Chapter 14
Gabriel
The entire Saturday night shift was hell.
After coming to the conclusion that I had to let Melissa go, that I needed to save my friendship with her, I couldn’t get out of my head. James had even tried having a conversation with me, but I completely blocked him out. She was my whole focus, and I knew I was about to break both of our hearts.
Our shift finally ended, the exhaustion of the house fire weighing heavily. After not being able to sleep all night, I head to my truck, tossing my bag in the back. James jogs over as I open the door. “Gabe, man, what’s going on?”
Sighing, I shut the door, resting my head on the doorframe, hands cradling the back of my head.I don’t want to talk about this right now. My voice comes out rough and snipped. “Nothing.”
Without missing a beat, James spits out, “Bullshit. You’ve been acting weird all month. I know something’s going on and it’s obviously eating at you.”
Turning my head, I study my friend. His bag is slung over his shoulder, arms crossed with his feet planted solidly on the ground. He wasn’t going to give in until I talked. Resignation flows through me—I have to tell James.
I don’t want to tell anyone about what has happened between me and Mel since Valentine’s Day, but keeping it bottled up is doing me no good. There’s not many people I could tell about it anyway. Tanner is one of my best friends, but he’s also Mel’s brother and he’s protective of his sisters. I don’t even want to imagine his anger at finding out I’ve been sleeping with his sister and keeping it a secret.
Glancing around the parking lot, the other guys are slowly making their way to their cars to head home. “Not here.” Tossing my head, I motion to my truck. “Get in.”
After stopping at the nearby coffee shop, we made our way to the park. With everything that went on last night with the fire and the lack of sleep, coffee is going to be the only thing that gets me through this conversation.
Sitting in a parking lot overlooking a small pond, I take my time trying to figure out the best way to explain. I knew James would understand—he wants to help his friend—but speaking the words would make everything real.
We sit there, the silence deafening, as James patiently waits while sipping on his coffee. He’ll wait all day if he has to, but I know he needs to get home to his wife and kid. Exhaling, I toss my head back onto the headrest, my hand kneading my forehead.
Here goes nothing.
“I’ve been sleeping with Mel.” The words seem loud in the silence of the truck. James says nothing, content to wait until I get everything out. “It started with dinner on Valentine’s Day. For some reason, we made it a real date. Things got…heated.” Lowering my hand, I turn to look at James to see his reaction. He looks down at the lid of his coffee cup, fiddling with the tab to close the lid, but says nothing.
Sensing me looking over at him, James nods his head. “Go on.”
“We couldn’t deny the chemistry between us, so we’ve been sleeping together for the last month. And I…” I wasn’t sure if I should say this next part, but I did. “I love her. I’m in love with her.”
A hint of a smile tugs at my friend’s mouth, his happiness for me obvious. “It’s about damn time, man. You’ve been in love with her for as long as I’ve known you. How did you not know?” He reaches over and slaps my shoulder. I can’t even be mad about how happy he is for me, either.
“I don’t know,” I admit, shaking my head, “But it can’t continue.”
James’ head snaps back at my admission, “Why the fuck not? You love this girl. She’s your best friend. Man, you’ve hit the jackpot. Why are you ruining it?”
What he’s saying is exactly what I have been telling myself since Friday. Melisthe jackpot—she’s everything.But I can’t risk it.
The fear that comes whenever I think about Mel not being in my life anymore is all consuming. I love her—I’minlove with her—and the thought of her leaving me behind for someone else rips the breath from my lungs.
“I just…I can’t lose her. Mel goes from boyfriend to boyfriend and what I feel for her is real, but I’m just the next guy to her.”
“What the hell are you talking about, Gabe?” His voice is full of disbelief and frustration.
“I’d rather be her friend than her rebound,” I snap. Taking deep breaths, I work to calm myself before continuing. “She’s getting over Kyle. She hasn’t had time to process all of that, I mean, we started sleeping together the next week. I need to know that she’s with me because she feels the same way, but I don’t think she’ll know that without time. Time to be by herself, or time to move on.”
James rubs his hand along his jaw, processing my words. “So, what are you saying?”
Leaning my head against the steering wheel, I mumble, “I have to put an end to it. For both our sakes.” Unease floods my body at the thought of breaking up with her, if we’re even together, that is.
James’ loud voice startles me, making me jerk back. “Are you fucking stupid?” he practically yells, tossing his arms out as far as the cab would let him. “You’re crazy about her and you’re just going toruin it? Is this even what she wants? Have you talked with her about it?” I shake my head, my decision already made. “Is there anything I can do to talk you out of it?”
Is there? I’ve been having the same argument with myself since Friday, but I always come back to the same conclusion: this needs to happen.
Defeated, I shake my head.
