Well, to most of them.
“I want to do something right for once. I want this life to be more, mean more. If I can’t have love and I can’t have my voice, give me something, ANYTHING.” I scream at the Goddess as my chest tightens.
Her crystalised figure continues to stare up towards the centre of the tree and the radiant glow-worms above. I have been here before. It is sad how many times I’ve been here before and repeated this mantra. This turn, it is worse. This turn, I’ve lost the right to dream. I have a choice to make.Do I want to live this life anymore?
Scrubbing the dirt from my cheeks, I stumble out of the tree and flop along the shoreline, splashing my face with fresh, salty water.I could keep going.I could walk towards the towering waves lapping the coastline right into the depths of the ocean. An ocean I feel such comfort in. A moon I know better than the features of my own face.The water will take me. She will claim me as her own. I know she will.
Without further thought, I stand and start my journey home. The temple is not my home. It is just keeping me safe.
Safe from what? Death?And now, I welcome death with open arms as I inch closer into the water.
A great belly laugh wells up within my stomach and out of my throat, echoing in the large cave.
And that’s when I sense it. Waist-deep in freezing ocean water… A deep, powerful pull at my chest.
six
Dove
Iclutch at thestrange sensation in my chest. It’s almost like there is a cord pulling me towards something. I do not know what, though. There have been times I have felt this odd knowing before, but never to this extent.
Water splashes around me as I spin, trudging back to the shoreline. “Wren?” I call out, but I know.
I know the odd feeling has nothing to do with her. Wren lives curled up deep in my heart. From there, she whispers her melodic tune in safety, where no one else can get to her. However, I have been finding it harder to reach her.
Onceagain, she is silent. She doesn’t like it when I get sad, or the deep aching where my skin feels too heavy for my body. In those instances, words will never be enough. She is here. She will always be here, even when I step through the veil between worlds.
A loud silence continues to greet me, just my heavy breath for company as I proceed to drag my drenched body out of the seawater. The strange tug slowly subsides as my mind begins to right itself.
“Are you finished?”Excellent timing, as always.
“Quite finished, I think.” My lips tremble, and my skin pimples as the words tumble out. “Did you feel that?”
“I feel what you feel,”comes her almost sarcastic reply.
“Ver-rry helllp-fu-lll, than-nnk yoo-ou.” The sharp chill sinks deep as my teeth chatter.
I need to find my way back to the hot springs before my bones rattle from my body. Turns out, moon-drenched swims are not fun when it’s freezing cold outside.
A slight tinkle of laughter vibrates through my body, warming it slightly. I scowl.
Hurriedly, I make my way back to the tunnel. However, something is different. It moves me. The air seems to taste sweeter, the moon shines brighter and my step is lighter.Maybe it’s hope.I haven’t felt this in so long.What a strangesentiment.
A long, winding path leads me through the tunnels under the temple until I find a mist curving the corner—the hot springs, a bathing ground for all who live in the temple. The local hot waters are said to heal all.
Hopefully, they can mend an aching, barely distinguishable heart. I’m pretty sure it is just a pile of rubble rattling around my chest at this point.
With soft steps, I make my way into the sacred space. This late—or early—in the morning, I do not usually see any people. Moving my way through the steamy mist, glow-worms twinkle above, leaving slimy tendrils of light. I find the furthest pool—a small outlier to the larger springs—in the centre of the room.
On my way, I grab a small, herbal-infused soap and towel, but I come up short when I see golden yellow hair waterfalling the edge of my pool.
My feet halt their course, and I’m tempted to make a retreat when a strong but smooth voice greets me. “Come, Dove. I do not bite.”That is questionable, considering the stories. Cardinal, the high priestess and consort of the king is anything but soft or timid. She is a formidable woman who has taken a keen interest in my welfare since I was a youngling. Now, as a young woman of twenty-five, I respect herauthority for the opportunities she has afforded me when she could’ve left me to the mercy of the streets as an orphan all those rotations ago.
I lower my head and follow the light splashing as Cardinal shifts her body to the side, making room in the smaller pool, barely big enough for the two of us.
Those icy eyes do not leave my body as I make haste to drop my blanket, pinafore and blouse. Being shy within your nudity is not a luxury one possesses when living with women who bathe together. They are just bodies that need to be cleaned. Though, the way Cardinal views my body makes a shiver run through the small hairs on my skin.
“Come, sit.” She lifts her long, wet hair to the side and places her arms on the stone ledge behind her, not moving her eyes off my chest. “Such a shame,” she continues as I neatly pile my clothes and towel before moving opposite her in the spring, the heat of the water chasing away the chill.
