. If I let myself have you, I'm going to irrationally want to keep you."
"Who says I want to be kept?" But she's smiling. "Maybe I want to keep you."
