Every night, when Todd’s voice wraps around me, West’s guitar hums low, Jake’s bass thrums steady, and Xayden’s rhythm pounds through the stage, I feel it in my chest. It’s like they’re stitching something back together inside me, something I didn’t even know was broken.
It’s everything I dreamed of as a teenager, standing on the sidelines of their lives, imagining what it would be like if we were together. And it’s all the things I missed when I made the choice to walk away for my career.
But here’s the thing—remembering that choice doesn’t hurt the way it used to.
The resentment I carried for so long, the bitterness over them telling me to choose, it doesn’t sting the same way anymore. We were young, all of us emotional and overwhelmed by feelings none of us understood back then.
It’s different now.
They aren’t telling me to choose between my career and them.
The feelings growing inside of me now feel bigger, heavier, more permanent. The second I let them back in, I knew it wouldn’t be the same as it was before. This time, I can feel the difference.
They’re not just trying to win me back—they’re trying to make a place for me. In their lives, in their music, in theirpack.
And the truth is, I’m letting them.
I can see it in every little thing they do, in the way they watch me, the way they take care of me without smothering me. The way they’ve let me set the pace while making it abundantly clear they’re not going anywhere.
I sit on the edge of the bed in yet another hotel room, twirling the charm on my bracelet. The small music note catches the light, and I can’t help but smile. It’s become a habit, this nervous fiddling with the bracelet, but it’s also become my reminder.
They’re trying.
For me. For us.
A knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts, and when I open it, Todd is standing there, his hair still damp from the shower, a sheepish grin on his face.
“Hey,” he says, holding up a bag from the café down the street. “Thought you might be hungry.”
I laugh lightly, stepping aside to let him in. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“Sure, I did,” he says, setting the bag on the table. “You didn’t eat much earlier, and Xayden wouldn’t shut up about how we need to keep you fed and happy.”
I roll my eyes, but warmth spreads through my chest anyway. “I’m fine, you know.”
Todd turns, leaning back against the table, his arms crossed as he studies me. “You don’t have to be fine all the time, Ash.”
The sincerity in his voice catches me off guard, and I look away, focusing on the bag instead. “I know,” I say.
He doesn’t press further, just steps closer, his hand brushing against mine as he tilts his head to catch my gaze. “We’ve got you, okay? All of us.”
And just like that, the ache in my chest fades, replaced by something warmer, steadier.
“I know,” I say again, this time meeting his eyes. And I let myself believe it.
“Good.” Todd smiles, his hand dropping from my chin as he turns back to the table. “Now, are you going to sit and eat, or do I need to feed you?”
A laugh pops unbidden from my lips, breaking through the tension like sunlight through clouds. “That depends on what you picked out,” I say, sinking into the chair next to the table, curiosity piqued.
He raises an eyebrow, smirking as he pulls a container from the bag. “Your favorite, obviously.”
He flips the lid open with a casual flourish, revealing a perfectly prepared plate of chicken parmesan, complete with a side of spaghetti and garlic bread. The aroma hits meimmediately—warm, savory, and so familiar it makes my chest tighten.
I blink, the humor in my smile faltering for a moment as the realization sinks in. “You remembered,” I whisper, my voice quieter than I intended.
Todd pauses, his smirk softening into something gentler. “Of course I did,” he says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “This was your meal. Every birthday, every special occasion—this was the go-to. Figured it hasn’t changed.”
I stare at the container, my fingers brushing against the edge of the table as a wave of emotion washes over me. He’s right—I haven’t changed. Not in the ways that matter.
