“You good?” Mason’s voice breaks through my memories like a lifeline.
I shake my head, trying to shake off the past. “Yeah.”
“That definitely didn’t go as planned,” he says, a hint of exasperation coloring his tone.
“No kidding,” I reply, rubbing my temples as if that could ease the tension pooling there. I can still feel the echo of Chad's words, the way he dismissed everything between us as if it had never meant a thing.
Mason glances back toward the door Chad exited, his expression shifting to one of concern. “We need to follow him. He can’t keep running from this.”
“Where do you think he went?” I ask, a mix of worry and frustration tightening in my chest.
“I don’t know, but we can find him; Blue Ridge isn’t that big.”
CHAPTER 38
Chad
I run.
I don’t even think about it; my legs just move on their own. The cool night air bites at my skin, but it doesn’t do a damn thing to calm the fire burning in my chest. My heart’s pounding, the sound of it thundering in my ears louder than the music still pulsing from the bar behind me. Every step feels like I’m trying to outrun something bigger than myself—something I can’t control.
Why did Mason have to say that? Why now? Why in front of everyone? Lakelyn and I had a plan, and I just screwed it all up.
The words “scent-bound” keep echoing in my head, bouncing around and making everything worse. It’s too much. Toofuckingmuch.
Adding to that is Dean’s insistence that it’s true—that he wants me now. But I remember what my mom and dad said after shoving me into the car to get me somewhere to ride out my first heat.That boy doesn’t want Chad; he’s reacting to his hormones. It’s normal in young alphas to not be able to resist the pull of an omega. He’ll come to his senses.
They continued like that as if I hadn’t been in the car. And my heat-addled brain took in every word, searing them into my heart. Dean didn’t really want me; he pitied me. His words when I ran into him at the club after were part of that pity, part of that kindness that had always been him. I couldn’t let him be stuck with me just because he kissed me and followed his instincts during a heat. The memories hit me like a truck rolling me over, and I ran harder.
My feet hit the pavement, my breath coming in short, ragged bursts as I tear down the street. I know I’m being stupid. I know I’m running like a goddamn coward, but I can’t stop. Not now.
“Chad!”
Lakelyn’s voice slices through the chaos in my mind, and I slow down for a second, just enough for her to catch up, her footsteps echoing behind me. I keep moving, though, because if I stop, all of this—everything I’m feeling—is going to crash down around me, and I’m not sure I can handle it.
“Chad, wait!” she calls again, her voice closer now, desperate and full of concern. “Please.”
I stumble to a stop by the edge of a park, my breath coming out in harsh pants, and I grip the back of my neck like that’ll somehow hold me together. I’m shaking, barely holding it in. The last thing I need is Lakelyn seeing me like this, but she’s already here. Already seeing too much.
“Chad...” Her voice is soft, but it’s enough to send another wave of emotion crashing over me. I hear the rustle of her steps as she comes closer, and I clench my fists to stop my hands from trembling.
“I’m fine,” I mutter, the words hollow and not convincing to anyone. Least of all myself.
“No, you’re not,” she says gently, and I can feel her warmth behind me even though I’m trying so damn hard to block everything out.
The words spill out before I can stop them, raw and jagged, laced with every bit of panic clawing at my chest. “You don’t get it,” I snap, my voice rough, breaking as it grates through my teeth. I spin around, and the second my eyes lock with hers—those wide, concerned eyes—I feel everything inside me unraveling. The walls I’ve fought so hard to build start crumbling, piece by piece. “You have no idea what this is like, Lakelyn. This… this fucking mess inside of me. I’ll ruin it all. You, Mason, Dean—everything. You don’t want what I really am. No one does.”
Lakelyn doesn’t flinch. She just watches me, her gaze soft but steady, like she’s pulling all the broken pieces of me into focus. And I know she feels it. All of it. The storm that’s been swirling inside me for years, the panic and confusion, the pain I’ve buried so deep, it’s a wonder I haven’t shattered. It’s pouring out of me now, and I can’t stop it. Not with her standing this close.
“I feel it,” she whispers, her voice so gentle it almost breaks me further. “Chad, I know what you’re feeling.”
“Then you know how fucked up this is,” I choke out, fingers twisting into my hair, tugging like I can physically stop the chaos in my head. “You know I can’t—” My voice cracks, sharp and painful, and I swallow the rest of the words. Words I don’t want to say. Words that hang between us, heavy with promises I’ve made to her, promises I can’t even be sure I can keep. I marked her, and now, when my next heat comes, she’ll go through hell because of me.
Her gaze never wavers, holding me steady even though I’m on the verge of collapsing. “I don’t know everything that’s going on inside you,” she says, voice solid, grounding. “But I know you don’t have to do it alone. You’re not alone, Chad. You never were.”
Her words hit like a punch to the gut, knocking the air from my lungs. I want to believe her. I want to let go, to let someonein. I thought I let her in already. But all I can feel is the crushing weight of years spent pretending. Pretending I didn’t want this. Pretending I wasn’t terrified of what would happen if I let myself need someone. And now this—this pack, this scent-bound madness—it’s too much to handle.
“I’m not like you,” I rasp, my voice barely holding together. “I’m not like Mason. You two… you have each other. You know what you want. I can’t even figure out who the hell I am. And now there’s this whole scent-bound pack bullshit and soulmates and—fuck.” My voice cracks again as I met her steady gaze. “I don’t even know how to deal with any of it.”
